Young Ring Bearer

ncorbatta · November 2010

What are you thoughts on having a ring bearer that is a year and 8 months? Is this way too young? Also, we won't be having a flower girl. Our wedding is an adult only wedding but I wanted to include our only nephew and young family member.

What do you suggest?

banana468 · November 2010

I highly recommend not having him in the wedding. If you do opt for it, it should be in name only but not actually asking him to do a thing.

I follow the opinion of a few others - unless the person is old enough to understand what he or she is to do, he shouldn't be in the wedding.

bablingbrooke · November 2010

Way too young. He not only will be too young to understand what's going on, he probably wouldn't be able to do it unassisted; most 20 month old kids couldn't 1) comprehend the instruction, or 2) be able to walk down an aisle amongst adult strangers without some sort of meltdown. The lack of a FG has no bearing on this. Also bear in mind that kids that age are really temperamental and you've got about an even chance of him not being able to do it at all (throwing a tantrum, refusing to hold the pillow, running to mom, etc.).

It isn't much fun for his parents, either, since they can't come and go as necessary if the kid isn't handling the wedding well...and don't say it won't happen--my SIL missed most of our wedding because she was having to take our then-two-year-old nephew (who wasn't RB) outside for walks, snacks, etc. They'd have to arrive early, sit for photos, etc. Trying to keep a little kid together through all that is asking a lot.

tldh · November 2010

ditto Brooke.

emilykathleen511 · November 2010

I think it is fine to list him in the program as such, but I wouldn't have him actually do anything.

aerinpegadrak · November 2010

Way too young. I can understand wanting to give him a title to justify his invitation when other kids are being excluded, but it's kind of unrealistic to expect him to actually DO anything at the wedding. Very close family is often an exception to the no-kid rule, and I doubt any of your guests would make a fuss if you invited him.

kimp67 · November 2010

Our rb will be just over 2 for our wedding. But, both of his parents are in the wedding & one set of grandparents are guests. He will carry a pillow, but will walk up the aisle with mom or dad & uncle FI if need be. Or, if he doesn't want to walk at all he can sit with grandma. It's all going to depend on the mood he's in that day.