venting. maybe I'm over reacting?

whateverdontmatter

Yesterday my cousin who is one of my bridesmaids and the mother to my flower girl, posted pictures on her daughter in the dress I bought for her to wear in my wedding on Face book. This was all done a few hours after my mom and I ask her not to let daughter wear it until the wedding and not to post pictures of any of the dresses or wedding stuff online until after the wedding.  I am trying to calm down before I talk to her as I do not want to say something I will regret later. Maybe I am over reacting. Should let it go and not say anything to her about it?

Licia&Wayne

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_venting-maybe-im-over-reacting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:5e47ac7b-43f9-4b00-a961-3f86039193dePost:bb058468-7c03-4aac-a48d-2ad94c396cac">venting. maybe I'm over reacting?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yesterday my cousin who is one of my bridesmaids and the mother to my flower girl, posted pictures on her daughter in the dress I bought for her to wear in my wedding on Face book. This was all done a few hours after my mom and I ask her not to let daughter wear it until the wedding and not to post pictures of any of the dresses or wedding stuff online until after the wedding.  I am trying to calm down before I talk to her as I do not want to say something I will regret later. Maybe I am over reacting. Should let it go and not say anything to her about it?
Posted by whateverdontmatter[/QUOTE]

Let it go.

Were they pictures of the little girl rolling in mud in her dress? No? Was she cutting holes in the dress in these pictures? No?

 Then forget about it. What are you worried can happen by posting pictures of a little girl in a  flowergirl dress on Facebook? Chances are her mother was just trying to show off her daughter in a pretty dress. There's no reason to be mad about it. I wouldn't say anything if I were you. Take a big deep breath and move on.

MairePoppy

You are over reacting. Unless you are a high profile political figure or celebrity, there is no need to guard your wedding details as though they are state secrets. Let it go or you'll end up looking silly.

loop0406

Let it go, they're pictures of her so it's not a big deal.

emilyinchile

I think it's silly that you made the request in the first place, but if she agreed to that then I think it's shady of her to have gone back on her word. Again, I don't think it's a big deal, but if you really care, I'd just ask if she minds taking that album down until after your wedding.

trix1223

Well, I think you're overreacting.  I think the original request was a little over the top, and unless the little girl was fingerpainting while wearing the dress. I don't see the big deal in her posing for a couple of photos in it.

This is so not a big deal.  I'd let it go.

suz62984

It does suck that you asked her not too and then she immediately turned around and did it. She knew about your stance on this and just didn't care. For that I would be a little ticked off but just let it go. She probably thought her daughter just looked too cute to not post a picture of. It really isn't a big deal when you think about it. Her facebook friends will not be your exact guest list. You may have 8 people in common that will be attending the wedding. Besides, nobody pays attention to the flower girl's dress anyways...unless she's throwing a tantrum, running around crying, and pulling the dress over her head all at the same time. (yeah i've actually seen this and no I will not be having children in my wedding for this reason).

whateverdontmatter

The pictures were of her daughter in the dress at a family get together. And most of the people on her fb are either family or friends that we have in common. If it was just a picture of her daughter trying the dress on I don't think it would have bugged me so much.

However I'm sure you all are right and I am over reacting. Which is why I didn't say anything to her. Thanks so much for all your replies. Sometimes it truly helps to be toldI'm just being silly.

Licia&Wayne

Yay! Way to go, OP.

Yes, it kind of sucks that for whatever reason she went back on her word to you, but I'm glad that you're recognizing it isn't worth the drama.

suz62984

I agree with Licia. Good for you in letting this go but I wouldn't put a lot of trust in her. My biggest pet peeve: do what you say you will do, don't promise me things you can't, or won't, deliver on.

jagore08

Let it go.  It's not going to cause you and your FI to not get married so it's not worth stressing over and causing a rift between you and your friend.

PeonyPrincesskdd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_venting-maybe-im-over-reacting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:5e47ac7b-43f9-4b00-a961-3f86039193dePost:bb058468-7c03-4aac-a48d-2ad94c396cac">venting. maybe I'm over reacting?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yesterday my cousin who is one of my bridesmaids and the mother to my flower girl, posted pictures on her daughter in the dress I bought for her to wear in my wedding on Face book. This was all done a few hours after my mom and I ask her not to let daughter wear it until the wedding and not to post pictures of any of the dresses or wedding stuff online until after the wedding.  I am trying to calm down before I talk to her as I do not want to say something I will regret later. Maybe I am over reacting. Should let it go and not say anything to her about it?
Posted by whateverdontmatter[/QUOTE]


Do you think that maybe she had her wear is so she can try it on to see how it fits?  As a mother myself, I wouldn't let my 3 year old daughter prance around and play in the dress soo I am assuming that this mother had her daughter wear it to size purposes only and to see how the dress felt.  I know I am glad I had my daugher try on her flower girl dress for size purposes (we had to keep ordering different sizes until we got it just right) and also because the straps were itchy and making her uncomfortable so we didn't get that dress. 

Also, I don't see any reason at all why she shouldn't post pictures of the dress.   The brides dress is the big surprise from everyone and the FI.  The flower girls dress is not such a big deal, so I would have to say yes you are overeacting.

PeonyPrincesskdd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_venting-maybe-im-over-reacting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:5e47ac7b-43f9-4b00-a961-3f86039193dePost:5b20c241-c5d5-474c-81ce-1d185907a22f">Re: venting. maybe I'm over reacting?</a>:
[QUOTE]The pictures were of her daughter in the dress at a family get together. And most of the people on her fb are either family or friends that we have in common. If it was just a picture of her daughter trying the dress on I don't think it would have bugged me so much. However I'm sure you all are right and I am over reacting. Which is why I didn't say anything to her. Thanks so much for all your replies. Sometimes it truly helps to be toldI'm just being silly. =)
Posted by whateverdontmatter[/QUOTE]

She was probably so eager and excited to show everyone the dress so she put it on her real quick to show everyone and then take it off.  I would probably do the same thing.  I would be so proud and happy about the dress for my little girl that I would want to show everyone, because I would be so excited to see my little 3 year old dress up like a pretty princess.

CTGirl30

I can see how you'd be irritated if she said she wouldn't post any photos of wedding stuff before your wedding but then did, but I certainly don't think this merits saying anything to her.

I'm guessing she's a proud mom and wanted some photos of her little girl looking pretty in her dress. The whole wedding will not be ruined now that people have previewed the FG dress (in the big picture, I don't think anyone is going to care very much, honestly.) If it were leaking photos of YOUR dress, on the other hand, you'd have a right to be really pissed off. This is a case of it's best to let it go - I'm glad to see you're not going to say anything.

banana468

I can sort of see the irritation.  But if something happens to the dress, it's on mom to fix the issue and not you.  Let it go.

skippylouwho

If you paid for the dress and she wore it to another family gathering before your wedding  and after you'd asked the mother not to post pictures or let her wear it - I'd be mad too.

I don't know whether I'd say something but I'd be upset too. I guess I probably would because you don't know if she'll let her wear it to yet another event and possibly ruin the dress.

bablingbrooke

It's not a crime for a mom to want to get more than one use out of a fancy outfit for a kid who will grow out of it in three months.  Forbidding photos was silly--people won't remember that this was the FG dress.  Good that you're letting it go.

mbcdefg

I can understand being pissed if you specifically asked her not to post photos and she did it anyway (although, for what it's worth, I think that's a pretty silly request in the first place). Because she just ignored you.

However, I agree with PPs that it is not something to confront her over. Good for you for letting it go.

aerinpegadrak

I'm guessing she probably knew that she'd have to repair or replace the dress if it got stained or damaged, and was willing to take the risk.  It's not a big deal, no one's really going to care what the FG dress looks like or remember it from the pictures.