Price of BM Dress

veritasatori

I'm a little bit stressed about choosing a BM dress that isn't inappropriate in terms of price.  I love the idea of designating a length, fabric, and color at J.Crew and having each of the girls pick her own silhouette, but the J.Crew dresses are pretty pricey (in the $200 - $250 range).

Before I started looking at BM dresses, I asked each of the girls (individually) about her budget, but no one gave me a number or even a general range.  I got vague, "Oh, I'm sure that whatever you pick will be fine" sorts of answers on price, although I did get (conflicting) specifics on silhouette preference.  

Except for my FSIL (whose mother, my FMIL, will be paying for the dress), all of my BMs are done with college and gainfully employed.  One lives in CA, two in NE, one in NY, and I live in MN, so shopping together isn't an option.   

Is $200 - $250 outrageous?  Should I pick something cheaper on the off-chance that one (or more) of my BMs actually does have a lower number in mind?

Licia&Wayne

It's pretty outrageous, at least for me in my situation as a gainfully employed person. Chances are they will only wear it once, and to blow $200-250 on that just seems too pricey for me.

I think it would be best to press for a price range from them. Either that, or tell them your wants (color, length, etc.) and let them find their own dress, be it from a bridal salon or department store.

tldh

I would balk at being asked to pay that much for a one time dress.  I'd send them individual e.mails telling them that you absolutely need a number that they can stick to.

You aren't getting married until August 2011 so they'll have plenty of time to think about this.  Tell them that you'll ask again at the first of the year.

gottahavashorti

That seems like a lot.  Personally, I'd figure on $100-150 for a BM dress but other peoples' budgets are higher or lower.

AdeleDazeem

I paid $175 for my sister's bridesmaid dress.  That was lot :-(

And J Crew quality (ESPECIALLY FOR ITS PRICE) is abysmal if you ask me.

mbcdefg

How about you ask THEM what they can afford, instead of just guessing?

aerinpegadrak

I'm pretty comfortable financially, but I wouldn't be happy about spending $250 on two yards of fabric that will be worn for 5 hours.

Since they have differing opinions on styles, I think you would be best just giving them a color, fabric, and length, and turning them loose.  That way they can spend whatever they're comfortable with.  Worked great for me, and it's becoming quite common.

mbcdefg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_price-of-bm-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7a66ffd2-d30b-4e96-b9bd-7eafa09fcb3ePost:6208f2fa-7c59-4d40-ad24-5ee8b7ae3fa8">Re: Price of BM Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Price of BM Dress : If I'm reading this correctly, she did and they wouldn't answer.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

Ah, my bad. Need more coffee. Sorry, OP.

Maybe, then, send them a few options in different price ranges and see what they pick, and that can give you a clue.

My BMs asked me to keep the dresses under $200 each. The dresses they wore were $129 each.

marissa_claire

Frankly, what I found looking at BM dresses is that they are like everything else "bridal"  - you throw that word in front of it and it automatically adds $$.  You tell a caterer something is for a wedding and they will almost certainly charge more than if it's a bday party. 

Moral of the story is that it might be best if you look for things at a regular department store or non-bridal selections.  This will probably keep it under $100.  A lot of regular cocktail dresses at Macy's are under $100, anyways.  

If they really won't tell you a price, I usually suggest to choose three somewhat similar dresses from three price ranges.  Don't make them five dollars apart - but more like $50 or $100 apart.  Odds are a girl will not tell you she absolutely loves a $250 dress if she can't afford it.  

MandyLovesMarc

I love their dresses, but could not justify ever picking them, based on their cost!  I'd go another route.

megandjay

Why don't you tell them the price you are considering and ask if that is okay for them or not?

MacFreitas7

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_price-of-bm-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:7a66ffd2-d30b-4e96-b9bd-7eafa09fcb3ePost:be952d1a-f903-4c68-abb2-7980cdd9c936">Re: Price of BM Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]How about you ask THEM what they can afford, instead of just guessing?
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

THIS.

mbcdefg- is your picture the Cliffs of Moher? :)

flamingtwig72

I think that's a fine amount considering they didn't specify a budget. A few things to consider: J Crew dresses are very easy to wear again. They are great to wear to other weddings as a guest, to parties, etc. They also go on sale quite often. A few months ago, I got two dresses for about $50 each (normally around $200). If you designate a color, fabric, and length, the girls may be able to find something on sale. If you're really concerned, you could even go online and see which colors are on sale right now. In any case, I don't think $200-$250 is too much. If it is, it's up to the girls to speak up.

[Deleted User]

I would feel awkward being asked my budget because honestly I'd pay what the bride wanted as long as it was not outrageous- but I guess I'd have to define "outrageous" in the first place.  I'd probably reply like your girls did.

I've been in 3 weddings and have never been asked my budget and it never occurred to me that anyone should ask me.  When I agreed to be in a wedding I'm assuming a certain cost associated with it.  I'm not saying you shouldn't ask- I do think it's the right thing.  I'm just saying I haven't been.

I think reasonable is $100-150.  Stretching it is $150-175.  Over $200 is just too much in my mind.

noodle_oo

I was in a wedding and the dress was J Crew.  It was the Sophia in Silk Tricotine in burgundy.  I was so excited because the dress looked so pretty online, I thought for sure I'd wear it again.

I got it in the mail.  It fit me AWFUL and I kind of hated it.  And it cost me $200.  I will never wear that dress again.

banana468

I like J.Crew but their fit can be funky.

Instead, I'd take your friends shopping for dresses that fit their price points.  While they're being nice, I think what you want is too much.

sister2groom

I think you should try to keep it to $100, maybe $150. A good solution I've seen to JCrew BM dresses is when the couple paid for anything over 100-150.

I liked that idea about sale dresses, BUT I frequent the JCrew sale section A LOT and turnover is pretty fast, so counting on sales is not great. Unless you looked to see there were a couple of different dresses online in your color/fabric and then pretty much immediately bought them.

Actually I looked RIGHT now and on sale there are in Dark Peri (which looks close to your color), cotton, at least sizes 0-16
www.jcrew.com/womens_special_sizes/size16/dresses/PRDOVR~22747/99101919396/ENE~1+2+3+22+4294967294+20~~P_saleprice|0~20+17+4294967097~90~~~~~~~/22747.jsp">
Cotton Cady Erica Dress, $60
www.jcrew.com/womens_special_sizes/size16/dresses/PRDOVR~22747/99101919396/ENE~1+2+3+22+4294967294+20~~P_saleprice|0~20+17+4294967097~90~~~~~~~/22747.jsp">Cotton Cady Madeline Dress, $40
www.jcrew.com/womens_category/dresses/weddingsparties/PRDOVR~17404/99101796520/ENE~1+2+3+22+4294967294+20~~P_saleprice|0~20+17+4294967097~90~~~~~~~/17404.jsp">Cotton Cady Serena Dress, $80
and maybe more, but I can't do it all for you

annakb8

   My bridesmaids and I picked a J Crew dress and I know that there are some less than the 200-250 dollar range. The one I picked, the silk chiffon dress in the sophia style, is 165 dollars at full price. I have noticed that some of the fabrics are more expensive than others, and the silk chiffon seems to be the cheapest. Maybe you should just make sure to pick one of the less expensive fabrics.
    Also, J Crew ALWAYS has sales and other deals. If you pay attention and keep bridesmaids in the loop they can get a great deal. For instance, today J Crew is running a sale where all purchases over $150 are 25% off. I let my bridesmaids know about it so if they choose they can by the dress I picked out for about $123. There are a lot of J Crew bm dresses listed on Ebay as well. 
     Also, I think J Crew dresses are much easier to wear again than other bm dresses. I wore one as a bridesmaid in a wedding two summers ago and I still wear that dress all the time.
     Anyway, if I were you I would talk to them again. Maybe they can't pull a number out of thin air when asked about a budget, but if you asked "would you be ok purchasing one of the dresses in x color and y fabric? The prices range from a-b." It may be easier for them to give you an answer.

ehathewa

I'd like under $150   Can you afford to pay half?

MyNameIsNot

I think I'd go back to them and push a little more for price.

"Hey, I'm starting to look for BM dresses.  Can you believe Kleinfelds sells BM dresses for $700?  You'd pay that for me wouldn't you ?"  "No, ok, what are you really thinking, 200-250, or under 200, or under 150?"  

veritasatori

Thanks, all, for thoughts and suggestions.