Maid??

jleighb1989

runpipparun

Stupid phone... 1 It's "clique." 2 Cliques by nature leave people out. So she probably feels as though you all don't need or want her friendship. You guys are probably unapproachable to her. Don't judge her for that. It's 4 on 1 here. 3 If you want to be in her WP, then why wouldn't you expect her to want to be in yours? 4 That said, you're under no obligation to ask her.

GoodLuckBear14

Your wedding is January 11, 2014.  You should not be thinking of a WP until around Halloween or Thanksgiving of NEXT year.  If anyone asks, that is your answer.  And for the love of all that is holy, do not ask anyone to be in your WP until then no matter how sure you are that they will be the ones that you ask.

As for your FI, if he wants the GF in the wedding so badly then he can ask her to stand on his side. You are right that it is who you want.  If you think this will cause problems, honestly I'd tell your FI to grow the eff up and he can pass that sentiment on to his friend and the GF.  How your clique would react is kind of beside the point.  I would hope that they can all be grownups long enough for the walk down the aisle and for pictures because that is all the time a WP has to spend together

Finally, weddings are not tit for tat.  Even if you ask her to be a BM, don't expect to be asked into her WP.

ETA:  It should be Memorial Day next year (not Halloween or Thanksgiving) that you should be asking your WP

Ali092011

Don't feel obligated to invite anyone you don't want to. Your WP should be those closest to you. None of my BMs husbands are standing on FI's side, and none of his GMs have SOs on my side. You don't have to invite SOs into your WP.

If you do decide (when it comes time to ask your WP, which you shouldn't yet) to include this girl in your WP, don't worry about how she will get along with your friends. There is no requirement for BMs to spend time together or befriend each other. All they have to do is stand up next to you and each other at the wedding and be in pictures together.

Pippa, I love German Shepherds and yours is so beautiful!

Soon2BeMrsTing

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:72211d78-2d0d-4258-8a7c-712d02c0bf6dPost:20209bf5-3f94-43db-98a0-e0747eb4284c">Re: Maid??</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't feel obligated to invite anyone you don't want to. Your WP should be those closest to you. None of my BMs husbands are standing on FI's side, and none of his GMs have SOs on my side. You don't have to invite SOs into your WP. If you do decide (when it comes time to ask your WP, which you shouldn't yet) to include this girl in your WP, <strong>don't worry about how she will get along with your friends. There is no requirement for BMs to spend time together or befriend each other. </strong>All they have to do is stand up next to you and each other at the wedding and be in pictures together. Pippa, I love German Shepherds and yours is so beautiful!
Posted by Ali092011[/QUOTE]

YES to the bolded part. 

And ditto everyone else about it being far too early to assemble a WP. 

Summer2011Bride

It is way too early to be asking people to be in your WP. You have over a year until you need to do that.

When it comes to that time though, if you don't feel like you are good enough friends with her to ask her, then don't. If you truly want to, then do. it doesn't matter if she isn't friends with your other BMs. But this should be a decision YOU make and not anyone else.

gurrlballa10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:72211d78-2d0d-4258-8a7c-712d02c0bf6dPost:13822d25-aeaf-4249-bbef-e83b5c32e71b">Re: Maid??</a>:
[QUOTE]Your wedding is January 11, 2014.  You should not be thinking of a WP until around <strong>Halloween or Thanksgiving of NEXT year</strong>.  If anyone asks, that is your answer.  And for the love of all that is holy, do not ask anyone to be in your WP until then no matter how sure you are that they will be the ones that you ask. As for your FI, if he wants the GF in the wedding so badly then he can ask her to stand on his side. You are right that it is who you want.  If you think this will cause problems, honestly I'd tell your FI to grow the eff up and he can pass that sentiment on to his friend and the GF.  How your clique would react is kind of beside the point.  I would hope that they can all be grownups long enough for the walk down the aisle and for pictures because that is all the time a WP has to spend together Finally, weddings are not tit for tat.  Even if you ask her to be a BM, don't expect to be asked into her WP.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

I normally agree with you, but if she waits that long, she'll have a month and a half to get dresses.  While I agree she should be waiting to ask her WP until June or so, I don't think she should wait that long.

Soon2BeMrsTing

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:72211d78-2d0d-4258-8a7c-712d02c0bf6dPost:20209bf5-3f94-43db-98a0-e0747eb4284c">Re: Maid??</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't feel obligated to invite anyone you don't want to. Your WP should be those closest to you. None of my BMs husbands are standing on FI's side, and none of his GMs have SOs on my side. You don't have to invite SOs into your WP. If you do decide (when it comes time to ask your WP, which you shouldn't yet) to include this girl in your WP, <strong>don't worry about how she will get along with your friends. There is no requirement for BMs to spend time together or befriend each other. </strong>All they have to do is stand up next to you and each other at the wedding and be in pictures together. Pippa, I love German Shepherds and yours is so beautiful!
Posted by Ali092011[/QUOTE]

YES to the bolded part. 

And ditto everyone else about it being far too early to assemble a WP. 

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:72211d78-2d0d-4258-8a7c-712d02c0bf6dPost:0fefa25c-2753-460f-8e76-885e50c926b2">Re: Maid??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Maid?? : I normally agree with you, but if she waits that long, she'll have a month and a half to get dresses.  While I agree she should be waiting to ask her WP until June or so, I don't think she should wait that long.
Posted by gurrlballa10[/QUOTE]

Crap.  Thanks for pointing that out.  I should have put Memorial Day. Morning brain does not always work, especially when it comes to math and Fridays.

jleighb1989

Guess I jumped the gun on that one! Sheesh...

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:72211d78-2d0d-4258-8a7c-712d02c0bf6dPost:45f182af-c510-4ba3-8fe5-e662e0bac1f5">Maid??</a>:
[QUOTE]
Posted by jleighb1989[/QUOTE]

Leigh - it is considered extremely rude to Dirty Delete a post.  Even if your question was answered, there might be others out there with the same situation who would want to read this thread in its entirety.

aerinpegadrak

Man, can't believe no one quoted...

My BMs weren't all in the same room until about 6 hours before the ceremony.  They got along great, because they are adults and know how to conduct themselves, and the only ones who've seen each other since are the ones who knew each other before.  They're not a new social group, and it puts way too much pressure on them if you expect them to become one.