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Best friends growing up...I was her MOH, does she have to be mine?

jwachnerjwachner
in Wedding Party

This girl and I had been best friends from the time we were 3 until we were 21. She got married and I was her MOH. Her husband is in the army and they moved away and we lost touch. Its been 8 years. If we are lucky, we email once a year. We dont even really know each other anymore. Now that I am engaged I am feeling guilty that I dont really feel like I even want her in the wedding party. Am I wrong for feeling this way? And what if I decide not to have her in my wedding? Can I still invite her to the wedding? I dont want to hurt anyone's feelings but at the same time, I want the people in my bridal party to be people who are part of my every day life. Please help!

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Re: Best friends growing up...I was her MOH, does she have to be mine?

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    No she doesn't.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • gottahavashortigottahavashorti member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    [QUOTE]Am I wrong for feeling this way?[/QUOTE]
    Nope.  Friendships change.
    [QUOTE]And what if I decide not to have her in my wedding?[/QUOTE]
    No biggie.  Being in someone else's wedding doesn't obligate you to have them in yours as well.
    [QUOTE]Can I still invite her to the wedding?
    Posted by jwachner[/QUOTE]
    Absolutely.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    She doesn't have to be your MOH or in the WP at all--friends grow apart.  She'd be wrong to expect it.  Of course you can invite her to the wedding.
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  • lilmizdncnqueenlilmizdncnqueen member
    100 Comments
    I have a similar situation - I was my friend's MOH when she got married. I was 19. She since moved, made life decisions I didn't necessarily agree with, & we've grown apart. She's not in my bridal party, but she is still invited to the wedding.

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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    You don't have to make her MOH or even have her as a bridesmaid. If you want her as a wedding guest, by all means invite her, but if you'd prefer not to then you don't have to.

    You are absolutely not a bad person for feeling this way. People drift apart, it happens.

    If the feeling is mutual, she will more than likely not be upset by this. I would personally feel quite awkward if someone I hadn't spoken to in 8 years asked me to be in her wedding.
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  • CarlySaraCarlySara
    10 Comments
    Definately not!  I've been MOH in 3 weddings, and I'm not having 3 MOHs.  Different times in our lives bring about different friends.  My best friend from college (who would have been a BM) isn't even able to make my wedding because of date and location.  THings change...it's okay!
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