Wedding Party

To the people who actually "remove" a BM...

for not "supporting you", or fire your flower girl for being too young or whatever your particular drama was.... How did that work out for you? How did YOUR DAY turn out?

I'm just wondering because most of these ladies rarely ever do followup and I really just honestly want to know.


Re: To the people who actually "remove" a BM...

  • Yeah, I'd like to know how the friendship / relationship was AFTER the wedding.
    The Bump ate my signature. DD - Apr 2011 DS - expected June 2013
  • I would love to know but i'm sure that no one will post. Everytime a girl comes on here talking about kicking someone out someone we tell them its rude and they get offended about being "attacked". If 20 people tell you its a bad idea...maybe its a bad idea?
    Anniversary
  • I didn't, but I was a BM in a wedding where the bride kicked out another friend, because she couldn't make it to the shower.  The other girl was really upset and hurt. She didn't come to the wedding, and as far as I know, hasn't spoken to the bride since that day, 2 years ago.  The rest of us BMs tip-toed around it, but it really made us think differently of the bride.
  • Suz - probably not. The person who so adamently defended her idea to kick out a BM is probably not very likely to return and admit that the friendship suffered or ended or things were never quite the same after the wedding day has come and gone and you're no longer The Bride.

    The Bump ate my signature. DD - Apr 2011 DS - expected June 2013
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_people-actually-remove-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:47f80937-6898-475b-a90d-624ffb0b2c15Post:c9321915-4c65-4fc9-a493-d0c7bd0906f0">Re: To the people who actually "remove" a BM...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would love to know but <strong>i'm sure that no one will post. Everytime a girl comes on here talking about kicking someone out someone we tell them its rude and they get offended about being "attacked"</strong>. If 20 people tell you its a bad idea...maybe its a bad idea?
    Posted by suz62984[/QUOTE]

    That's what i was thinking, but I figured "what the hay" it never hurts to ask lol...
  • Mynameisnot - that's awful. I feel so bad for your friend.

    I have always wanted to watch a "bridezillas" show or something and see where the bride was being so terrible(kicking people out or something else) that all the BMs formed together and boycotted the WP until she straightened up. I would love to see that or hear of that. Any one else?
    Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_people-actually-remove-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:47f80937-6898-475b-a90d-624ffb0b2c15Post:31358830-9346-4cc8-8f37-1295b15c8c44">Re: To the people who actually "remove" a BM...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Mynameisnot - that's awful. I feel so bad for your friend. I have always wanted to watch a "bridezillas" show or something and see where the bride was being so terrible(kicking people out or something else) that all the BMs formed together and boycotted the WP until she straightened up. I would love to see that or hear of that. Any one else?
    Posted by suz62984[/QUOTE]

    LOL... that would be awesome and quite sad at the same time lol
  • My BSC friend booted a BM. And then replaced her.

    She swears to this day that the reason she booted the original girl was because "she didn't order the dress on time". Which is odd, because all of the BMs (Including the replacement girl) ordered their dresses in May ... and she booted the first girl in February. Even when people tried pointing this out to her, she just sort of back-peddled and said "Oh well, she lived in Florida, so I just knew she wouldn't get the dress on time". There's a big difference between assuming she wouldn't and her not actually doing it ... not that either's a valid reason.

    The booted girl actually still came to the wedding (Booted girl's grandfather performed the ceremony, so the bride felt like her hands were tied on the invite and "she couldn't be rude") ... they still kind of talk from time to time ... but you can tell that they both secretly hate each other

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
    image

    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • I was the one that was removed and I can confirm that it was a friendship ender. We were friends for 13 years and haven't spoken in almost 10 years,  since the day she kicked me out of the wedding.
  • What are some of these brides thinking? I do not understand the behavior at all. I was in a wedding many years ago where a Bridesmaid got into a terrible argument with the bride two days before the wedding (they were both in the wrong in my opinion) but the wedding day went great and everyone got over themselves!

    I was so angry at my MOH I wanted to fire her the day of the wedding, but I absolutely knew I could not... Some things you just don't do. What happened to that idea?
  • yeah, I dont think we'll get many replies from brides that did the booting, unless there was a happy ending they made up in their head.

    But it's really interesting hearing from the former bridesmaids! So... weird hearing that BSC women really exist when not being filmed for tv...
    image
  • I was a replacement BM for one that was kicked out/quit.  It was kinda mutal, the BM wanted to wear a different dress than the rest of the BMs, she WASN'T MOH, and had already ordered the different style dress before telling the bride.  This happened about 6 weeks before the wedding.  There were a few other things going on as well, this was just the biggest.  The bride and I were starting to hang out a little more and get closer at the time (we met after she got engaged) and she asked me to stand in the wedding.  I wasn't offended by being asked as a replacement, I knew the situation.  She paid for my dress and shoes, since she was asking me last minute, and I had just had a baby.  Me and her have gotten closer since her wedding, and she's the one who introduced me to FI and will be my MOH.  She started as a BM, but my MOH quit, got selfish, and now our friendship is over.  She stopped talking to me because I told her that third baby showers weren't very common, and she would look gift-grabby by asking people to throw her one.  So, my BM is now my MOH, and she's not offended by any of it. 

     As for her and the fired BM, they didn't talk for a couple years, and just recently started talking again, but aren't close at all.  
  • spenet1spenet1 member
    First Comment
    I was booted from a friend's wedding a few years ago. We'd had an on again/off again friendship (her twin sister is my best friend and MOH now), but were mostly Off since she started dating her now husband (I really dislike him and the person he turned her into). She never asked me to be a BM, just assumed. The wedding was in NY and I had moved to GA for grad school. When she called to tell me when dress fittings were, I called her back and said "Look.. I'm moving across the country, I might not be able to attend all showers/parties/etc, but if that's okay with you I'll still be in the wedding," and she said "Actually, it's probably best if you weren't." I still attended the wedding to see all of my other friends I hadn't seen in a while, but we never spoke between her kicking me out and the wedding. Since the wedding (in Dec 08), we have not spoken again either.

    NOW, I have the dilemma if I should invite her to my wedding. Her sister is the MOH, her parents are invited, and another of my BM's is dating her brother - so her WHOLE family will be there. It's a big moral dilemma I'm grappling with until STDs go out in 6 mos!!!!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    White Knot
  • I was going to boot a girl out of my BP but I didn't have to. She stepped down herself so I got lucky. I asked her when she lived in the same state as me. then a month later moved to florida (i'm in Pa) and we stopped talking for like 4 months. So i went to talk to her about it and said are you still in and she said well i'm goin to try to make the weddin but i wont be in it. It saved me from asking her to not be in it. I'm not sure I would've had the guts to but it worked out in the end for me.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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