Wedding Nightmare ~ I Just Want To Elope

Christine435

Has anybody strated planning a wedding and decided it wasn't worth it so eloped instead?

GoodLuckBear14

Stop discussing your wedding plans with anyone except your FI until you figure out what you want.  I think having the kids as the MOH and BM is a cute idea - and I'm sorry but kids trump friends in this situation and she should realize why it is important to you to include them.

As for the wedding planning in general, you and your FI need to sit down for however long it takes until you can agree on things like the guest list and for that reason alone (esp. if you have an autoimmune affected by stress - I know a friend's lupus goes crazy when she's stressed) he needs to take this more seriously.

Finally, you have to have some sort of a reception immediately following the wedding, even if it is just cake and punch.  A reception is where you receive your guests as a thank you for coming to your wedding and it cannot take place on later days.  All the more reason for your FI to step up here to keep you from getting stressed out.  If he is not willing to do this, I'd be worried about the relationship, not the wedding.

ETA - post containing the CN of OP's original information that she gave is below Retread's post.  I wasn't drunk when I gave this answer to what is in OP's post right now.

GoodLuckBear14

CN - since OP decided to change her novel length OP (which is very rude btw to those of us who took the time to read it and respond):

This is her second marriage and her FI's second marriage.

She has an autoimmune disease and as a result cannot have a lot of stress in her life because stress affects it.

She wanted to elope.  FI wants the bells and whistles.  They compromised by deciding on a church wedding and plan on having a BBQ reception on two different days a couple of weeks later.

She and FI cannot agree on details like the guest list because he is laid back and doesn't want to discuss anything.

She went with no MOH and three BMs because she couldn't pick a MOH.  Then someone suggested having her step kids as the MOH and Best Man and one of the BMs got bent out of shape that a kid and not her (who was self proclaimed the most excited for the wedding) woud be MOH.

MyNameIsNot

If the groom wants this big shindig and you don't, why are you getting roped into planning it?  Tell him to plan it and to let you know where and when to show up.  

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-nightmare-i-just-want-to-elope?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4a497877-87b3-471c-9dfe-33319e444c66Post:c2ec1b05-984b-4633-8acb-f9c0814771d3">Re: Wedding Nightmare ~ I Just Want To Elope</a>:
[QUOTE]If the groom wants this big shindig and you don't, why are you getting roped into planning it?  Tell him to plan it and to let you know where and when to show up.  
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This.  There's no reason you should be planning a party you don't even want.  Especially if the stress of doing so is going to affect your health.  Your FI should want you to be healthy more than he wants a party without having to plan it himself.

</div>

aerinpegadrak

If DH were ever to say to me, "I know you don't want this big complicated thing that might cause you physical pain, but I do, so you're going to make it happen for me and I'm not going to lift a finger to help," his ass would be on the curb so fast he'd think he'd teleported.

Wedding planning should absolutely not default to you just because you have the vagina.  I think it's time to tell him, in no uncertain terms, that you're not lifting a finger further toward it, and if he wants this so badly, he'll figure out a way to make it happen, because you're not going to make yourself sick over something you don't even want.  If he's not willing to hear you out, that should be setting off major alarm bells, and you need to seriously reevaluate why you're marrying someone with so little regard or respect for you.

PhoneCardLady

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-nightmare-i-just-want-to-elope?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4a497877-87b3-471c-9dfe-33319e444c66Post:5786bd6c-efa1-43bf-ad5c-275b1bb08e72">Re: Wedding Nightmare ~ I Just Want To Elope</a>:
[QUOTE]CN - since OP decided to change her novel length OP (which is very rude btw to those of us who took the time to read it and respond): This is her second marriage and her FI's second marriage. She has an autoimmune disease and as a result cannot have a lot of stress in her life because stress affects it. She wanted to elope.  FI wants the bells and whistles.  They compromised by deciding on a church wedding and plan on having a BBQ reception on two different days a couple of weeks later. She and FI cannot agree on details like the guest list because he is laid back and doesn't want to discuss anything. She went with no MOH and three BMs because she couldn't pick a MOH.  Then someone suggested having her step kids as the MOH and Best Man and one of the BMs got bent out of shape that a kid and not her (who was self proclaimed the most excited for the wedding) woud be MOH.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

FI and I are seriously thinking of eloping.  It's his 2nd and my1st.

Go to Las Vegas. No, not every chapel is cheesy and even the hotels have wedding chapels. Plus you can have a great honeymoon there!