Wedding Party

Bridesmaid Dilemma... Please Everyone Help! What do I do??

Hey Lovely Brides to Be! I need your input. I have a serious dilemma – and we do not know how to handle it. My Fiance’s Sister (and her hubby)  did not even congratulate us or say a word to us about our engagement. Personally I am not petty, a facebook post or email would have been sufficient. Even when we were face to face with her  - not a word to me. I am always so nice to her, Whenever I see her I ask her how she is doing , compliment her on her appearance or tell her how beautiful her kids are etc….My Fiance and I  always watch her kids (whom are so cute and amazing) . We shower them with gifts and love them to pieces.  She has always been pretty cold to me. I really did not think or her being an option as a bridesmaid – and now even more so set against it. Here’s where the story gets difficult:  2 and a half years ago she was engaged and asked my Fiance to be in their wedding over the phone. We had just started dating and  I told him he should do it – because it was his SISTER!!  He called her back and sad “WE would participate in their wedding” I was shocked since I only met her 2 times and she barely spoke to me?? I sucked it up and participated . It was nice – but she just asked me because she needed to “even out the bridesmaids” What do I do ? I am not very close to her – Neither is my Fiance. I sincerely do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But in the same respect we feel almost obligated. Please advise!

Re: Bridesmaid Dilemma... Please Everyone Help! What do I do??

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-dilemma-please-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:67558b45-ccab-4868-80fc-2ea5c5e483dcPost:456dd8a3-2774-42f5-a6c9-38f0cc518d3d">Re: Bridesmaid Dilemma... Please Everyone Help! What do I do??</a>:
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  • Weddings do not have to be reciprocal. If she doesn't really like you, she may not want to be in your wedding anyway. I wouldn't ask her, if your fi feels she should be included, she can stand on his side.
  • Thanks for all of your input ladies....

    Just to clear things up - My Fiance and his sister are not very close or chummy at all. When she asked him to be in her wedding ,She called him up (last minute)and kind of asked him over the phone - it was very akward... she was like well if you want to be in our wedding you let me know...... She doesn't really have friends so when he said yes she was like can your girlfriend be a BM? . It was not really to be nice - I think it was because she didn't have an even number.
  • I don't know about not including her- this has already been said- but family is forever.  It would be better to have her then to make the relationship worse.  I mean asking her to be a BM, doesnt really effect you that much.  Yeah- she'll be in your pictures, but other than that - what does it really matter down the road?  It would be worse to deal with her possible resentment latter than an extra BM in your pictures.  At least asking her puts the ball in her court- if she really doesnt want to do it, she'll come up with some excuse.
  • Definitely................NO!!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT have her in your Wedding. It is YOUR day and that alone. You get to choose what you want your day to be like and who it will involve. no need for unneccessary drama on your big day. :) Chin up! It'll all be okay!
    12/17/86 - "Once upon a time...." 10/08/11 - "Happily ever after..." imageimageWedding Countdown Ticker White Knot Follow Me on Pinterest
  • I wouldn't include her... you should have those that are happy for you and those that mean the most... exclude her and keep it moving
  • How is your relationship with your FMIL?  I would try to broach the subject with her.  In many families, you'd be totally fine not asking her, and it wouldn't be an issue.  But if it is one of those families where everyone gets all bent out of shape if siblings aren't included?  You may want to give that some weight in making this decision.  You don't want to do something that will have consequences outside of your wedding.

    If you do end up asking her to be on either side, don't expect her to do anything besides stand there at the ceremony.
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