Wedding Party
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Sister-In-Law/Wedding Party

Hi,
My sister in law and I are not very close.. and my fiancé seems to always disagree with her.. So they don't really get along either.. Do I have to put her in the wedding party? I'm scared that my fiancé's mom will be disappointed if I don't!

Re: Sister-In-Law/Wedding Party

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    You don't have to put anyone in your WP that you don't want to.  However, if you are concerned about what FI's family will feel, have you asked your FI what he thinks? 

    If he wants her to be involved, she could always be a groomswoman and stand on his side.  In general, I think it's a nice gesture to invite FSILs to be bridesmaids, but it's not required.
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    You don't HAVE to include her, no. Talk to your FI and see what he wants to do. He should get the final say.

    If he wants her included, other options are to have her as a groomswoman (wear a black dress and stand with the groomsmen) or ask her to do a reading.

    Talk to FI about his family dynamic. If his is the type of family that'll start World War III if all siblings are not in the wedding party, and if this is the type of thing that they'll still be harassing you two about at Thanksgiving 2016, then it might be best to just suck it up and ask her to be a bridesmaid. Don't forget that she will be your family for a long, LONG time after the wedding, so dealing with her for one day out of your life might be worth avoiding years and years of headaches from your in-laws.

    All she has to do is get the dress and stand there in the ceremony ... she isn't required to plan or attend pre-wedding parties or events, she isn't required to help you plan the wedding, and you don't need to be her buddy. At the bare minimum, you just need to contact her about her dress budget and picking the dress, and give her the info on where to be on the wedding day at what time. That's really all she needs to do. Beyond that, you could ignore her if you wanted to.

    If you decide not to have her in the bridal party (which is fine), make sure your FI stands behind you 100% if his family flips out. Ideally, HE should be taking the blame, since it's his sister ... it's not fair for you to shoulder their pissy attitudes just because you are the woman and so is your FSIL. If your FI will not defend you if his family gives you flack over this, then you have a BIG problem and need to talk to him about it before you even think of marrying him.
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    No, you don't have to.  Your BMs should be the people who are closest to you.  If that doesn't include your FSIL, you don't have to include her.  However, it's generally a nice gesture and it might be worth it to avoid family drama.
    Planning Our Wedding - Updated 04/11/11
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    "If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
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    I agree with all the PP's. My SIL was not in the BP. She is 8 years younger than DH and they are not super close, so he didn't mind either way and left it up to me. Granted she didn't even want to be in the BP because she didn't want to wear a dress or have people looking at her. It avoided the drama. If she had wanted to be in it, MIL would have had issues if I didn't ask her, which (not to sound mean because I promise im not, we just were not having a large BP) I wasn't going to do anyway. I would talk with FI and discuss how each option would play out.
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    Only you know the dynamic of your family.  And if you don't, then ask your FI.  In some families it is a HUGE and very public slight to leave a sibling out of a WP.  In some~meh, no big deal.

    If this is going to cause a problem with your new family as you begin married life, then I say ask her.  Or your FI can include her on his side.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    No and you shouldn't if you aren't close. To keep the peace maybe you could ask her to do a reading.
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