Couple trouble---

irismm004

I am getting married in Puerto Rico July 2011 and I have a girlfriend that I have known since elementary school but we did not ever really hang out until senior year in h.s., then throughout college and now beyond that~. I am also friends with her boyfriend whom I've known since high school as well.... Now here is my problem:

My fiance has asked her boyfriend to be in the wedding party already because they have become close friends (they obviously met and became friends  through me)...I have not announced my attendants because I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place---I am friends with her and we do hang out and text on ocassion and always have a great time---hanging as gal pals and all together as couples~but I am not sure that she is as close of a friend like the other girls I have chosen as BMs. But because her boyfriend is a groomsman, and they know this already, I feel obligated to have her as a BM and would feel awkward not having her be a part~ HELP, what do I do?? I do not want to hurt her feelings and it makes it hard because we are having a destination wedding where therre won't be many guests in the first place~ HELP PLEASE!!!!   

gottahavashorti

As long as you're not having a head table without significant others, there will really be no difference for her in terms of seeing her boyfriend whether or not she is in the wedding party.

It's absolutely fine to have one half of a couple in the wedding party and not the other half.  What would you do if your FI hadn't asked her boyfriend to be in the wedding?  Do that.

mbcdefg

Ditto shorti.

We hang out frequently with the guy who was our best man, and his FI. We all get along great and I love the girl to pieces, but aside from hanging out in a group we don't really spend any time together as solo friends (even though I consider her a very good friend). She came to my shower and bachelorette party, and we asked her to do a reading at the wedding. She also sat at the head table with us.

emilyinchile

Yeah, there's no rule that both people in a couple have to be in the WP. She just needs to be a guest at the wedding (obviously) and the RD, and you should seat her with her boyfriend during the reception.

aleighk1

Would your feelings be hurt if her boyfriend asked your FI to be in their wedding but she didn't ask you as a bridesmaid? If not, don't ask her. 

irismm004

Thanks-- I just feel like she may be hurt by it--I thought about having her read something at the ceremony or be a guestbook attendant but I don't want her to think that she is just being 'worked'. My fiance is just as confused "put her in, she's always there for us" or "no, don't put her in, it's your decision and she shouldn't be hurt". I always planned on seating her with us---I just feel awkward!!! I'm so confused!

bablingbrooke

Don't put her to work--just let her come as a guest.  If she gets all bent out of shape over it, that's her problem, not yours.