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Maid of honor: Man vs. Groom's Sis

I am trying to put together my wedding party and have a snag.  The obvious choice for my Maid of Honor is my fiance's sister who I love very much.  The only problem is she lives several states away so she wont be able to help me with much.  My other choice is my best friend who's...a gay man.  He's totally stoked on the idea even though it is untraditional.  Martha Stewart says it's okay to have two MOH's but I wouldn't know how to tell them that they both get the title.  Is it fair to have two?  If so, how do I tell them?  If not, how do I choose?

Re: Maid of honor: Man vs. Groom's Sis

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    tidetraveltidetravel member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited May 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-man-vs-grooms-sis?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:7bc1aac6-5a71-4cf3-b08d-d5712098564cPost:18324d33-bb54-4bf5-95e3-3b88123bbd8c">Maid of honor: Man vs. Groom's Sis</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am trying to put together my wedding party and have a snag.  The obvious choice for my Maid of Honor is my fiance's sister who I love very much.  The only problem is she lives several states away so she wont be able to help me with much.  My other choice is my best friend who's...a gay man.  He's totally stoked on the idea even though it is untraditional.  Martha Stewart says it's okay to have two MOH's but I wouldn't know how to tell them that they both get the title.  Is it fair to have two?  If so, how do I tell them?  If not, how do I choose?
    Posted by nikkic3[/QUOTE]

    Your MOH should be the person/persons who are nearest and dearest to your heart.  DO NOT ask someone to be a part of your WP based on what you think they can do for you.  You'll only set yourself up for disappointment. 

    ETA - it's not your MOH's job to help you plan your wedding.  That's what your FI is for.

    2 MOH's are fine - just tell them that you love them both very much and couldn't choose between the two.  Also, mixed gender parties are pretty common these days.  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />
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    The only duty that should be required is to purchase the requested attire that is within their budgets.

    Two MOHs would be absolutely fine, just ask them to be your co-Maid of Honor.
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    my best friend has two MOH in her wedding, me and another girl named Kristen. It's okay that you have two, just make sure they understand. Say that you want both of them there and they are both part of your wedding and a big part of your life.
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    Two MOH's would be just fine.  Or choose whichever of them is your closest friend.

    Remember, MOH duties are limited to getting a dress and showing up.  Anything else they do is purely voluntary, so their ability and desire to plan your wedding shouldn't be added to the equation.
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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited May 2010
    If you've already asked him, then have co-MOHs.  Mixed gender wedding parties are becoming extremely common, and you really can't unask without causing bad feelings.  (Also, sexuality doesn't really enter into it.  My straight brother stood up on my side, and the groomswoman was straight as well.  People should stand with who they're closest to, not who bats for the same team.)

    Remember that a super-helpful MOH is a mixed blessing.  Another person in the planning means another set of opinions that may not necessarily coincide with yours.  I learned that the hard way when my MOH got a little... overenthusiastic and we didn't see eye to eye.  It's really for the best to just plan it with your FI.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-man-vs-grooms-sis?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7bc1aac6-5a71-4cf3-b08d-d5712098564cPost:df4f0501-ee24-461c-86e1-a8e6992b4c51">Re: Maid of honor: Man vs. Groom's Sis</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Maid of honor: Man vs. Groom's Sis : Your MOH should be the person/persons who are nearest and dearest to your heart.  DO NOT ask someone to be a part of your WP based on what you think they can do for you.  You'll only set yourself up for disappointment.  ETA - it's not your MOH's job to help you plan your wedding.  That's what your FI is for. 2 MOH's are fine - just tell them that you love them both very much and couldn't choose between the two.  Also, mixed gender parties are pretty common these days. 
    Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

    This.
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    Read Tide's post again...
    Anniversary
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    Give male friend the title of "Man of Honor" and FSIL "Maid of Honor".
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