Director of the wedding taking over

motherof2kids2k6

How would I say very nice to the director that she is not the coordinator that she is just the director of the wedding? Should I send her a email a long with the rest of the wedding party, so she won't feel singled out what the roles of each person in the wedding are? or should I sit her down face to face and tell her what I expect of her? because she is the aunt of the groom and she's not getting paid she just volunteered to do the rehersal dinner and the wedding directing

SarahPLiz

If you want her to do things you way, you should pay her. End of story.
 
I don't see a difference between the director and the coordinator, really. If she volunteered, then treat her like you appreciate her, for pete's sake.

emilyinchile

What is a wedding director?

janedoe1113a

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_director-of-wedding-taking-over?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7267ebd3-297a-42ce-89de-bcbede3e403cPost:d4d7b91a-394d-47fa-baea-70fc09838b37">Re: Director of the wedding taking over</a>:
[QUOTE]What is a wedding director?
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

This.

duckie1905

I also want to know: What the hell is a wedding director?

Maybe the problem is she doesn't know either so she is doing things she "thinks" a wedding director would do. I would assume a wedding director coordinates weddings.

leeshab1982

I'm assuming she means the person who helps create a timeline and makes sure things go off on time for the rehearsal dinner and ceremony.  Kind of like a coordinator?   

stina93446

If a wedding director is what lee said (time lines) you can totally do that yourself. This is a paid position and I don't think his aunt should be held accountable for it, ESPECIALLY if she's not a professional.

motherof2kids2k6

No I'm not saying that she's asking for money, I'm saying that she is putting her two since in it all over th place and telling me I'm wrong about some of my decisions I choose. this has nothing to do with money, she doesn't want to be paid she wants to run the wedding, I have a coordinator that is doing her part and doing it well but they keep bumping heads and they are asking me to say something but don't want to be mean...

gottahavashorti

I'm still confused about what a wedding director is.  Since you have a coordinator, maybe you could tell her that while you appreciate the sentiment, everything's covered and you don't really need a director.

Can you just avoid talking about the wedding with her and change the topic if she brings it up?

mizri

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_director-of-wedding-taking-over?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7267ebd3-297a-42ce-89de-bcbede3e403cPost:e20e8379-4153-43f4-8f83-b08610938d8f">Re: Director of the wedding taking over</a>:
[QUOTE]No I'm not saying that she's asking for money, I'm saying that she is putting her <strong>two since</strong> in it all over th place and telling me I'm wrong about some of my decisions I choose. this has nothing to do with money, she doesn't want to be paid she wants to run the wedding, I have a coordinator that is doing her part and doing it well but they keep bumping heads and they are asking me to say something but don't want to be mean...
Posted by motherof2kids2k6[/QUOTE]

<div>First, I'm sorry, but it's <strong>two cents</strong>.  Second, I would do what PP said and thank her for offering, but you have everything under control.  </div>

motherof2kids2k6

The wedding director is suppose to handle the rehersal dinner and the day of event at church. They make sure that the people are there on time, they make sure the music is ok, they make sure everything with the church is paid in full, they do mainly the background things at the wedding.

motherof2kids2k6

Thx meant to put that "TWO CENTS" was moving and thinkn' entirely too fast

stina93446

The things you have described are for a day of coordinator or a wedding planner. I thought you already said you had a WP so you should have her do that, not the aunt. Graciously decline her help.

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_director-of-wedding-taking-over?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7267ebd3-297a-42ce-89de-bcbede3e403cPost:d4576dad-05c6-4a64-a8c2-e222db705bf6">Re: Director of the wedding taking over</a>:
[QUOTE]The things you have described are for a day of coordinator or a wedding planner. I thought you already said you had a WP so you should have her do that, not the aunt. Graciously decline her help.
Posted by stina93446[/QUOTE]

This. It's also just not necessary. The DJ can be given cues for music, and each WP member can be in charge of getting him or herself to the right place at the right time, walking down the aisle and standing in the right spot (or helping a child do the same if you have kids in the wedding). If you're butting heads with the aunt, it's probably less drama to decline the offer entirely rather than to say "thanks for your help, but I don't like the kind of help you're giving."

stina93446

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_director-of-wedding-taking-over?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7267ebd3-297a-42ce-89de-bcbede3e403cPost:2056b822-a15e-4842-8420-85cd6ae78615">Re: Director of the wedding taking over</a>:
[QUOTE]The coordinator is a professional, but she has only been request to do the reception only. I wanted to everything myself for the church. But as the wedding is happening, I needed some one to direct it so music, ppl, and things would be in place and on time on that day. I, being the bride knew that I couldn't do it, and she volunteered.
Posted by motherof2kids2k6[/QUOTE]

<div>Why is the coordinator only doing the reception? It is cheaper that way? Can she not do it earlier? I find it really weird that she's only doing half....but if you're only paying her for that, it makes sense. However, you clearly can't/aren't doing the stuff at the church yourself. Leave the aunt out of it. This is going to cause SO many problems. </div>

LarissaAnn

If the ceremony's at a church, they really know how to do these things.  I honestly think you don't need a director.