Pregnant Bridesmaid?

vickersgirl83

Ok,  I'm not a bridezilla by any means, I have been very relaxed this whole wedding process, my bridesmaids are wonderful, but I have a problem.  My FSIL told my FI and I just 2 days ago, that her and her husband are trying to get pregnant ( if shes not already).  She knows she is in my wedding, and has known since Feb that she is a bridesmaid.  She also has been told, along with the other 5 bridesmaids, that if anyone becomes pregnant (to the point they would be showing at my wedding), that they would be moved to the guest registery or programs.  When I mentioned this to her a while back, she was all calm and said she completely understood because it was my preference.  So, say she does become pregnant, how do I remind her of this without her getting pissed off??

jagore08

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-bridesmaid-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4975548b-313d-4f65-93ac-58b477ac4a84Post:d43bab1a-9c3e-4273-9b95-558375947c64">Pregnant Bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok,  I'm not a bridezilla by any means, I have been very relaxed this whole wedding process, my bridesmaids are wonderful, but I have a problem.  My FSIL told my FI and I just 2 days ago, that her and her husband are trying to get pregnant ( if shes not already).  She knows she is in my wedding, and has known since Feb that she is a bridesmaid.  She also has been told, along with the other 5 bridesmaids, that if anyone becomes pregnant (to the point they would be showing at my wedding), that they would be moved to the guest registery or programs.  When I mentioned this to her a while back, she was all calm and said she completely understood because it was my preference.  So, say she does become pregnant, how do I remind her of this without her getting pissed off??
Posted by vickersgirl83[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Really?  Why couldn't she stand up with you as a BM if she's pregnant?  It's a joyous time in her life you and want to punish her for it.  This is a childish move on your part.</div><div>
</div><div>ETA: You are being a bridezilla.  

</div>

Viczaesar

You're completely out of line here.  Bad form.  Telling your bridesmaids that if they get pregnant "they would be moved to the guest registery or programs" is a bridezilla move, no ifs, ands, or butts.  (And what the heck do you mean by "moved to the guest registery or programs"?)

trix1223

This is some Labor Day weekend MUD.  It just has to be.  Please let it be.  Please, dear Lord, let it be MUD.

bablingbrooke

Bridezilla.  Big one.

mkrupar

If you have to preface your post with "I'm not a bridezilla by any means" usually means you're being a bridezilla. I cannot believe you told your BMs that if they got pregnant they would get demoted! FSIL is/or will be carrying YOUR future neice and nephew and you would push her to programs or gift registry (still don't understand that, but whatever). There is no way you can tell her this. If she's pregnant she should still stand with you.

This outrages me so much that you think your entitled to even think this is an option. Obviously your WP is a group of props to you. Your pregnant FSIL might blemish your photos! Oh no!!! Way to use your day to celebrate love, joy, and family by being a total bridezilla. Which by the way, you are!!

jaimed99

So, did you have your BMs sign a contract that dictated that they not have sex with their SO/FI/DH for the entirety of your engagement, for the sake of ONE FREAKING DAY???? Did you put them all on birth control? Holy crap, girl, you are WAY out of line.

Yes, you are being an absolute and total bridezilla.

Please, just kick her out for simply trying to get pregnant, which will in turn destroy the relationship that you have with her (and remember, she will be your SIL, so you WILL see her at family functions from now until whenever) and make you look like an absolute B*TCH to the other BMs. She's better off not standing up for someone as selfish and self-absorbed as you anyway.

ETA: Try reading the FAQ at the top of this forum...it may give you some valuable insight...

bablingbrooke

You know, I bet that biitch is going to get herself knocked up just to sabotage your day.  I mean, she's gotta be jealous of you.  Maybe you don't want to marry into a family like this?  So selfish and underhanded that they would impose their personal preferences over the major lifestyle choices of others.  I mean really, who does that?

Robyn5298

Sorry dear, there's no way to do that without seriously slighting your future sister-in-law.  Is it really worth hurting her over seeing a baby bump through her dress?

Also keep in mind she will be your family very soon, and you not only run the risk of hurting her, but also your future in-laws.  Not a good way to begin a marriage!

I think you ought to rethink this, there are lots of maternity bridesmaid dresses out there and I'm sure you could find something to complement the dresses the other girls are wearing.  Good luck!

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-bridesmaid-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4975548b-313d-4f65-93ac-58b477ac4a84Post:4130702f-4eac-411a-8073-2dda40526616">Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]You know, I bet that biitch is going to get herself knocked up just to sabotage your day.  I mean, she's gotta be jealous of you.  Maybe you don't want to marry into a family like this?  So selfish and underhanded that they would impose their personal preferences over the major lifestyle choices of others.  I mean really, who does that?
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]


HAHA...That or maybe she'll try and recruit the other BMs to get KU before the wedding too! Because that would absolutely ruin HER day. (She probably never refers to it as OUR day, just MY day).

jaimed99

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-bridesmaid-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4975548b-313d-4f65-93ac-58b477ac4a84Post:4130702f-4eac-411a-8073-2dda40526616">Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]You know, I bet that biitch is going to get herself knocked up just to sabotage your day.  I mean, she's gotta be jealous of you.  Maybe you don't want to marry into a family like this?  So selfish and underhanded that they would impose their personal preferences over the major lifestyle choices of others.  I mean really, who does that?
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

<div>You know, Brooke, sometimes I wish you could "Like" something on these boards...hahahaha</div>

AutumnFair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-bridesmaid-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4975548b-313d-4f65-93ac-58b477ac4a84Post:d43bab1a-9c3e-4273-9b95-558375947c64">Pregnant Bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok,  I'm not a bridezilla by any means, I have been very relaxed this whole wedding process, my bridesmaids are wonderful, but I have a problem. 
Posted by vickersgirl83[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, I believe you are because if you just reread your OP statement no level headed person would be that selfish that they have to kick out family or friend for being pregnant. Kick her out and get ready for the flood of negative, mean, and Bridezilla comments to be thrown in, around and at you. Have a nice day.</div>

mysticl

Is this for real?  How can anyone expect a bridesmaid to plan their life around the bride's wedding?  And when it comes to dictating about when a pregnancy can or cannot happen that is making someone plan their life and the life of their future children around you.  It's a no brainer choice.  Having children is way more important to me than being in someones wedding.   

mbcdefg

Come on, guys. Nobody is this stupid.

jagore08

[QUOTE]Come on, guys. Nobody is this stupid.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

<div>I believe there are people out there who really think like this.  Sad.</div>

JenniferLuvsCandy

Um REALLY? Selfish Bride.

CaylaSummer

To the OP,

No you should not even consider to remove her from the bridal party and I personally do not think that you should be telling the rest of BMDs that they cannot get pregnant for your wedding. I understand it is an important day for you and the possibility of them going into labour might be of concern. However, if it is for your pictures alone, it is very wrong on your part. If she is going into labour and it is really close to your wedding then you should have a talk with her and let her decide if she wants to be in the BP or not. I think she would have enough time to know whether she can take part in it or not. 

I think its cute if all of your BMs are pregnant, very different than most wedding and yours would stand out. I don't know you but maybe you just have issues with the pregnant look in general. Just think about it if you were told by a close friend you could not be in the bridal party because you are pregnant, you might be offended. 

I have seen BMs dresses for pregnant women before so that is not even an issue for you. Good luck

SSaltzman87

I REALLY hope this is MUD......but, who would make this up!?

Girls like the OP make other balanced, engaged women look horrible.

mysticl

I actually know someone who was miffed at one of her BM for getting pregnant.  She didn't kick her out but muttered about the BMs morals and being pregnant while being in a wedding.  The BM in question was married and had been married long before she got pregnant. 

I could have seen her having an issue if the BM had been single only because the wedding was in a Catholic church and the priest might have had an issue but other than that..............

eandringa

I dont understand why this would affect her standing up for you in your wedding? You should never have asked these people if a pregnancy is going to make you decide to ask them to step down. This is the silliest thing I have ever heard, for crying outloud shes married its not like shes breaking any "religious" rules. My SIL is trying to get pregnant and is a bridesmaid in my wedding and I would NEVER ask her to step down ESPECIALLY for that reason.

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-bridesmaid-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4975548b-313d-4f65-93ac-58b477ac4a84Post:7d8fbc75-7664-4e5d-88c8-07aab54f40df">Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]I could have seen her having an issue if the BM had been single only because the wedding was in a Catholic church and the priest might have had an issue but other than that..............
Posted by mysticl[/QUOTE]
That's actually a pretty out-of-date stereotype about Catholics, BTW.  Most priests won't care or take issue with it.  Some will, of course.  But in my experience women who get pregnant out of wedlock aren't exactly pariahs in this day and age.

janedoe1113a

Oh this is ridiculous.

mysticl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-bridesmaid-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4975548b-313d-4f65-93ac-58b477ac4a84Post:95bdfaa7-5bd2-4dbe-a4ca-bed4ad8500c5">Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid? : That's actually a pretty out-of-date stereotype about Catholics, BTW.  Most priests won't care or take issue with it.  Some will, of course.  But in my experience women who get pregnant out of wedlock aren't exactly pariahs in this day and age.
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]
<div align="left">

The wedding wasn't a recent one.  And I was just giving an example where I could see why the bride (who wasn't Catholic and didn't know what to expect from the priest) could have an almost legitimate concern about her pregnant BM.  But since the BM was married there really was not need for concern. 
</div>

trisha_nybn

OMG!!! Is this even real??? So sad.

CaseyandSalley

Im speechless

artbyallie

Wow... you sound like a total biitch... I can't imagine actually telling my bridesmaids they can't get pregnant... especially when they're married! You have no right whatsoever to dictate someone else's life choices, ever. What do you care if she's got a baby bump? She won't be getting more attention than you at your wedding, if that's what you're worried about.

Miss_Sophia

I honestly don't see why you would punish your BM like that? I asked my college roomie to be a BM knowing that she and her husband may get pregnant again. So when she told me she was I was surprised she was so quiet about it. She was afraid I wouldn't want a big pregnant woman in my wedding. She will be 7 months along on the big day. I laughed and I told her she would be in my WP, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I was glad to find out that David's Bridal even allowed her to exchange her dress for a larger size (her mom is an excellent semstress) so she can get her dress fitted around her tummy.

Please don't think that a pregnant BM will somehow take away from your big day. You are the blushing bride and everyone will be looking at you.

[Deleted User]

O.M.G. I think everyone above me has said everything I was thinking.

I don't even know what to say..................yes I do.

Are you going to make them all go on crash diets too? Bind their feet? Get nose jobs? Because you're wanting her to be something she's not. My sister just had my first nephew...and I could not IMAGINE not having her in my WP because she was carrying my newest family member... Can you possibly imagine how self-centered you sound? I mean really?!?!?!? I'm interested to know what your reasoning is behind this rule. Is it the pictures? The "uniform" look? What? I guarantee you can't convince anyone it's more important than your relationships and the feelings of other people.

I think you should think about that and re-evaluate your friendships and relationships with family members and deeply apologize for the complete and total ridiculous selfishness that you're throwing at the people who are being there for YOU on a day of your life that is supposed to be about GETTING MARRIED.

Yeah, okay throw the pregnant girl on guestbook duty. OMG I am so disgusted. Put yourself in her position and think about it again.

banana468

Ladies, while I agree that the OP is beyond out of line to do this (see my avatar!) PLEASE watch the language as you respond.

OP, on the chance that this is real, your restrictions are completely out of line.

SassyBrass

OP, two of the girls I wanted in my WP got pregnant during my engagement. Neither ended up being in my wedding. Here's why:
My wedding was out of country. The one who had a 3 week old at the time couldn't afford to travel because hey! She just had a baby!
The other one was to be about 8 1/2 months by the time the wedding happened and couldn't just hop on a plane.
My friend's son is the light of her life and it's a wonderful thing to see her as a mother.
My other friend is going to meet her new son tomorrow and give her older boy a baby brother. What a beautiful thing.
Yes, I missed them both greatly on my wedding day, but I am happy for them because this is their life, and what they wanted to do.

To demote or kick out a girl just because she is pregnant is beyond rude and rediculous. If you had told me the "condidtions", even if I am not trying to get pregnant, I would have dropped out of your WP, because I can imagine what other 'zilla-ish conditions you would throw my way.
What's the big deal of her being in the wedding. What's wrong with her trying to have a family. Is it REALLY going to ruin anything about the wedding day?
Bottom line, expecting any member of a WP to put off their life until after your pretty princess day is unrealistic, shallow, and superficial. Your wedding day is an important one, but no, it's not THAT important. Get over yourself.

eshaufle

This is completely ridiculous.  If you're the type of person who actually has the nerve to tell your bridesmaids upfront they'll get demoted if they get pregnant, I'm surprised you have any friends at all to be in your WP!  This sounds like something out of some comedic Bridezilla type movie.  Is this a joke?  I certainly hope so...

I think I'd get pregnant if I were your friend just to tick you off.