BP Gifts...kinda

nightmare_of_beauty

I am majorly struggling with BP gifts. FI and I cannot afford what we were orginally going to do...but the reason is because we paid for all the girls dresses (weddingbee.com) and we put $85 towards each groomsmen tux so that they owe about $100 (started as 35 because FI added in hats and we paid completely for the hats, then raised it to 85 each so the 50 deposit was paid for all of them).

I've talked to my mom and she says I shouldn't feel required to get them anything since I helped them. #1 It's always said wedding things aren't gifts. #2 Ok for the girls since we paid for them entirely (like I said weddingbee.com wasn't too expensive, got lucky with girls about the same as my girls, we had to order 1 extra which we ended up making different for MOH) but what about the guys? They still have to pay for part of it. Girls are paying for own hair/make-up/shoes, but I'm not requiring any of that, I told them to do what makes them comfortable.

Advice?

banana468

I'd get each BM a small gift of thanks.  Remember, it doesn't need to be pricey and they don't need to be the same.  Even a book or a movie can be a lovely gift.

quotequeen

I agree with banana.  FI and I are paying for our WP attire, and will still be getting them gifts.

stina93446

You should get them something in addition to the attire, but it can be small. 

aerinpegadrak

Check eBay.  I'm sure you could find each attendant a nice thoughtful gift that they'll appreciate for $10 or less.  Maybe a DVD, a book, a movie poster, jewelry (not for the wedding), random memorabilia, stuff like that.  I seem to recall that StageManager paid for her attendants' attire, and got them each a favorite DVD in addition.

mgietler76

Why not write personal letters to each attendant that lets them know how much you appreciate them and how grateful you are to have them in your lives. . . . etc. This is what I am doing in addition to gifts.

gottahavashorti

It's great that you covered a lot of their expenses, but I think gifts are a thank you for being in the wedding and being one of your closest friends rather than to make up for what they've spent - otherwise, people might as well always make WP attire part of their budget and nix the gifts. 

That said, the gifts absolutely don't need to be something large.  Ours were relatively inexpensive because it's what we could afford.  Look for things within your budget that each member of your WP would appreciate, and shop for deals if needed.

bablingbrooke

I would rather have my attire paid for than a gift, personally.  If you said, "I'm buying your BM dress!" I wouldn't miss a gift at all.

nightmare_of_beauty

Thanks ladies! You are always awesome