Anyone here?

Manwaithiel

I'm so beyond upset and I need to talk. If you're willing to read my ravings, I'd be very much obliged. *read Really?? thread below to understand this*

So my friend, in case you didn't read the update below, has now decided to demand the money TOMORROW. I've backed out at this point saying I refuse to be bankrolled for something I had no input in and then have the funds demanded NOW.

He gets all "Well I can't force you so I hope you reconsider." We get into this huge texting war. All he can see is that he picked "such a good gift" and why I didn't trust his judgement. Which is just stupid, because it has absolutely nothing to do with the situation. He won't answer the phone. It's just beyond dumb at this point. He keeps insisting that what he's doing isn't rude. He then hits up another co-worker, who's paying for school all by himself. That co-worker got him to back down by telling him that he didn't have money for FAMILY christmas presents, let alone co-workers.

This is freaking crazy. I can't believe the stupidity and the sheer lack of manners in this whole thing. He starts complaining about how he's spending more than "all of us" and I'm like "BUT YOU CHOSE TO!! YOU CHOSE THAT! You don't get to tell me how much I SHOULD spend on my bosses."

For the love of all things holy...

bablingbrooke

I completely understand you being upset about this...but I think it's time to drop it.  This guy is clueless.  Just say no and be done with it.  Don't let him draw you into a huge, personal etiquette war involving money.  There is just no way that goes well.  If he spent too much, it's his own damn fault.  He'll learn the hard way.

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_anyone-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7685fa7e-c1a2-4293-be9f-54e9119c4ddfPost:02042d69-7bfa-44ad-83b5-e52b14ae20c6">Re: Anyone here?</a>:
[QUOTE]NO is not a four-letter word. Use it without guilt.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

LOL!

Nice.

Brooke, you're completely right. I need to just let it go. I'm going to just ignore him as much as possible. It's just so frustrating. I hope no one else in the office feels obligated to go along with these shenanigans, but I guess that's on them.

Manwaithiel

Brooke when are you going into your hole?

bablingbrooke

Probably the first week of December  And I don't anticipate coming back before the first of the year, though I won't make promises.

ETA: You can PM me your email if you want to talk during that time, I just won't be knotting because, well, life sucks.

Manwaithiel

*sad* I don't want you to be a productive law student.

And thanks for responding to my ravings. I'm sure most other people just roll their eyes. And I can't blame them cause it really SHOULDN'T be that big of a deal, but it's gotten under my skin very badly.

Maybe it's cause I haven't eaten yet. I should probably do that.

ETA: And I really do want you to be a productive law student, promise

bablingbrooke

I don't want to be a productive law student either  I haven't been able to enjoy Christmas since I started, particularly my first year when my exams ran from Dec. 5 to Dec. 22.  That was rough.  Then last year DH and I skipped it to go on our HM, which was really nice (and my exams were over much earlier) but I still didn't really get to enjoy it.  Here's hoping for Christmas 2011!

garcias1

This is a totally weird situation for him to put you in.  I am a student (very limited income), and I don't think I could constantly pony up money for Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, etc.  In grad school, we do have fellow classmates who get married and have kids.  So we usually have showers for them since this is a once-in-a-lifetime event (usually).  I am usually the one organizing it.  I usually send an email out to people letting that know that IF they are interested in giving a gift, then they are more than welcome to contribute $10 to a group gift that I would buy.  Then people who contributed would sign a card, and I would work with whatever money I got.  This is a nice option for people who want to contribute but don't have a car/time to go buy a gift.  I would never pick out a gift without knowing how much money people would contribute.  People also have the option to buy their own gift or no gift at all.  There is no stigma at our school for not buying a gift but still showing up to the shower (esp if you are a student).  I certainly would never force anyone to give me $10 if they couldn't afford it/didn't know the student well/didn't want to give a gift.