Wedding Party

Pregnant bridesmaid drama... need perspective!

One of my bridesmaids, who is my brother's fiancee, is pregnant. I knew this when I asked her to be in the wedding party in February. When we ordered dresses at David's Bridal, the associates there helped her pick a dress they felt would fit her at the time of my wedding. Well... it didn't. And she only just tried it on again 23 days before the wedding.

I called several David's Bridals when she told me, found a couple of places that said they could help her by getting her a bigger size and altering down to fit her, but she refused, saying she didn't feel up to traveling. Fine. I looked up a few maternity dresses in the right color and e-mailed her the links. She tells me she would "look a hot mess" and "like I'm 50 or something" in the dresses I picked. When I told her she was being offensive, she said "I'm just going to get a dress and if you don't like it I won't be in the wedding."

I said it had to be blue, and I very strongly preferred a long dress with straps. She found a blue dress... at David's Bridal... that was far too big and is being altered down for her. And all of this is after she rejects the advice and help I tried to offer with offensive remarks.

The dress is short and strapless. Trying to shove swollen boobs and a big belly into that dress, I'm convinced, is going to look a little on the trashy side. I brought up the idea of a wrap to my mom, who said, "Oh, she won't like that."

The wrap is $20. I will offer to pay $10. My thought is, I've made enough concessions and dealt with enough of her passive bleating that nothing I can think of will work for her. When she spends $10K on a wedding, she can do things her way. She wouldn't even be required to wear the wrap for all 4 hours... just for the procession, recession, and pictures.

Am I being too demanding? My mother keeps telling me "remember, she's pregnant." I'm not asking her to wear stilettoes and stand at the front for 30 minutes. I just want her to wear a wrap for ten minutes so I can look at my photos in 40 years without thinking, "Her boobs really do look ready to pop out of that dress."

It's ONE day. Is it so bad to insist she cover up? Would I have grounds to kick her, since she said she wouldn't be in if I didn't like her dress? I don't know if I'm going zilla or not, but ten minutes of wearing a wrap she'll only pay half of seems reasonable to me...
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