A very dear friend of mine who was my best friend in high school has assumed that she will be my maid of honor without me asking her. She then went on to say that she did not want to wear the color I have chosen for the bridesmaids' dresses and that as maid of honor she could wear something different. Then she suggested that we set it up so that she will be the one who catches the bouquet at the wedding and told me I will not be allowed a stripper at my bachelorette party because it would make her uncomfortable (after she asked me when I was going to throw it...). She got upset with me when I told her I was considering having two maids of honor and basically dismissed the idea and is a self-proclaimed "bridesmaid-zilla".
I have no idea what to do. She is a very good friend of mine, but since she moved far away for school we have drifted some, so we are in an awkward place between "you're my best friend" and "I really don't know anything about your life now". I'm trying really hard not to be a bride-zilla and tell her that this is supposed to be my big day, but I feel like she's trying to make it about herself. At this point, it's so discouraging to talk to her about wedding stuff, that I'm not really sure I even want her in the wedding party, but she's already claimed maid of honor. I'm just really at a loss for how to approach the situation. I don't want to lose her friendship, but I want the process of planning my wedding to be fun and I want my bridesmaids to be invovled in a good, happy way (whether they choose to be super involved in planning or not). What should I do?