Help help help

jesiwid

So I have been planning my wedding for a while now and I have 4 BM's and 4 GM's, two of them are siblings. My fiance came to me the other day and asked if we could just have my sister and his brother in the wedding party and no one else. Our friends that where planned to be in the wedding party used to be really close friends to both of us. But the past few months we have all kind of grown apart. Every one is starting lives with there significant others or live 2 hours awway  so its hard to get together like we used. My question is should I change it to what he wants or keep it how it was planned.?We still see our friends time to time just not like we used to.

frogurt814

If you have already asked them to be members of your WP then they are members of your WP.  End of story.

Friendships change and evolve.  My friendships with my closest friends have changed over the years because we are all going through different stages in our lives.  Do we hang out as much as we use to?  Probably not, but that doesn't mean I didn't want them standing next to me on our wedding day.  They are still my best friends.

There's times I go weeks/months without talking to people who were in our wedding party.  I don't consider us to have drifted apart, nor do I consider them to be any less of friends than I did on the day of and before our wedding.  There are also months that go by when we talk/hang out quite frequently. That's just how it goes sometimes.

aerinpegadrak

Friendships wax and wane.  That's part of life.  I'll go months without talking to a good friend, and then we'll be calling and emailing every day.  But kicking them out of the WP would be kicking them out of your lives for good, and there's really no justification for that.

Instead of jumping straight to the chopping block, why not try to rekindle your friendships with them?  You have eight months until the wedding, a lot of people at that point haven't even asked their WP yet.  That's plenty of time to work things out and try to get closer to them again.  And if the friendship has indeed drifted to the point that you're never going to be as close as you once were, well, that happens, but it's best to still go through with the wedding anyway and then let things run their natural course, so that you're not ending on a bad note that would make it impossible for you to reconnect further down the line.

mbcdefg

Well, how would you feel if a friend came to you and said, "I know I asked you to be a bridesmaid in my wedding, but now I changed my mind and don't want you to be in it anymore"?

Wouldn't you be really hurt and insulted and confused? Then don't do that to your friends.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_help-help-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7dc669d6-4668-46fc-92b6-9e9a0236f639Post:78482983-49a5-45f2-b624-62d22dd33433">Help help help</a>:
[QUOTE]So I have been planning my wedding for a while now and I have 4 BM's and 4 GM's, two of them are siblings. My fiance came to me the other day and asked if we could just have my sister and his brother in the wedding party and no one else. Our friends that where planned to be in the wedding party used to be really close friends to both of us. But the past few months we have all kind of grown apart. Every one is starting lives with there significant others or live 2 hours awway  so its hard to get together like we used. My question is should I change it to what he wants or keep it how it was planned.?We still see our friends time to time just not like we used to.
Posted by jesiwid[/QUOTE]
JIC

lalap69

NO.

jagore08

Leave it the way it is.  It would be rude to boot anyone from your wedding party.

2Bwed2011

This whole situation depends on whether or not you have actually asked them yet.  If you have NOT asked them yet, then great, absolutely you can cut it down and just ask your sister and his brother as your FI wishes.  However, if you HAVE already asked them, then you should NOT, NO, NO-WAY un-ask them or fire them or however you want to phrase it.  That would be really mean and would at the very least have them pissed off at you, if not totally end the friendship altogether.