Bridal party distance problems

SD3194

My MOH is stressing out about my bachelorette party and bridal shower. Half of my bridesmaids are in Western NC and the other half in Northern VA, about an 8 hour drive. She doesn't want to make half of my bridesmaids drive 8 hours for the party and shower. She thought about having a destination bachelorette party in Atlantic City that way it's neutral ground for everyone but I'm against that because I would feel very selfish making my bridesmaids shell out hundreds of dollars on a mini-vacation. Besides, some of them have kids and probably wouldn't be able to come anyway. I'm also against having the bachelorette party the night before the wedding, I can get a little wild and would rather not wake up with a hangover. I told her to just not even plan a bridal shower because I don't care about getting gifts. However, I really want a bachelorette party because it will probably be the last time I will ever have all my bestfriends in the same place partying together. Any advice?

Sorry this is so long. Thanks.

AdeleDazeem

I'm unclear where you are actually located, but if half your bridesmaids are in NC, why don't you go to them? 

Or, ask your MOH if having a mini bachelorette party the day before the wedding might work.  Say, you all stay in the same hotel room for a bit together or you all get lunch together before the crazy begins.

sister2groom

If she is going to plan both, just make sure BMs know they don't HAVE to come. Or you could have the shower and party the same day.

kimp67

Could you pick a weekend that would work for most of the wp & do both things that weekend?

jerseydevil

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridal-party-distance-problems?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:49323f53-ef6d-49bc-9001-99293643f4e9Post:705ff7aa-e635-4e6e-98d7-039ccf938ab2">Re: Bridal party distance problems</a>:
[QUOTE]Could you pick a weekend that would work for most of the wp & do both things that weekend?
Posted by kimp67[/QUOTE]

That's what I would probably suggest also.

aerinpegadrak

I would also try to do both things in one weekend, that way people don't have to travel twice.

bablingbrooke

Why would your bach party be your last party as a group ever again?  You can still party and see your friends after you get married.  I went to Vegas last month with the girls from my WP, and I was married a year and a half ago!

The BMs and MOH need to talk to each other about what weekend works, but in all likelihood some might not be able to make it so you need to be okay with that possibility.  Not all my BMs came to my bach party or my shower.  It was fine--it happens when you live cross-country from your WP and only have 10 days to do everything (that was my situation).  I think PPs are right in that you'll have to try to do all of it the same weekend if you want them all there.  Otherwise, be okay with less than 100% attendance.  

Brycedance

I'm in a similar situation.  My MOH and I came up with a good solution (for me and my friends) that seems to work for everyone.   My Bachelorette party will be the Thursday before the wedding (my wedding is on a Saturday).  We both checked with my closest friends to see if this will work and it seems to be the best solution in this case.  It also means people don't have to travel twice. 

SD3194

I live in NC with 3 of the bridemaids, the other 2 live in VA (both have kids). The NC girls don't know the VA ones. It may not be the last time we all hang out as a group but I think it's very unlikely because the girls don't really know one another.

Summer2011Bride

Could you plan a bachelorette party where you live and if none of the OOT BM's can make it, consider another smaller one where they live, just with them, or at the very least, a get-together of sorts? One of my co-workers had a bach party with her co-workers and friends from this city and then a bach party with her OOT friends in her hometown. I would just make sure to make it clear if you do that that none of your friends need to come to both.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridal-party-distance-problems?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:49323f53-ef6d-49bc-9001-99293643f4e9Post:61ea34d5-256a-46b6-b7c7-7a9c4d3e265f">Re: Bridal party distance problems</a>:
[QUOTE]I live in NC with 3 of the bridemaids, the other 2 live in VA (both have kids). The NC girls don't know the VA ones. It may not be the last time we all hang out as a group but I think it's very unlikely because the girls don't really know one another.
Posted by SD3194[/QUOTE]
Then why is it a big deal to have them all hang out together?  They don't have to be friends with each other, it's fine.  For most people, the wedding itself is the only time in their lives where they'll party with everyone they love at once, because those people usually don't associate with one another.  Nothing wrong with that.