Wedding Party

The "Step-father"....

I'm about to hang myself here.....For those who read my last post, I decided to stand my ground and stick with having my dad walk me down the aisle, and have my dad dance with me at the reception.  I have not told this to either my mom or my stepdad but I have offered to let my stepfather give a speech and he accepted.  The problem?  My mom is giving me the ultimate guilt trip!  She's not calling or texting me, she's being short with me in emails and not ending things with the usual "I love you".  This is someone who I usually consider my best friend and now she is behaving like this.  Then to top it off, she is letting my stepfather come to my ALL GIRL bridal shower this weekend and gave the reaasoning that "well my gay guy friends" were going to be there!  I'm just about at my wits end with her and I can't keep crying all the time.  I'm really sad that she is doing something like this but yet has frowned upon people who were trying to make me do things I didn't want in my wedding.  What's the difference??  My fiance just tells me to let it be and she'll get over it but I hate this feeling.  And I'm scared that if I go talk to her, it will just make things worse.  I don't know what to do.

Re: The "Step-father"....

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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited April 2011
    I would ignore her. She's trying to manipulate you. Hopefully, if she sees that you aren't giving her the reaction she craves, she'll stop.

    Sorry she's doing this to you. Adults, and especially parents, shouldn't behave like that. She should especially cut the crap if your stepfather is fine with this plan, seeing as how HE's the one that the plan actually concerns.

    If you have a good relationship with your stepdad and you can confide in him, maybe you could talk to him and ask him to tell her to knock it off? Or just say, "Stepdad is fine with this plan, so there's no issue here" and then end the conversation. If she wants to be a baby about it, let her.
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    Well, I don't really understand why you're upset about your step-father coming to your bridal shower. It's actually not all girl if your gay guy friends are going to be there. I don't care how flamboyant they are, they're still not girls. He sounds like he's pretty down to earth, so what does it matter if he's there? It doesn't sound like he's going to ruin anything.

    That being said, it sucks that your mom is being so passive aggressive with you. It sounds like she has some pretty antagonistic feelings towards your dad and that she's taking it out on you. Personally, I think the best thing you can do is call her on it, let her know that you feel she's being short and angry with you and let her know that it really hurts your feelings, and hopefully she'll come around. Seriously, if you're already this miserable, how could opening lines of communication make it worse?
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    What do you do to a child that throws their selves on the ground and throws a fit? We ignore them....Your step father is not your birth father....she needs to understand that....tough love baby, tough love.
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