bridesmaid problem

[Deleted User]

My best friend of 10 years lives in Pensacola and I live in Memphis. We've stayed in contact since she moved, I even lived with her in Pensacola for 6 months before I became homesick. Since I've gotten engaged, she's slowly become more difficult. She hasn't come to a single dress shopping trip (despite the fact that she's had months notices), she didn't come to my engagement party (said she couldn't get off work but I later found out she was at her boyfriend's little brother's birthday party), now I just received a text message asking when the wedding is. Is she serious? The more these things keep occurring, the more I want to 86 her from the wedding party. What do I do? HELP!

mbcdefg

You really want to end a 10 year-friendship because she won't make a 14-hour round-trip to try on dresses (which she could easily do at a salon near her) or come to your engagement party?

duckie1905

You are making too big a deal out of all of this.  I'm sure she had a life before so I'm not sure why you didn't expect her to have a life after.  I'm not really surprised that she isn't dropping everything in her life now to attend dress shopping trips (which are totally unnecessary for her to attend).

Give her a break.  Your wedding is the center of your life, not hers.

trix1223

You're across the line.  You need to chill.  Or you're going to lose a long time friend to a crazy bridezilla sense of entitlement about your wedding.

aerinpegadrak

You're so far over the line that you're about to come 'round the other side of the world and cross it again. 

Istremene

No one will be as excited about your wedding as you are.

MOHs are supposed to buy a dress and show up and hold your flowers.  Everything else is voluntary.

Loosing a good friend over this would be really sad.  It sounds like it is your who has become more difficult, not her.

stina93446

Your wedding isn't until April. Take a chill pill. Do not "86" her because this is a friend ending move. So what if she couldn't make your party....she already had plans for another party. Just because you're engaged does not mean that everyone has to ooh and aah and stop their lives to tell you how amazing you are.

With the wedding date, she probably just honestly forgot. Give her a break. With the dress, give her the info and leave it at that, or to make it even easier on you, just tell her to pick out a black (or whatever color you want) dress and leave it at that. It doesn't have to stressful for you, nor should you concern yourself with many of the "issues" you listed.

mkrupar

My MOH asks me all the time when the wedding is. I don't imagine she'll remember the exact date until March of next year. I'm not going to kick her out because of this. You're way overreacting right now.

gottahavashorti

There is not much I would drive 6 hours for.  Dress shopping trips and engagement parties are absolutely included in things I'd skip.  It's much easier to go to a local party after work than to take enough time off work to drive several hours, go to an out of town party and drive home.

Some of my guests, including family and probably WP members, asked several times when our wedding was.  It wasn't the only thing on their schedule, and not necessarily the only wedding on their schedule.  Sometimes people forget to write things down or don't have that calendar with them when they're, say, at work and need to ask their boss for time off.