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I heart Prudie

Girls, bridezilla behaviour DOES come back to haunt you.  Don't let this happen to you:

My New Wife, the former Bridezilla...PLEASE HELP!

Dear Prudence, I just got married a few weeks ago. When we opened our wedding gifts, my wife was startled to find a book on bridal etiquette. The book came in a package enclosed with no name, just a note saying "For next time, you might need this."

 

Inside the book there were things highlighted that my wife should have done, like paying for the rehearsal dinner and sending thank you cards. My wife is FURIOUS. She knows it must be one of her close friends, because some of the things that were highlighted in the book were things that only our close friends and family knew. She's on the war path.

 

Here's the catch--I know exactly who sent the book. It was one of her bridesmaids, in fact it was her "best friend." I am torn between telling my wife and keeping it quiet, because truth be told, my wife was the DEFINITION of a bridezilla when planning out our wedding, and I felt bad for her attendants. There were times when even I was doubting our relationship. The girl who sent the book obviously has no intention of telling my wife, but I don't really WANT to tell her either. I want her to think about how crappily she treated her friends and family, including her new in-laws. Am I obligated to tell my wife about her "friend?"

 

Sincerely,

Husband with a Secret

 

A.Emily Yoffe writes:

Your wife may be in on the warpath, but I wonder if you're on the divorce path given the revelations about her character.  I've often wondered what the grooms are thinking when they see their beloved turn into a demanding shrew because it's "her (never 'our') day.  If you truly are going to build a life together, the conversation you need to have is not about who sent the book, but why the book was sent. You can agree it was an insulting, underhanded thing to do (and her best friend should have spoken up, not sent the book). But then you need to segue into, "Honey, I know planning a wedding can be very stressful, but I think you actually do need to make amends to some people for the way you treated them."  Sure, she'll probably respond badly, but if she can't eventually calm down and look at her behavior, if she  goes on the warpath against you, you really need to think about who you married. 

Courtesy of megk8oz
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"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

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Re: I heart Prudie

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    haha- too funny!!! I'd love to know how that one turned out.
    Anniversary
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    Holy cow! I cannot imagine having to deal with something like that. To have behaved so poorly to your friends and family over a party that someone felt giving you an etiquette guide was necessary - yikes.

    Wouldn't you be so ashamed of yourself? I can't believe this woman wasn't immediately calling everyone she knew to apologize. Now this is someone for whose husband I really do feel sorry.
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    It's a girl!
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    I wonder if it was a Knottie?  I know I've frequently seen people joking about giving an etiquette book as a gift to particularly horrible brides.

    I'd also like to say that I'm reading the article now on the Slate app for my iPad.  It's pretty.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    I love that someone actually had the guts to do that.  Minus the highlighting, I do think the gift could be given to a bridezilla effectively if it also included other wedding planning books like a a DIY book or planning binder.
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    Nah, the highlights are what make it an abused BM WIN.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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    Oh yes, that is what makes her win!  I meant if the goal is to get them to look at it while planning without throwing a fit.  Though enough people say "well MY friends won't care, do what's best for YOU" that it might sitll fail when packaged with other books.
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    I esp. love the note. "for next time, you might need this." That is one pissed off BM that knows that marriage isn't going to work.
    Anniversary
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    I honestly don't think there's much of a future if the groom already thinks his wife has some serious character flaws.  $10 says none of the BMs are even on speaking terms with her anymore.

    One of my BMs, when she was BM for someone else about a year and a half before we got married, very nearly did this.  She and her fellow BM completely cut off contact with this girl because she went completely over the edge.  The other BM has not spoken to her since the wedding.  My friend tried to keep up contact but the bride totally pulled a Lydia (from Pride and Prejudice): "Oh, you see, I'm married now, so I don't think you understand what I'm going through," and "Well, you're not married yet so you don't get it" so my friend no longer speaks to her. 

    They'd all been friends since they were 5.  They're 29 now.  It's sad that a literally life-long friendship was ruined because of a wedding.
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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    Ha, I know - people on here joke about sending a horrible bride an etiquette book somewhat regularly....maybe it was a Knottie.

    Anyway, yikes. And yeah - the wedding planning process can really show you a lot about your partner's character and how they're willing to treat other people in the process.

    Let that be a lesson learned for others out there - the wedding is one day. You want your new husband and in-laws and friends to still like you after that day is over, no?
    The Bump ate my signature. DD - Apr 2011 DS - expected June 2013
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    I really don't understand why people think a wedding means that you can treat your friends and family poorly even when you wouldn't do that any other day of the week.  Stupid wedding industry and media.
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    This is so much win. Thanks for posting, Brooke!
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    What I didn't post is a follow-up post in the chat where someone said that it was the BMs' and groom's fault for never calling the bride out for her behaviour and that "anyone" could start acting this way.  Prudie shot her down, saying that any grown woman old enough to marry is perfectly capable in putting a wedding in perspective and that it's not the duty of the WP to keep her from going crazy over a party.

    I love Prudie so much I want to have her babies.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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    edited August 2010
    You should have her babies! It would be better than that bride & groom having babies...which will learn from their mother that they can be self-entitled jerks; they'll learn from their father that they can get away with whatever they want and people will just stand back and watch instead of speaking up.

    Seriously, if she treated his parents (her future in laws) so terribly then why didn't he say anything then???
    Anniversary
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    Well, that was fun!  Thanks for sharing.  Clearly that bride didn't come here to the WP board for advice.  Had she come here, she may not have received the well needed book.  =)
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_heart-prudie?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:770041c3-a0bb-45c3-b711-ece2c09285e4Post:f702b4a1-355a-4d22-ab60-0120a6467adf">Re: I heart Prudie</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, that was fun!  Thanks for sharing.  Clearly that bride didn't come here to the WP board for advice.  Had she come here, she may not have received the well needed book.  =)
    Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

    She may have Trix.  How many spoiled brats have huffed their way to a nicer page because we're just sooooo mean here?
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    AKA GoodLuckBear14
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    Omg, well, I know what I'm gift I'm giving the next time BSC friend gets married, lol.

    It really is sad that some women are willing to throw so much away in the name of "their spashul day". Like with my friend's wedding, she asked 2 family members (Her only sister and a cousin) and at the time, 3 really good friends to stand up for her. Now after her wedding, none of the friends speak to her anymore, and the family members pretty much avoid her like the plague at family functions. Seriously, what was so important about her wedding that it was worth ruining a relationship with her own sister over?

    And it wasn't even like me or Brooke where the sister relationship was a big strained going in and the sister was the drama source ... the 2 of them really were like best friends before she got a ring on her finger. It makes me sad when I think about it.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
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    bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited August 2010
    Meg, what did your friend do to tick everyone off so much?

    The friend of the friend I'm talking about told my friend that she might want to think about getting in shape before the wedding, insisted on screening their outfits for the RD, told the BMs how she wanted her honeymoon suite decorated (at their expense, of course), wouldn't let the other BM bring her BF (now FI) of 4 years because they weren't engaged yet, stuff like that.  I know there was more, that's just all I remember.  She alienated so many family and friends that she had to call me up and ask me (whom she'd met maybe 3 times) to do a dance for her at her wedding (it was an Indian wedding and I know how to do Bollywood-style dancing).  I politely declined and she wouldn't take no for an answer until I finally made up some excuse about being out of town the weekend of the wedding.  No, I was never actually invited, I was just someone who could do the dance that most of the time friends and family do out of love.  She had to resort to an acquaintance.  Did I mention I lived three hours away from where the wedding was?  Yeah, good times.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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    Brooke, I think you should keep this post handy and paste it on here when needed.  I am so happy that none of my friends go crazy when planning their weddings.
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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    I do have to say, though, that I disagreed with her telling the vegetarian guest that she shouldn't indicate her dietary restrictions on the response card.  I understand that the host shouldn't be expected to accommodate each and every fad diet and allergy, but straight-up vegetarianism is neither new nor uncommon, and it would be a truly incompetent host who didn't have some sort of decent vegetarian option in place.  Hell, even the Almight Gordon Ramsay can't stand vegetarians, but he'll accommodate them when given notice.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    tldh:  excellent point.  You're right.  Clueless bride may well have been here.  And then left because what do old married hags know anyway?  But now, perhaps will realize that we were right!  =)
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    I remember that letter, aerin, and I wonder if the couple just didn't know she was veggie (I can't remember her relationship to the couple).  We had a veggie option because my dad and one of my BMs are veggies, but I'm not sure I would have paid extra for it (which we did) for a "hypothetical" vegetarian on the list.  Know what I mean?  

    If it's such a big imposition that person could just decide not to go.  As we always say, it's an invitation, not a subpoena.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_heart-prudie?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:770041c3-a0bb-45c3-b711-ece2c09285e4Post:3655af23-72fb-4578-95c7-f23845bacf60">Re: I heart Prudie</a>:
    [QUOTE]tldh:  excellent point.  You're right.  Clueless bride may well have been here.  And then left because what do old married hags know anyway?  But now, perhaps will realize that we were right!  =)
    Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]
    Not bloody likely.  We're just more people who are jealous of her and out to spoil her fun.  Ever notice that bridezillas are a lot like paranoid dictators?  Always keeping an eye out for the threat.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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    Let's see, what didn't my friend do? Lol.

    Please note, at the time, neither DH nor myself actually knew you were allowed to bow down from being in a WP.

    Well, for starters, she kicked a friend out of the WP in February for her August wedding, saying the she "didn't order the dress on time". At the time, none of the other BMs even knew what dress she picked out, let alone that we should have ordered it by then. She then replaced her with another friend. Then added another girl (Which made her sides uneven, so she insisted that DH be a GM, even though we tried telling her we could barely afford me being in the wedding).

    May rolls around and she makes everybody go order dresses (You know, the same dress that she booted somebody for not ordering 3 months prior). That day, she actually says to the replacement "Well, Jane couldn't make it today, because she couldn't afford to fly here from FL to get measured. She has a job, so it's total bs that she really 'couldn't afford' to fly here for today and then again for the wedding. But that's cool, because you're here, so I don't need here anyway".

    Then, I get measured, the person tells me I need to order a 10, "in case I gain weight". I take a 4 in most dresses, and I wanted to avoid completely reconstructing a dress that was too big, so I tried saying "I don't think that's right-that sounds a little big and I really don't think I'll gain that much weight in 3 months". The bride then says "Oh, just shut up, and order what the professional tells you to, nobody cares that you're 'fat on paper'" (Which, had I known I could drop out, that would have been the moment I did it), so I begrudgingly agree to order the 10, and I point blank said "If it comes in too big, I'm not getting the alterations done here, because I tried to prevent this". Post-dress shopping, she proceeded to tell the GMs-including DH, that I "started crying in the dress store because I'm a size 10" (Ok, then).

    Dress comes in, and of course, it's way too big. So when the bride asks how it fits, I tell her, and she gets all pissy with me "I told you to get a smaller size, but nooooo, you're the one that said you'd 'trust the professional', I swear to God, you'd better have it altered on time!".

    I got several lectures throughout the planning process that I "wasn't committing" to pre-wedding activities. I had to take a second job to afford being in the wedding. I tried explaining that to the bride and she flipped out that I wasn't "being supportive". Bitch, every dime I make is going into your stupid party!

    After her shower, she mentioned to all of us that nobody purchased the $300 cake topper from her registry "just in case any of you haven't bought us a wedding gift yet".

    She initially told everybody to buy "any silver shoe". So we all bought shoes (That did not match). About 2 weeks before the wedding, she has this meltdown about the shoes, insists everybody buys new ones that match (Most of is couldn't get our money back for the other pair at that point).

    Then there were the hair and nails. She insisted everybody get pro hair and nails, but since she was "requiring specifics" that she wasn't going to be paying for them. We got the nails done the day before the wedding, cost me $75.00 and one of mine chipped at the RD. Convinced she's going to kill me, she shrugs that off saying "Oh, it's no big deal, it's not like anybody's going to see your nails. Aren't you glad I'm not a total bridezilla" Then why did I just spend $75.00 on them?

    The day of the wedding, she demanded that one of her BMs not wear her e-ring during the ceremony ("But you can totally wear it at the reception") because "BMs aren't allowed to wear a bigger ring than the bride".

    I don't know what else she did to everybody when I wasn't around (Obviously, I mostly only shared my "personal" greivances here). But yeah, everybody else seemed equally "ready to kill her" by the time it was all over.


    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
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    Wow.  That takes the cake for biggest bridezilla ever.  I take it you're one of the people who never speak to her anymore?
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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    Meg wins.

    I'm not sure what she wins, but that story is special.
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    jagore08jagore08 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    edited August 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_heart-prudie?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:770041c3-a0bb-45c3-b711-ece2c09285e4Post:723a394a-cef0-45eb-a25b-89b6b2fc12dd">Re: I heart Prudie</a>:
    [QUOTE]Meg wins. I'm not sure what she wins, but that story is special.
    Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

    <div>We can always have Emilykathleen use her craftiness and make her a t-shirt! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" /></div>
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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    Oh, I always forget, also while ordering dresses. Like I said in other posts, she picked a really unflattering shade of orange  and then put her sister (The MOH) in yellow (Which was a little bit better)... the dress itself would have been nice in pretty much any other colors. We're in the store and one of the girls suggests maybe everybody wear the yellow or something when the bride cuts her off and says:

    "My sister is the MOH. She needs to wear the yellow. Nobody actually looks good in orange". This would be wear the shopping trip proceeded to spiral downhill into "fat on paper" territory.

    I got engaged while she was planning (Thankfully, my ring was "tiny" enough to be worn during her ceremony, lol). The entire time, she kept telling me "When it's your turn, you're going to need my help. I know if I let you do what you want, you're just going to make everything pink, poufy and ugly".

    This is the same chick that a year later was trying to force her way into my WP.

    I owe much thanks to the wise regs of WP, because I remember in spite of her bad behavior, I felt like I "owed" her a spot in my WP, but didn't want to ask her (Because it really may have ended with me killing her). I actually remember one of my first Knot posts ever was me coming here essentially saying "Do I have to ask her?".

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
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    To answer your question Brooke: no we no longer speak.

    We did invite them to the wedding (Out of guilt and the fact that her husband really is a nice guy). And I never took her off my FB list . But the Thank You card was the last time DH and I "reached out" on any level to them.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
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    How unfortunate for everyone. 

    It's not looking good for a couple when a FI can't tell his SO to dial down the crazy.
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    edited August 2010



    Haha, it was actually Meg that did the t-shirts, but since she has been so generous with her art, I figure I can return the favor. Here it is! BrideSlave of the Year!

    ETA: Notice the lovely orange color of the t-shirt.
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