bridemaids hair and makeup

cortneywalker79

Me and my fiance are paying for our own wedding.  I will be having 4 bridemaids and they are buying their own dresses and have no problem with that.  I am getting my hair and makeup done but I really can't afford to pay to have theirs done.  What is the general rule for this?

aerinpegadrak

If you're not paying, then leave it up to them to get their hair and makeup done where and how they see fit, including the option of doing it themselves.  You can let them know where you're getting yours, but you can't make them use the same stylist if you're not paying.

MyNameIsNot

If you want theirs done pro, you pay for it.  If you leave them to do their own, they can pay for it if they decide they want it done professionally.  Most women are pretty good at doing their own hair/make up.

frogurt814

You do not have to pay for their hair and makeup as long as you are not requiring them to have it done.

You can say "I am getting my hair and makeup done at X Salon at X time.  If you are interested in getting your hair and makeup done there, please let me know, and I can make an appointment for you."

I told my BMs that I wasn't requiring them to get their hair done and that they were more than welcome to join me at the place I was getting my hair done, but they were not obligated to do so.  I know people are picky about their hair so I figured some of them might even want to go to their own stylists.

Four out of the five joined me, and the other one just did her own hair.

banana468

You can say, "Hey, I'm getting my hair and makeup done on the morning of the wedding.  If you're interested in joining me to get yours done, the cost will be $X each.  I don't care what you do though."

And mean it.  :-)

stephasuasu

I went through the same situation, but in the end I decided to pay for my 9 bridesmaids and 1 flower girl. You can do this as their "gift" as well, and maybe get them a little something small to go along with it. My mother and I went into several hair salons and negotiated with them, and we finally found one that could do all of us for $55 per girl. Not bad. With fewer people, you will have more options for salons. One salon in our town does updo's for $20! They just couldn't handle our wedding party size. I would go into different salons and see what their pricing is.

stephasuasu

I agree, that's why she could get a little something to go along with it, like a pair of flats or a necklace.

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridemaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:48a999a7-59e5-43a1-845a-d78858a44ba5Post:9be9b470-aa63-4b46-af7c-5cb2cfe64ded">Re: bridemaids hair and makeup</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree, that's why she could get a little something to go along with it, like a pair of flats or a necklace.
Posted by stephasuasu[/QUOTE]

As long as the other gift is something that has nothing to do with the wedding it's OK.  But the other gift shouldn't be "little".  It should be the main gift. 

The main gift should not be anything related to the wedding.

aerinpegadrak

I paid for my girls to have their hair done, but I never would have dreamed of counting it as their gift.  It's not like it's for them as a person, so how is it a gift?

stephasuasu

For our wedding we gave Steve Madden flats and a custom photo album to the women, and we paid for their hair. I would never just give hair as a gift, but some do. I mean, it is technically a gift, since by definiton a gift is something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation.

Even though I think matching wedding party jewelry for the wedding party is not the best gift, people still do it, and no one ends up wearing it after the wedding. Do all those bridesmaids laugh and the bride for not giving them a proper gift? No.

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridemaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:48a999a7-59e5-43a1-845a-d78858a44ba5Post:02a92324-0f5b-4079-b327-d85b797415e2">Re: bridemaids hair and makeup</a>:
[QUOTE]For our wedding we gave Steve Madden flats and a custom photo album to the women, and we paid for their hair. I would never just give hair as a gift, but some do. I mean, it is technically a gift, since by definiton a gift is something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation. Even though I think matching wedding party jewelry for the wedding party is not the best gift, people still do it, and no one ends up wearing it after the wedding. Do all those bridesmaids laugh and the bride for not giving them a proper gift? No.
Posted by stephasuasu[/QUOTE]

It's not really a gift if it's for the wedding though.   Or at minimum, it's a gift with strings attached.

And jewelry for the wedding isn't a gift either.  It may be common to give but it's not really an appropriate gift.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridemaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:48a999a7-59e5-43a1-845a-d78858a44ba5Post:02a92324-0f5b-4079-b327-d85b797415e2">Re: bridemaids hair and makeup</a>:
[QUOTE]For our wedding we gave Steve Madden flats and a custom photo album to the women, and we paid for their hair. I would never just give hair as a gift, but some do. I mean, it is technically <strong>a gift, since by definiton a gift is something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation</strong>. Even though I think matching wedding party jewelry for the wedding party is not the best gift, people still do it, and no one ends up wearing it after the wedding. Do all those bridesmaids laugh and the bride for not giving them a proper gift? No.
Posted by stephasuasu[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly.  Getting their hair done and giving them wedding accessories (shoes, jewelry, etc) is not something that is bestowed on them.  It is dressing them up for YOUR wedding.  That's why everyone says that BM gifts should be totally unrelated to the wedding.</div><div>
</div><div>Maybe they laugh at the bride behind her back, but I doubt it.  More likely, they get their feelings hurt because she didn't care enough to go choose a proper gift, and just gave them wedding accessories.  No one likes a friend that treats her like a wedding prop.</div>

stephasuasu

With such strict gift giving requirements and your opinions on what is "appropriate" I can imagine how your guests felt about giving you a gift for attending your wedding. Hopefully they met your standards and gave appropriate dollar amounts! Jeeze. And if they didn't, well they at least you won't laugh in their face.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridemaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:48a999a7-59e5-43a1-845a-d78858a44ba5Post:81b9a374-8365-4898-8054-ab4d46834b36">Re: bridemaids hair and makeup</a>:
[QUOTE]With such strict gift giving requirements and your opinions on what is "appropriate" I can imagine how your guests felt about giving you a gift for attending your wedding. Hopefully they met your standards and gave appropriate dollar amounts! Jeeze. And if they didn't, well they at least you won't laugh in their face.
Posted by stephasuasu[/QUOTE]

<div>Way to get personal.  And illogical.</div><div>
</div><div>It goes back to kindergarten.  When giving a gift, it is the thought that counts.  A BM gift is a gift for your closest friends.  If a bride can't be bothered to put at least a minimal amount of thought into it, well, that's just sad.  </div>

aerinpegadrak

I would prefer a $10 gift from a bride that shows that she thought about me and really knows who I am and what I'd like over a $100 set of jewelry that I will never wear again.  Hands down.  It's not about the dollar amount, it's about shopping for your friends instead of their temporary titles.

emilyinchile

Aaand every post made my stephasuasu just confirmed my opinon of her. Ignore her, guys, she's just one of those people who's hell-bent on doing it wrong.

[Deleted User]

Just let them do what they want. I had 6 BM's and we paid for our own weddding as well. There was no way I was able to afford for them to get their hair and nails done. A few of them weren't really into it and would of much rathered done their own, which is what all but 2 of them decided to do.

I just told them as long as it looked nice and nothing too eccentric, I was good with whatever they felt comfortable with. All of them had good taste, so I didn't have to be worried there.