Wedding Party
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Bridesmaid Dilemma!

My friend is getting married in August and she asked her other friend for about 7 years to be one of her bridesmaid she said yes.  Now a few months later they are having problems in their realationship and now she's afarid that she needs to keep her happy because she is in her wedding.  If their friendship ends before her wedding she is afraid that the wedding party will be uneven since her friend has already ordered and paid for the dress. 

Re: Bridesmaid Dilemma!

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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    What bad thing would possibly happen if the wedding party is uneven?
    image
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    Because she just has 1 Bridesmaid and 1 MOH...and she's trying to keep it as Traditional as possible.  And if her Bridesmaid isn't in it she's afraid that she won't beable to get another dress in time for her wedding....????

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    It's not okay to replace bridesmaids.  It sends a poor message to both the replacement and the replaced.

    It's okay to have uneven sides.  No one will care.

    Is the friendship really that bad that she is worried about the friend dropping out?
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker

    Why makes it "traditional" to have an even wedding party? Does that mean that anyone who's had an uneven wedding party (and it's probably more people than you think, just look at some bios on this board) "untraditional" or bad in some way? (Yes, I had an even wedding party, but it just happened to work out that way.)

    And why would she replace someone who dropped out? How would the new person feel? "You weren't close enough to me to be a bridesmaid in the first round, but now that people have dropped out and I need stand-ins, you can join us" ... doesn't that sound awful?

    Tell your friend to work on repairing the friendship if she wants to stay on good terms with this girl. If not, and/or if the girl drops out anyway, tell her to just deal with it. She doesn't need even sides and she doesn't even need bridesmaids at all. It's an honor for close friends, not a Broadway musical where certain roles need to be filled and understudies can be brought in if the "best" people aren't able to make it.

    image
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    Uneven sides are FINE. 

    And I would seriously advise your friend not to replace the girl if she does drop out...it sends a crappy message to whomever she asks to replace her - if the other person who was so important to her she would have asked her originally to be in the BP.  This is the problem with placing a higher importance on arbitrary numbers over asking good friends whom you otherwise would love to have be in the BP.  I'd hate to know I left out a dear friend because I felt like I need to only have 3 girls on my side to match a groom who had 3 people on his side. Silly.
    The Bump ate my signature. DD - Apr 2011 DS - expected June 2013
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    jagore08jagore08 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    edited May 2010
    [QUOTE]<span style="font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">My friend is getting married in August and she asked her other friend for about 7 years to be one of her bridesmaid she said yes.  Now a few months later they are having problems in their realationship and now she's afarid that she needs to keep her happy because she is in her wedding.  If their friendship ends before her wedding she is <font size="3" style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;"><font style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" color="#000000"><font face="Consolas" style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">afraid </font></font></font>that the wedding party will be uneven since her friend has already ordered and paid for the dress. [/QUOTE]</span><div><font size="3" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">
    </span></font></div><div><font size="3" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">[QUOTE]Because she just has 1 Bridesmaid and 1 MOH...and she's trying to keep it as Traditional as possible.  And if her Bridesmaid isn't in it she's afraid that she won't beable to get another dress in time for her wedding....????[/QUOTE]</span></font></div><div><font size="3" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">
    </span></font></div><div><font size="3" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">It's not traditional to have even sides, it's traditional to have the people that mean the most to you and support you to be standing up by your side.  I<strong>t's about quality not quantity.</strong></span></font></div><div><font size="3" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">
    </span></font></div><div><font size="3" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">And no, she shouldn't replace her.  If she drops out of the wedding because of their relationship then she's out.  No one should fill that space just for even numbers.  How would the "replacement BM" feel knowing she's replacing someone?  Knowing she's a backup, a second choice?  It's kind of shiiiity.</span></font></div>
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    Also, if your friend wants to REALLY be "traditional," she should have the bridesmaids wear the exact same bridal gown as she is.

    The reason being - bridesmaids and groomsmen were originally intended to act as decoys, so that evil spirits or invadors wouldn't be able to recognize the real bride/groom and carry them away. So everyone dressed identically and everyone was paired off to confuse the unwelcome guests.

    So if your friend really wants to be "traditional," even if it means treating her friends like props, then she shouldn't halfass it and she should buy each BM a copy of her bridal gown. Do it the right way or don't do it at all.
    image
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    Things that I do not understand:

    1. Why your friend cares more about numbers and "traditional" than about people.
    2. Why you are asking this question instead of her.

    And I had a coffee this morning, so I don't think it's just me being slow.
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    Holy hell batman...not uneven sides?!?!
    Anniversary
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    Seriously this is not your problem - and not even a problem to have uneven sides.  What is the beef between the two girls?
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