I don't even know where to begin really. Sorry this may be long.
I recently had a friend call and ask me why she wasn't a bridesmaid.
Now some backround:
We used to be super close, and she considers me a best friend. She moved away, and decided she wouldn't really keep in touch and this is just how it's been for the past two years. I call her, I text her, I make arrangements to go visit her, and I never get a call back. I still love the girl and get excited when I get to see her or talk to her but I just felt like I wasn't important enough to her.
Hence why I made the decision to not have her as a bridesmaid. Although, I'm not excluding her from any wedding related activities she may want to go to either.
Fastforward:
She called me saying she was hurt and upset and was wondering if our friendship was over. I tried the "I hope you respect my decision, I don't want to lose you as a friend, and it still means a lot to me for you to be there." She wanted more of an explanation. So I kind of told her how I felt with doing my best to not hurt her feelings.
We ended the conversation with her telling me that she was still hurt but she understood exactly why I made my decision the way I did, and she was going to work hard on being a better friend.
Would you have done things differently? It's not easy to give people the cookie cutter answer and expect them to take it and leave.
Any advice on how to proceed with my friendship with her? I'm not going to make her a bm. One, I don't want her to feel like a second choice, and two, I made my decision for a reason.
