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Hotel for Bridal Party

My soon to be brother in law refuses to stay at the hotel where the ENTIRE bridal party will be for our wedding.  I tried to reason with him and ask him what the issue was as to why he can't pay for it and if we could help.  The guy is 30 years old with a stable job so I'm not sure why he wouldn't want to be with his brother.

I feel like he's insulted both my fiance and I- do I have a right to be angry?

Disappointed in NYC

Re: Hotel for Bridal Party

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_hotel-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:5dcb18e0-511b-4cc0-8e23-9aae3eeaef35Post:8124c815-4811-4fc5-882a-f817d256baef">Hotel for Bridal Party</a>:
    [QUOTE] do I have a right to be angry? Disappointed in NYC
    Posted by cquinn27[/QUOTE]

    No. People can spend their money however they damn well please. If your regular attitude is similar to how you're reacting to this, maybe he just doesn't want to spend any more time with you that day than he actually has to.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
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    You can feel how you'd like, but I don't understand why it's a big deal where he stays at all.  As long as he shows up to the day of activities, why does it matter where he sleeps?
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    It shouldn't matter to you if he spends the night in the hotel or drunk in a dumpster with a hooker, it's his business and of no concern to you where he sleeps.  (Well, something extreme as that SHOULD concern you, but for different reasons...)
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

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    The guy is 30 years old - old enough to decide on his own where to sleep.  If he stays at a different hotel or at home if he lives nearby, it's not going to screw anything up.
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    How the heck does it affect you if he doesn't stay at the hotel?

    Stop whining and relax.
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    I understand why you would be upset. I would want all of my friends and family in one place to enjoy the entire day and all of the experiences it encompasses.  If some people are seperated it leaves them out of the "good times" and it makes coordinating the day difficult.

    However, his decision to be difficult is his decision, I would not let it bother you or your fiance. He is missing out and you cannot control his choice. I would charge forward with the attitude that you will enjoy your day to its fullest.

    I do think it was nice of you guys to offer to help him!

    Enjoy your day!

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    [QUOTE]I would want all of my friends and family in one place to enjoy the entire day and all of the experiences it encompasses.  If some people are seperated it leaves them out of the "good times" and it makes coordinating the day difficult. However, his decision to be difficult is his decision, I would not let it bother you or your fiance.
    Posted by thelou[/QUOTE]
    If FI and I were to experience the entire day with the whole WP, inclusive of the morning, you better bet it would not contribute to "good times" because we both tend to be cranky and miserable in the morning.  I do much better if I am told "meet us at X spot at 10:30 am" rather than tossing and turning in a hotel room full of people, some of whom expect me to converse while I walk around like a zombie getting ready.

    Some people just aren't morning people, run on a slightly different sleeping schedule or have difficulty sleeping in a shared room.  He's really not being difficult as long as he shows up where he needs to be and is on time.
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    thelou, I don't think where the person sleeps needs to have anything to do with the 'day of' activities.

    I was a BM in a wedding three months ago.  I stayed at a hotel with DH but the bride and the two MsOH stayed together the night before the wedding.  We were still together ALL day on the wedding day. 
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    How does it make it difficult to coordinate the day?  If he's staying elsewhere you call him and say "Be at the church at 3 for photos."  If you saw him instead at the continental breakfast the morning of you'd say "Be at the church at 3 for photos."   It makes absolutely no difference.

    Brides: Trying to micromanage everyone and everything only causes YOU problems and makes NOTHING easier.  Just let go a bit.  True friends won't let you down, but if you treat them like they can't be trusted it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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    He's 30 years old. That is old enough to choose his own hotel.

    As PPs have said, as long as he shows up to everything, I see no reason that where he sleeps makes any difference. Unless you were planning on braiding each other's hair and having a 3am pillow fight?
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