Does my FI have to have his sister's husband as a groomsmen?

Flutie75

I was hoping someone here could help me out on this one. I told my FI that I would like to have my brother as one of his groomsmen (My brother is of the traditional type and would be much happier standing on Greg's side than mine). My FI mentioned that his sister (one of my BM's) had asked him about her husband being a groomsmen, and he feels like he is being told who can be in his bridal party.

What is the etiquette, or "rule" here? Should he ask his sister's husband to be a GM because she's a BM, or because he's his brother-in-law? He's not super-close with him, but is probably closer to him than he is to my brother.

Any input here would be fabulous. Thanks!!

[Deleted User]

I understand where you are coming from about the whole being traditional, having the guys stand on the grooms side and the ladies stand on the brides side. However, times are changing, and it seems to be acceptable for guys to stand on your side and ladies to stand on his side.

Typically, you choose your side of the WP and your FI chooses his. But if you can compromise and still keep it "traditional", then I think it is completely fine. We were like that, I had H's sister stand on my side. I don't have any brothers, so that wasn't an issue.

And as far as your FI's sisters husband or whatever, WP sides do not have to be even and they are not tit for tat. The easiest way to deal with this is have a sweethart table at your reception for you and your new H. That way the rest of the WP can sit with their husband's, wives, and SO's.

AutumnFair

I agree with the PP. You FI gets to pick HIS side, you and  his sister should not be forcing him into putting someone he does not feel close to up there. If you want your brother have him on your side. As for his sister's husband, once again, she does not get to dictate who her brother picks to be in the WP.

orangecrush32

Your FI gets to pick his side. If he doesn't want to have his BIL in the WP he doesn't have to. And you should have your brother on your side if you want him in the wedding. Especially if he and your FI aren't very close.

jaimed99

Is it just me, or does there seem to be a wave of Pittsburgh brides coming through lately?

I agree with PPs...if your FI isn't close to your brother, he shouldn't be forced to choose him. I'm fortunate that my FI and my brother are close (actually, my brother is becoming closer to FI's family than I am lol), but not every family is that way. Talk with both your brother and FI and see what they think, and try to compromise. I don't think the BM's hubby needs to be included simply because he's married to her. Same logic applies...if they aren't close, he shouldn't need to pick him.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fi-his-sisters-husband-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6e597920-50e9-4dec-90f6-f1b8f017b583Post:f9f79dd3-510e-408a-91ad-674c760bbc21">Does my FI have to have his sister's husband as a groomsmen?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was hoping someone here could help me out on this one. I told my FI that I would like to have my brother as one of his groomsmen (<strong>My brother is of the traditional type and would be much happier standing on Greg's side than mine</strong>). My FI mentioned that his sister (one of my BM's) had asked him about her husband being a groomsmen, and he feels like he is being told who can be in his bridal party. What is the etiquette, or "rule" here? Should he ask his sister's husband to be a GM because she's a BM, or because he's his brother-in-law? He's not super-close with him, but is probably closer to him than he is to my brother. Any input here would be fabulous. Thanks!! :)
Posted by Flutie75[/QUOTE]

It's not your brother's wedding, is it?