Wedding Party

Need help with future SIL (its long)

My FI was going over the wedding plans so far (really just venue, place, time) with his sister and mother before Christmas. He mentioned that he would like his BIL to be a groomsman. I was not involved in this conversation so I'm really not 100% sure what was said. I know he said no babies at the ceremony but other children are fine (his sister has seven kids and we want them all there).

Anway, he was sent an e-mail from his sister asking who would be bridesmaids, groomsmen, officiant, caterer, etc. This e-mail was pretty exciting for me because I love the idea of his family wanting to be involved. FI's sister is super organized and does great decorating. I wanted her help with choosing flowers, decorations, caterer, ceremony plans, etc. Her opinion is so important to me. I hadn't asked her to help with any of these things because I have not seen her nor have I even thought much about the above items yet (trying to get through the holiday hustle first).

My FI replied with the answers to his sister's questions and he gets a prompt reply from her stating how upset she is that she wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid. She was upset that we didn't want the kids there and that she was not invited to the rehearsaI dinner. I honestly didn't think of asking her because I already have six and I'm not really close with her right now. She has seven kids and with her husband being a groomsman she'd have her hands full. Plus I wanted her to help me in other ways and enjoy the day. I really didn't think of asking her. My FI called her and she was upset that he didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid and that she wasn't invited to the rehearsal dinner (I'm not sure where that came from since it would be for both families to get to know each other and of course she and the kids would be invited). The conversation ended with her crying and telling him how upset she was and that she felt left out.

I called her soon after and asked her to be a bridesmaid. I don't care how many bridesmaids I have (as long as they are special to me). It makes me feel great to be able to say I have that many awesome friends/family members. So the number of bridesmaids is not an issue. She said that she would have to think about it but she would get back to me.

The point of all this is....I just don't understand it. Can anyone clarify this situation for me? Did I just ruin a potentially great relationship? I'm now upset and stressed. Any help would be great.
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