8 days away...

kgrollmus

So I am 8 days away from our wedding, and a groomsman says he won't be showing up.  I think I have the most flaky wedding party known to man.  I had 2 bridesmaids drop out earlier in the planning!

mbcdefg

Did any of them give you and your FI a reason?

Have they always been flaky people, or is this a new behavior?

Did you ask their budgets before you started picking their attire?

Honestly, if i had three wedding party members drop out of my wedding, I'd be taking a look in the mirror and asking myself if I did anything to warrant that. People don't just do things for no reason ... either something pissed them off along the way and they've had enough of being in your wedding, or they were always flaky people and this is just the way they are (in which case, they won't change, even if you're getting married).

kgrollmus

well one of my friends who first dropped out was really welcomed.  She was a roommate for 3 years when we were flight attendants and when I stopped flying and spent more time with her our personalities really started to clash.  She was a girl with no morals or respect for others.  So that was fine and a mutual understanding.

My other friend who dropped out about 3 weeks ago was a shock.  I had been friends with her since the 7th grade, had gone to europe with her twice, yadda yadda.  But when my MOH planned the bachelorette party she didn't like how it was done (even though my MOH was MORE than accommodating to all of the girls).  She asked for everyone's input and suggestions and changed the plans more than once specifically so this girl would be able to come.  Apparently that wasn't ok with her and she sent my MOH some nasty nasty emails then sent me one saying she was "too stressed out" and wouldn't be in the wedding any more.  Yes she already had her dress and was fine with the price point and no I never asked her to do anything to assist with planning or going around with me to do errands or anything else.  So it really didn't make much sense.  The consensus that my family came up with was that she was upset deep down that she was not the MOH because I have known her longer than the girl I chose (even though there are girls in the wedding that I have known even longer than her).  Who knows, but when I tried to call her after she sent the email saying she was not going to be in the wedding she wouldn't call back (we live 2 hrs away from each other).

The groomsman's excuse was that he was mad because one of his friends wasn't invited.  My FI was kind of expecting it because he had not ordered the tux yet and wouldn't return calls. 

So to answer your question, no, we did nothing to warrent the drop outs.  We have flaky friends. They were not asked to help plan or pay for expensive attire or anything.  Only invited to the parties which, obviously, were completely optional.

mbcdefg

Well, then, seems like they're just flaky people who aren't going to change. Just enjoy yourself with the people that DO participate.

tldh

Just keep one thing in mind.  The only three people who have to show up are you, your FI and the officiant.  Everything else is just extra.

Enjoy the last week!!!!  It will go by quickly.

skippylouwho

What time is your wedding?  Even though I'll be at DD's about 20 miles away, I will be thinking of you two and wishing you the best. I hope everything is exactly as you want it, lovely and beautfiul.

jaimed99

Your wedding won't be any less special if some of the WP have flaked out. FI and I both have some seriously flaky individuals in our WP and we've both taken the approach of "if they show up, awesome, if not, their loss, not ours" and left it at that. Does it suck? Absolutely! But just remember why you're getting married in the first place...you've found the one person who makes your life complete and you want to spend your life with that person...regardless of who is standing witness

kgrollmus

Wedding is at 4:30...yay!!  Yeah, I agree.  I'm not so upset about it happening, I am just in awe at how flaky/inconsiderate people have been.  I never realized so many people don't rsvp to things and can't make definite plans and just do their own things.  Just surprising more than anything!  BTW...picked up our marriage license today!!! woo!