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Slackers

Okay so my wedding is July 17, 2011 and some of my bridesmaids are taking there sweet time on ordering dresses...I mean I know its not my money (they are paying for there own dresses) but I feel like there time is running out.  I already asked everyone once to order there dresses I still have 4 girls who have not ordered or showed any steps of ordering. I am too nice to say anything haha so I really do not know what to do.

Re: Slackers

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    Check with the dress shop on the last possible date to order dresses and have them arrive before the wedding day.  Then inform each bridesmaid of the 'deadline' for ordering their dresses; after that, it's not really in your hands anymore.  Don't bug them about it after that, unless they come to you for help with ordering.

    Conventional wisdom says if they're informed of the order deadline and they don't order by that date, then they have 'forfieted' their spot in the bridal party (but this if, of course, up to you).  
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    vicki0508vicki0508 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited April 2011
    Just make sure you know when the drop dead deadline is and maybe drop them an email letting them know.  If they wait too long and have to pay a rush fee, that's on them.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_slackers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7a61516e-f9ee-43e7-9d8d-9411d391ade3Post:827366e5-af78-4be7-b07b-4a2f0b74f370">Slackers</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay so my wedding is July 17, 2011 and some of my bridesmaids are taking <font color="#ff0000">there</font> sweet time on ordering dresses...I mean I know its not my money (they are paying for <font color="#ff0000">there</font> own dresses) but I feel like <font color="#ff0000">there</font> time is running out.  I already asked everyone once to order <font color="#ff0000">there</font> dresses I still have 4 girls who have not ordered or showed any steps of ordering. I am too nice to say anything haha so I really do not know what to do.
    Posted by eckhout2be[/QUOTE]

    aaaaaaaaagh!
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    tpender13tpender13 member
    First Comment
    edited April 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_slackers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7a61516e-f9ee-43e7-9d8d-9411d391ade3Post:23b3344f-e3ee-43e0-905a-7730c6a0826a">Re: Slackers</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Slackers : aaaaaaaaagh!
    Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

    Ditto. *Their

    OP, just let them know what date they need to order the dresses by, and leave it up to them.
    image
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_slackers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7a61516e-f9ee-43e7-9d8d-9411d391ade3Post:0f003a4e-3ae6-4fe3-b387-5bdb17c090de">Re: Slackers</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dude, we didn't even take final measurements for my girls custom-made outfits until April before my June wedding.  I've never bought a BM dress more than 3 months out, and several times it's been closer to 2 months out.  I think you need to find out the latest date that they can order without paying a rush fee, let them know, and then chillax.  They are presumably adults and are able to meet a deadline on their own.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Sorry butin my opinion 2 monthes out is cutting it short dpending on the place you order it.  If I had waited that short of time to order my bridesmaid dress to be in my friends wedding I would have not have been able to be in it because of some screw-ups by the shop that had to be fixed and they would not have been fixed in that short of time. 

    But I agree with PP's that you just need to give them a cut-off date and hope that they do it because even though you want to make sure they get their dress so they can be a part of your wedding party in the end it is their job and responsibility and the more you try to help them or talk to them the more chance they will feel like you don't trust them or think you are treating them as children.
    Anniversary
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    Hey date twin! I agree with pps-- give them the last date they can order by, the date with a rush fee, and the amount of the fee. Also remind them that they may have to have alterations and should compensate for that time. After that, it is their job to get the dresses. 

    Photobucket
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    pretzelgrrlpretzelgrrl member
    First Comment
    edited April 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_slackers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7a61516e-f9ee-43e7-9d8d-9411d391ade3Post:1bb43f7c-75cb-4f84-9084-b713167b573c">Re: Slackers</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Slackers : Well, your opinion does not fact make.  If the dress shop tells me 8 weeks out is the deadline to get it in without rush ordering, then waiting until 8 weeks beforehand is perfectly fine.  I didn't say her girls should wait until 2 months out.  I said that they should order by the date the shop gives.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Well yeah that's why I put <strong>in my opinion</strong>...my point was just I ordered mine with what should have been plenty of time but because of screw-ups barely got it on time....and then the dress shop tried to get me to pay the rush fees...but that is another story
    Anniversary
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    Two months out may be cutting it close for some shops but necessarily others.  The last two weddings I've been in the dresses needed to be ordered about 6 months out (so annoying) and took about 2 months to come in, but a friend of mine is in a wedding right now and her dress took all of two weeks to arrive for an August wedding.  The store told her mid-April as the deadline, but I kind of have a feeling that was more so the bride couldn't change her mind about the dresses and not as much about the time it takes the dresses to come in.  

    I actually have a BM who is taking her sweet time ordering her dress for my wedding, as well.  I've told her the deadline, and I'm kind of curious to see how late she ends up being ordering it.  But, she knows when the deadline is and if it passes and she hasn't ordered and the dress doesn't come in on time, it'll be on her.  Or course I want her in my wedding, but I can't be harping on her weekly to get the dress ordered.  She's a grown up, afterall.  

    Find out the deadline if you haven't already and pass that along.  Then, it's done.  Maybe send a follow up text/email out 2 weeks before the deadline just as a reminder or something, but don't stress about it.  They've agreed to be in your wedding, so I'm sure they'll get their stuff taken care of in time.
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    I am also getting married on July 17th!  Two of my 5 maids have ordered, one has picked a dress but not ordered and two others haven't said anything to me about picking a dress. Its fine.

    Just get all your girls the pertinent information and don't worry about it. There is still plenty of time.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_slackers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7a61516e-f9ee-43e7-9d8d-9411d391ade3Post:df9bfc28-9f84-4df6-985a-52cfaf6f1c0a">Re: Slackers</a>:
    [QUOTE]Another dirty little secret: you probably don''t need alterations. The salons want the gowns to fit you like a glove, and be tailored exactly to your figure. The harsh truth is that you probably DON'T need them, unless your gown is too short, too long or waaaay too lose in certain places. if it hangs right and looks good and you're comfy - tell them you don't want it altered, and save the money. Salon wanted to charge me $75 to take in the waist (1/4 of an inch) and another quarter inch on the hem (I wore heels). Yeesh.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    I know...I swear they make some of these dresses wierd just so you need alterations or measure you wrong.  My BM tried on a 12 it fit wierd on the hips and when they measured her they said order a 16...we were like um 12 practically fit her so we ordered 14....comes in and it is huge on her....so annoying...thankfully she knows someone who will alter it for free :) But brida salons are such a racket.
    Anniversary
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_slackers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:7a61516e-f9ee-43e7-9d8d-9411d391ade3Post:df9bfc28-9f84-4df6-985a-52cfaf6f1c0a">Re: Slackers</a>:
    [QUOTE]You're welcome, Stage. FYI, Ladies:  Salons will tell you that You! must! order! right! away! This is because their consultants work on commission, and have sales quotas to meet or they lose their jobs.  They need  your order in their hot little hands right now. David's Bridal and Bridesmart are particularly bad about this, when the gowns are in fact easily ordered from another store. Most bridesmaid's gowns are now Open Stock, and easily obtainable within that 6-6 week window from chain stores. You do need more time if it's an exclusive designer line, or you have very small or plus-sized maids. Another dirty little secret: you probably don''t need alterations. The salons want the gowns to fit you like a glove, and be tailored exactly to your figure. The harsh truth is that you probably DON'T need them, unless your gown is too short, too long or waaaay too lose in certain places. if it hangs right and looks good and you're comfy - tell them you don't want it altered, and save the money. Salon wanted to charge me $75 to take in the waist (1/4 of an inch) and another quarter inch on the hem (I wore heels). Yeesh.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    Totally agree on the alterations.  Every wedding I have been in has included a high pressure sales job on alterations that were unnecessary.  Yes, the dress could have been "tweaked" to look more tailored.  But it looked fine as it was and I knew that I would NEVER be wearing the dress again so there was no way I was going to spend the money.
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