Men are so cute....

tldh

Okay ladies.  How many of your husbands or FI's had an adjustment to make when moving in with you?  Mine had been on his own for about 20 years and still DH had to adjust to fabric softener going in the wash, old scratched up non-stick pans getting tossed and filling a sink with soapy water to do dishes instead of using a sponge dipped in water with a little dishwashing liquid.  The most recent one was him looking at the new comforter set on the bed and asking, "Why are there so many pillows...?"

suz62984

Oh man did we have this!!! DH and I have been together for 5.5 years and living together for 4.5. When we first moved in we took a four month "break" about 3 months into our living together. It was miserable. He slept in one room and I slept in the other(that was all our "break" consisted of haha). After fully getting back together and talking things out we realized that we just needed to communicate better. I had felt like I wasn't appreciated for cleaning up and taking care of the house but I didn't want to be "that girl" that nags him to clean up stuff. He was going through personal issues and my built up frustrations of not nagging were being taken out on him. After learning to communicate things got 180% better and still are. He even helped me straighten up the house last night without being asked   He still leaves coke cans everywhere and forgets to throw his dirty clothes in the laundry basket but i've accepted this

He says his biggest thing to get used to was the fact that all the sudden we had nice furniture. He was used to treating the furniture rough because he and his guy roommates had crap. He had to get used to using coasters and not scratching the wood when living with me.

megk8oz

One of the biggest things for him to get used to was I insist on washing everything before it's worn for the first time. Seriously, every article of clothing, whether it comes from a store or online, off the rack or in a sealed package, it must be washed before it can be worn, mainly because I hate when clothes smell or feel "like store/packaging".
 
He's the kind of guy that would put underwear on right out of the package and not get why it drove me absolutely nuts. He still doesn't really understand, but with all the recent "bed bug" stories, he's stopped teasing me about it, at least, lol.

gottahavashorti

Ditto PPs on "why do we need so many pillows," using coasters and washing clothes before they are worn.

Washing produce when cooking - even if you've peeled the skin off the onion, it still gets a rinse.

The concept of a laundry hamper.  He is still working on that one.

Candy wrappers, and more importantly beer bottle caps, not being tossed on the table, couch, into a pocket, or on the floor.  Especially bottle caps on the floor, as they always end up upside down and I always step on them.  It hurts.  We're still working on that one, too.

My not-so-rational need to organize everything.  It was no surprise that this extended to his belongings as well as I'd previously reorganized his entire room at home and insisted on unpacking half of his stuff in his dorm because it would otherwise live on the floor or in laundry bags for the enitre school year.

megk8oz

Oh, he also had to get to used "nice furniture", as well as learning to remind his friends that we weren't living in a bachelor pad where everything was just a mish mosh of stuff that was going to get thrown out eventually. In the beginning, they would come over, and the house would be messy after they left, which annoyed me enough, but when the furniture began to suffer, I had enough.

Within the first month of having our brand new dining room set (That I literally spent weeks picking out), the Best Man broke 2 of the chairs, because he just carelessly slid them back on our carpet. He did the exact same thing both times. The first time, I chalked it up to an accident, the second time he did it and wasn't really apologetic about it (He kind of said "it's the chair's fault"), I totally flipped out about it after he went home. DH wasn't really sure why I got so upset (He was mad about the chair, but not sure why I was so mad) ... as soon as I actually explained "Don't you get it? This is our home, and this is stuff that I worked hard on picking out because I was hoping we'd have it for years. Don't you want to take any pride in it?", he realized I was right-and felt really bad about it. He has made it a point to put a stop to any "reckless" treatment of our furniture since then.

Most of said friends have since gotten married or moved in with their girlfriends/FIs, so they've actually gotten better with it, just because they're "being trained" on "having nice things" as well.

ETA: I'm aware of how hypocritical I may sound considering my other thread. My house may be cluttered and disorganized, but dammit, my furniture is in great condition!

gottahavashorti

DH is also still getting used to my definition of 'clean.'  We can look at the same room, with me seeing an awful, cluttered mess with trash all over and he sees that as being perfectly clean and what do I mean that it is a wreck?  I keep having to say that while this would be an acceptable level of cleanliness for just him, this is not a bachelor pad.

suz62984

Does anyone else feel like we are talking about training a new puppy? Maybe it's just me. 

bablingbrooke

My poor DH.  I'm the slob, he's the neat freak.  We've been living together almost 3 years, married 15 months...I'm surprised he hasn't kicked me out yet.

Manwaithiel

I'm the clean freak. I like organization. FI loves leaving beer bottle caps everywhere. It. irks. me. Every time I've surprised him with a visit, he always starts the conversation with, "Please don't kill me, but the apartment is a mess because I didn't know you were coming." I always joke with, "Geeze honey, this is why we can't have nice things."

frogurt814

I'm the neat freak.  I don't understand how H can just sit around and not notice the giant mess.  The kitchen is always so messy.  Stuff in the sink waiting to go in the dishwasher, shoes by the door, bills/mail on the counter, dirt leaves on the floor.  It drives me nuts!  It's like he has some sort of filter, and all he sees is clean floors and counters, whereas me, after I clean, it's like I turn around and everything is messy again.

LD1970

Holy crow, yes!  No, it is NOT ok to leave beer bottles & other food garbage on the coffee table, and no, bottle caps are NOT to be left around as cat toys.  And please put dirty dishes IN the sink or dishwasher, not ON the counter next to the sink and above the dishwasher.  And no, you WON'T destroy my clothing (even the bras) if we do combined laundry and you do it sometimes too.

aerinpegadrak

We're both kind of slobs, though that's mainly just because cleaning takes a combination of time and energy that we simply don't have.  Part of the problem is that I'm a very visual thinker, so when things are put away, I very often can't remember where they are.  (This is why we had to buy a new GPS after the wedding, I'd "organized" the old one and we couldn't find it when we were getting ready to leave.)  So we're both sort of training each other.

gottahavashorti

I swear upside down bottle caps have a homing device in them that cause them to find the bottom of my bare feet 100% of the time.

megk8oz

I don't have the bottle cap problem, but there used to be a huge sunflower seed shell problem. DH loves them, and they used to end up everywhere no matter how careful he was (And, I honestly don't think he tried that hard to be careful, lol). He hasn't given up the seeds, but he has since learned to use the dust buster when he's done eating them.

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_men-cute?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:52567fec-c115-4405-9ac1-d2dbe9509591Post:8b2d49a1-43e2-4419-80be-aa5062ce671e">Re: Men are so cute....</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't have the bottle cap problem, but there used to be a huge sunflower seed shell problem. DH loves them, and they used to end up everywhere no matter how careful he was (And, I honestly don't think he tried that hard to be careful, lol). <strong>He hasn't given up the seeds</strong>, but he has since learned to use the dust buster when he's done eating them.
Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]

Meg, it sounds like you're talking about a drug addiction =)  I found it amusing.

My FI also loves to leave half consumed beer bottles all over the place. It's like he forgets that he opened one and opens another. It drives me crazy.

LD1970

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_men-cute?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:52567fec-c115-4405-9ac1-d2dbe9509591Post:8b2d49a1-43e2-4419-80be-aa5062ce671e">Re: Men are so cute....</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't have the bottle cap problem, but there used to be a huge sunflower seed shell problem. DH loves them, and they used to end up everywhere no matter how careful he was (And, I honestly don't think he tried that hard to be careful, lol). He hasn't given up the seeds, but he has since learned to use the dust buster when he's done eating them.
Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]
Ugh, just the other day I found Meg (the dog) crunching on some scattered pistachio shells.  I definitely need to introduce him to the dustbuster.<div>
</div><div>Oh, and we <strong>both </strong>need to adjust to where things are put away when they're put away and giving them a set "home."  I'll put stuff, say in kitchen drawers, where it makes sense to me.  Then I go to use it, and it's not there, and I'm gchatting him at work demanding to know where he moved things to... and half the time, he doesn't remember!  The worst was the dog's leash.  I had no idea where he "cleaned" it to, so I had to take her out in the backyard for a few days instead of for nice walks until I found it.  He didn't remember where he'd put it.  Sigh.</div>

LD1970

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_men-cute?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:52567fec-c115-4405-9ac1-d2dbe9509591Post:0c88871e-b528-4114-b8b5-612ce73f4bbb">Re: Men are so cute....</a>:
[QUOTE]I threw out all his orphan (socks with no mates) socks. He usually wears boots, and doesn't understand what difference it makes if the socks match or not because nobody sees them.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
I've had to confiscate all of his socks with holes as they return from the laundry.  Mine doesn't get the issue with that either, though he prefers they match.  Weirdo.

megk8oz

Re: socks, DH just buys the same exact socks in bulk (Like the giant bags of socks where it's 10 identical pairs in a bag? He'll buy like 3 bags of those at a time), because he apparently can't be bothered with trying to match. He keeps them all loose in a drawer and just randomly pulls 2 out every morning. I have to try very hard to just pretend that drawer does not exist, otherwise, my head might explode.

If I catch one with a hole in it when doing the laundry, I try to find another one that's in bad shape to toss along with it, so in my mind he has an even number of socks, even if in reality he doesn't (Again, I pretend the drawer doesn't exist, so I have no idea what condition the contents are in).

tldh

I just heard a new one.  A friend of his sent a new picture and it's obvious that the guy has put on several pounds.  DH's response was "marriage will do that to you."  After staring for a second I ask, "How?? By somebody insisting that actual meals be eaten instead of just rummaging around for something edible?"  His answer:"Yeah."

bdulli13

FI had to get used to two ply toilet paper. It blew his mind. Also, a whole lotta shoes. When we moved in together I came with two big boxes. We are moving to a new place this weekend, and now I have one medium sized box. He clearly won that battle. He's not really a slob, and always cleans up after himself, but it usually happens to be like, the next day or day after. The hardest part for me was his cat who sheds everywhere and won't stay off the furniture. It was good practice for children-- we made the cat an indoor/outdoor cat, and I built him a cushioned window seat so he could have a fluffy soft place to watch the birds that was not the back of my expensive armchair. Compromise ;-)

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_men-cute?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:52567fec-c115-4405-9ac1-d2dbe9509591Post:3b0de41c-37ce-4501-80ca-9b5dcced463b">Re: Men are so cute....</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>FI had to get used to two ply toilet paper. It blew his mind.</strong>Also, a whole lotta shoes. When we moved in together I came with two big boxes. We are moving to a new place this weekend, and now I have one medium sized box. He clearly won that battle. He's not really a slob, and always cleans up after himself, but it usually happens to be like, the next day or day after. The hardest part for me was his cat who sheds everywhere and won't stay off the furniture. It was good practice for children-- we made the cat an indoor/outdoor cat, and I built him a cushioned window seat so he could have a fluffy soft place to watch the birds that was not the back of my expensive armchair. Compromise ;-)
Posted by bdulli13[/QUOTE]

I had forgotten about this one.  The other thing I'm remembering is that when he vacuumed, it was aiming the extension at whatever he could see with the naked eye.  The first time I vacuumed, I had to empty the canister halfway through.

bdulli13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_men-cute?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:52567fec-c115-4405-9ac1-d2dbe9509591Post:e7c0dae1-46f5-4890-83c8-eec5e35a944f">Re: Men are so cute....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Men are so cute.... : I had forgotten about this one.  The other thing I'm remembering is that when he vacuumed, it was aiming the extension at whatever he could see with the naked eye.  The first time I vacuumed, I had to empty the canister halfway through.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

LMAO funniest story-- my fiance is seven years older than I am, and had been living on his own as a bachelor for about 12 years. When I came to his apartment for the first time it was IMMACULATE, and I was soooo impressed. He later confessed that he had hired a cleaning service when we started dating, because he knew I would visit there eventually, and it took them two hours to clean his tiny one bedroom apartment (he's not a slob, he was just a boy-- no vacuuming, no window washing, no dusting unless it impaired his picture quality on the television). I made him keep the cleaning service when we moved in together, hehehe. It was a compromise for the cat hair.