Wedding Party HELP!

mrslyons11

My fiancé and I have several people that we would like in our wedding party. We originally decided on 7 on each side. So, since I am a girl I got excited and asked all of my girls to be in the wedding. Now the more we discuss our budget and people that cannot be in the wedding we’d rather only have a few people in it rather than exclude only a few people. My question is, is it too late or is there a polite way to do this? I feel so conflicted.

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:55aa22b6-4f20-48c1-87dc-4ae15889ce15Post:19779237-a73d-459d-8723-0ff13df766b3">Wedding Party HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiancé and I have several people that we would like in our wedding party. We originally decided on 7 on each side. So, since I am a girl I got excited and asked all of my girls to be in the wedding. Now the more we discuss our budget and people that cannot be in the wedding we’d rather only have a few people in it rather than exclude only a few people. My question is, is it too late or is there a polite way to do this? I feel so conflicted.
Posted by mrslyons11[/QUOTE]

trix1223

Nope. Sorry.  You made a commitment to those you asked to have them in your WP.  You need to honor that commitment.

aerinpegadrak

We jumped the gun and asked 11 people to stand up for us, originally intending about 150 guests.  Then the funding went all to hell and we seriously considered eloping, but I couldn't do that to my friends.  "I love you and I couldn't imagine getting married without you.  Just kidding!  Guess I could imagine it."  We ended up scaling way back, and our WP and their spouses comprised half the guest list.  I wouldn't have done it any other way.

If it's a budget issue, there are ways around that.  Do a very simple rehearsal dinner, have people drive themselves or carpool rather than getting a limo, do non-floral bouquets or very simple, in-season flowers, get their gifts on sales or eBay, let them come up with their own hair, makeup, shoes, accessories, etc.  A large WP doesn't have to cost you a fortune, you just have to get creative.

honeybee724

No.  Just no.

bablingbrooke

Am I the only one who would be okay with a friend not having a WP after all?  I would understand if they said, "You know what, we had big plans but then reality set in and we need to scale back significantly, so we've decided to not have a WP."  Life happens, especially in this economy.  My feelings wouldn't be hurt.

Saying, "Reality set in and now we're only having 3 people on each side to save money and guess what, you're not one of them!" is quite another story.

frogurt814

Brooke, I agree.  I would probably be sad if a friend said they decided to do away with a WP all together, but I would understand.  However, I would be really hurt if they said they were just scaling back the WP, and I didn't make the cut.

loop0406

You shouldn't back out now.

Why is your budget affected by WP ?

Most of those in WP purchase their own attire, makeup, hair, you don't have to pay for those things, a small gift for each one of them would be nice though.

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:55aa22b6-4f20-48c1-87dc-4ae15889ce15Post:8defd935-1187-4cd2-bb9b-cf00fc749514">Re: Wedding Party HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]You shouldn't back out now. Why is your budget affected by WP ? Most of those in WP purchase their own attire, makeup, hair, you don't have to pay for those things, a small gift for each one of them would be nice though.
Posted by loop0406[/QUOTE]

This is a good point. Would those that you cut from your WP still be invited guests? (I'm not advocating that at all, just trying to make a point) If so, then cutting them from the WP isn't really saving you money because you'd still have to feed them. Like PP said, they buy the dress, don't require specific shoes or professional hair/makeup. You can get them each small personal gifts (they'd probably understand the small gift seeing as how there's so many of them). It doesn't have to cost you anything really to have them in the WP versus invited guests.

mbcdefg

The additional costs for you would be flowers, but you can get simple flowers to keep costs down (I did gerbera daisies for the bridal party and those were fairly inexpensive); plus a gift for each bridal party member (but you don't need to go nuts on that, as long as you get each person something heartfelt that they will individually enjoy).

And you don't need to do a limo at all, if you want to save money. You will need to feed them and their dates at the rehearsal dinner, but that doesn't need to be an extravagant meal (we did pizza and that went over very well).

megk8oz

I agree with Brooke, if I were asked to be a BM, and then after the fact the bride said "Oh, we've scrapped the WP, we're only having a Best Man and MOH now", as long as I hadn't purchased the dress already, I'd be fine with it.  I don't know if anybody else would feel this way, but I'd also be pretty understanding (Again, barring the dress already being purchased) if the couple decided to keep the WP "siblings/family" only. But if cuts were made where some friends were picked over others, I'd feel weird about it (Regardless of which side of the cut I fell on).

That being said, if you're going to be choosing some friends and cutting others, you risk damaging the friendships. Not a risk worth taking in most cases. Weddings are happy events that shouldn't strain people's relationships.

Like PP suggested, just try to cut corners with the RD and other WP expenses, such as let them provide their own transportation instead of renting limos, let them do whatever they want for hair and nails (As dictating such things means you should pay for them), and see if you can cheap out a bit on the flowers. Good luck!

palmettogirl924

It is too late to CUT the WP. If you were to do away with it altogether that would be fine, but since you didn't you're going to have to find a way to make it work! Don't have expensive flowers, and do inexpensive gifts, or DIY gifts. You can make cute jewlery for cheap! I would be hurt if I was cut from a wedding party...but if you did away with it I would understand.

mrslyons11

Thanks for all the feedback! I think I panicked for a little bit but we discussed it and we’re going to keep it as is. We decided that everyone is equally as important and it really wont hurt our budget to keep them in it.