NWR: All you cat loving knotties, I need some help!

bdulli13

Ladies,

HELP ME! My fiance and I are living apart for a few more weeks while he ties up loose ends in our old town, and I get us settled in the new. Consequently, our (originally his, I am marrying into their family ) cat, Cage, is here with me in the new place. During the day he is find, lazing about and doing his kitty thing. At night, he pulls a Jekyll and Hyde and goes completely bananas, yowling and whining to no end. It usually starts in the middle of the night while I am sleeping, but tonight it started as soon as I got home. It isn't a medical issue, as he was at the vet just weekend before last and is totally healthy. I actually think it is separation anxiety from my fiance not being here, and I don't know what to do. I have tried locking him in the bathroom in the dark to chill him out for a few minutes, those natural drops that are supposed to mellow them out, playing with him until he is tired, everything so it feels.

Is there anything you girls can recommend that might help him chill out, and in turn, let me chill out? I can not take one more night of no sleep, and I hate that he is so wound up!

AutumnFair

I've been around cats most my life and the one thing I do know about inside cats is that some do not like change. So I'm betting it is some kind of separation anxiety. Not much you can do beside either getting some cat nip to make him chillax or ignore his yowling (most of the time impossible because they can go longer than your sanity). My sister's cat is weird because it will sit at the base of her stairs and yowl at both her and her boyfriend to go to bed (kind of like a dog, lol). I would also try to just sit holding and petting him (if he's one that doesn't mind being held) so he relaxes enough that he trusts you. Cats are definitely unpredictable, you have no idea what they really want sometimes.

FYI, look up what is bad for cats. I left my tomato soup on the table two weekends ago and my cat got into it (not a lot, I got her off right when I came from upstairs, she always sneaks up and gets into things) but she got really sick the next day and come to find out that tomatoes are toxic to cats. She was fine by the end of day but I was checking her like a hawk to make sure she didn't get really bad. I was upset at myself the whole day for not cleaning up right away and not knowing something simple like tomatoes were bad for cats.

8daysaweek

Have you asked FI if there's anything you've changed about routine or habits? I had a cat that I rescued during a storm and every freaking night it would howl at me. Finally I realized what it wanted - to go outside! It's previous owners (whom I never managed to locate) must have let it out at night to prowl. Once I started doing that, we were fine and the cat met me at the door every morning when I left for work!

bdulli13

Well, at our old place he was an indoor/outdoor cat. Now he is just an indoor cat because our new apartment is on the second floor, and it's a dual entrance. But he doesn't seem to want to go out-- he doesn't cry at the door, nor does he have any interest in going out on the patio. He actually goes to the bedroom and yowls, and I think it is because the bed frame is there, but not the bed, and he often likes to sleep at my FI's feet at night. No bed + no fiance= unhappy cat. At least, that is what I am guessing.

So far when I google pet separation anxiety, people just get prozac and stuff from their vets, but I really want to avoid that, since this is a temporary situation. The T-Shirt idea sounds like it is worth a shot, and I will try it tonight.

Autumn, wow! Who would have thought, tomatoes? I am very careful (and neurotically clean) about what I leave around but I never would have guessed tomatoes. You must have been so worried!

8days, funny right? When FI first moved in together a year ago, the cat went bananas running from door to door-- we put in a kitty door so he could come and go as he pleased, and we all slept so much better! (Except for those nights when he brought home "presents" for us.) Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the problem here. When he wants to go out, you know it because he goes right to the doors. I wish it was that easy...

LD1970

My sister's a vet and when we were having a cat issue she recommended Feliway (http://www.feliway.com/gb)... it's supposed to calm them down & help with behavior problems.

I ended up not needing it because we found out that the cat's problem was that her idiot prior owner had never gotten her spayed and the poor thing was in heat.  But I'd try it.  Where in NJ are you?  I can try & find the one we bought and give it to you.

bdulli13

Wow, LD, that definitely looks like a product I would love to try. I am in Hillsborough, and FI is in Belmar, but it actually looks like you can order it right on Amazon.com. I have a gift card to use up, so maybe I will just order it-- don't go nuts looking for it. Thanks for the recommendation.

bdulli13

Thanks, LD! I just ordered it, it should be here on Saturday, which is good because FI will be here tomorrow night through Friday night. I will definitely let you know how it works.

For tonight, I will just take a sleeping pill. Maybe I won't hear him ;-)

vixey

My cat also goes BSC at night, not howling though.  He sleeps all day long, and then when I start getting ready for bed he starts full on sprinting from one side of the apartment to the other.  Eventually he stops and goes to sleep himself.  I just chalk it up to the fact that he's a weirdo.

But, he LOVES FIs dirty clothes (he likes FI way more than me).  The second FI throws something on the floor, cat is on it.  So I think the shirt is a great idea.

Sidenote - I like that you took him to the vet already.  I hate when people think their cat is just a nutcase, when really there's some medical issue going on. 

LD1970

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_nwr-cat-loving-knotties-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7f82d63f-45a8-484c-b947-ec80ac054e83Post:65253c76-bee8-488d-affa-fb0a178dc632">Re: NWR: All you cat loving knotties, I need some help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks, LD! I just ordered it, it should be here on Saturday, which is good because FI will be here tomorrow night through Friday night. I will definitely let you know how it works. For tonight, I will just take a sleeping pill. Maybe I won't hear him ;-)
Posted by bdulli13[/QUOTE]
Awesome, I really hope it works!

jerseydevil

Cats hate any kind of change. When I moved in with my FI my cat started howling at night too. I ignore him. They yowl for attention and any that you give him (even if it's a negative reaction) makes it worse. I tried squirting him with water and it didn't help. The only that helped was ignoring him. It's not easy, but it worked for me.

Good luck!

kayakrunhike

I also suggest getting something that your FI has worn for the cat to lay on.  One of our cats, Remy, loves nothing more than cuddling up on my side of the bed when I'm gone, or in one of my favorite sweatshirts.  If your cat likes to curl up with FI, that's entirely a possibility why he is so freaked out. 

I would make sure to play with him a lot, and try spending some time just petting and cuddling with him if he is okay with you for that kind of thing.  As for you, I suggest turning a fan on high and/or ear plugs.    I know it's not ideal, but I have a feeling he will calm down when your FI comes back.

bablingbrooke

My cat gets the night crazies, especially last year when DH was in CA and I was in Boston; she's VERY attached to DH and likes to sleep between us because he is HERS.

Is she a cuddler?  Our cat is more like a dog in that she seeks out affection and will calm down if you pet her.  I found it was worth spending 10 minutes just petting and cuddling her and she would settle down straight away.

bdulli13

You ladies are the greatest, thanks for all the advice.

Last night was a little better when he had one of FI's shirts to lay on. He only woke me up yowling twice, instead of the usual 3-6 times. We played for a long time when I got home tonight, and now he is relaxing peacefully. FI is coming tonight, so hopefully I will get a good nights sleep (or as good as you can get on an air mattress!)

Vixey-- that is EXACTLY what he does... Lays around all day and wants no part of playing or anything, but the second I lay down with a pillow, bam! He is all about the sprint around the house, the yowling, the craziness... It's so weird. Tonight I made him play. And yes, I would never just assume he was being a jerky cat without exhausting all the other options first. I would be so distraught if I found out later there was something wrong healthwise and he had been suffering.

Jersey-- that was the advice FI gave me too... but that's easy for him to say because he doesn't have to listen to it all night, haha. I am trying to take that route, but by the fourth wake up at 4:30am, my patience is gone.

Brooke-- it's actually funny. He can be quite the love bug-- and then not be anymore. He will want to be cuddled and loved, and then he will try and bite you and walk away when he feels like he is quite finished with the attention. He's a piece of work.