so my FMIL gave me a hard time and I eventually gave in to having both of her daughters as my bridesmaids(unofficially - it is still over a yr away). One of them had treated me like dirt (understatement) for probably 4 years and claimed her attitude was in retaliation towards her brother because he hated her boyfriend - but they broke up a year ago and things seem fine since we got engaged 6 months ago. Now it just came out that they are back together and everyone is very upset. My FI whole family is really close and religious (jewish) and it is only one of many problems that the boyfriend promised to convert and over the course of 3 years he has not even begun to follow through. She is 25, lives with her parents and works for them as well, and I don't understand why they feel they wont be able to explain to her that having him there would be very upsetting to a lot of people in his family, including the groom.
It is still a year away and it's possible they won't even be together, but my future in laws don't seem to care how upset everyone is - the whole family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, all hate the guy and have made it extremely clear.
any advice??? no "suck it up its only a day" crap please, because this family is very very close and its not going to be just a day. and I do not have a problem personally with the boyfriend, it's his family that does, but i don't want to have to worry about it during my wedding.