Bridesmaid wants to bring friend (not boyfriend)?!?!?!?

agray315

My wedding is now about a month and a half away.  We sent out invitations and are receiving rsvp's now (which is great!!).  My future sister-in-law, and also bridesmaid, sent hers back saying two would be attending.  My FH and I assumed she meant her boyfriend of 2+ years.  When we met up with her this past weekend she told us she didn't even ask her boyfriend but is bringing one of her best girl friends.  We don't know this girl at all.  I feel a little uncomfortable with the entire situation!  If she didn't know any of our other friends or any family or anyone I would understand not wanting to go to a wedding alone...but she is family and in the wedding and knows over half of the guest list! 

How should I handle this?? We wanted to allow significant others to sit at the head tables with us since almost all are married...but should I let this friend sit there too???  Should I just say she isn't invited?? How can I do that without being rude?  I don't know if my hesitation is normal or if I'm just over reacting--Please help!

gottahavashorti

What did the envelope of the invitation say?  "BM and bf" or "BM and guest?"

Licia&Wayne

Did you address her invitation to her and boyfriend or just her and guest?

I have to say, it is a little strange to me that she chose to bring a friend over her boyfriend, but who knows? Maybe he couldn't come?

And really, you expected her to have a date, does it really matter who it is? It's not like she's bringing 5 instead of 1. And of course you would seat her with her friend.

Edit: If you did address it to her and her boyfriend and she's choosing to bring a friend, well, that's her faux pas. It might be worth it, in that case, to let her know that you invited her and her boyfriend only.

baystateapple

Why isn't she bringing her bf?  Is he going to be away or unavailable that weekend?

If she's just bringing a friend because she wants to, I'd probably say "no, the invite is for your boyfriend, it's non-transferable."  BUt if her bf is away for the weekend, and she wants to bring a replacement guest, I would go ahead and let her.  You'll meet the friend at the rehearsal dinner anyway, so it won't be AS awkward.

CA2MT4EveR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-wants-bring-friend-not-boyfriend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7f8e4db7-3809-4133-9460-695f2c7a59a1Post:f3435572-1f0a-48ad-90aa-0908f29c2878">Bridesmaid wants to bring friend (not boyfriend)?!?!?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding is now about a month and a half away.  We sent out invitations and are receiving rsvp's now (which is great!!).  My future sister-in-law, and also bridesmaid, sent hers back saying two would be attending.  My FH and I assumed she meant her boyfriend of 2+ years.  When we met up with her this past weekend she told us she didn't even ask her boyfriend but is bringing one of her best girl friends.  <strong>We don't know this girl at all. </strong> I feel a little uncomfortable with the entire situation!  If she didn't know any of our other friends or any family or anyone I would understand not wanting to go to a wedding alone...but she is family and in the wedding and knows over half of the guest list!  How should I handle this?? We wanted to allow significant others to sit at the head tables with us since almost all are married...but should I let this friend sit there too???  Should I just say she isn't invited?? How can I do that without being rude?  I don't know if my hesitation is normal or if I'm just over reacting--Please help!
Posted by agray315[/QUOTE]

What if you had another WP member who brought a random date you didn't know.  Maybe her BF is uncomfortable in groups or social settings, or maybe he has to work.  What if she doesn't get a lot of time with her friend and this would be a great time for them to have fun and catch up.  There are so many different scenarios that can come in to why she chose her friend as her date, but the bottom line is that it really does not matter.  You will not even notice

agray315

I guess I should have specified that we addressed the envelope to her and her boyfriend and her reason for not asking him was because she thought he couldn't get off work to come to the wedding. (our wedding is on a Friday evening.)  It is strange that she didn't want to invite him but according to my FH she hasn't ever really brough boyfriends around the family...so that is understandable.

Thanks everyone for the feedback, I guess that's true, other guests will most likely bring significant others whom I have never met so she shouldn't be any exception!  I guess at first I was just a little offended that she just assumed she could bring her friends without running it by us. But I have too many other details to worry about

emilyinchile

If you invited FSIL and BF, she is wrong for bringing anyone else. BUT, honestly, I don't think it's worth the drama to get into a conversation about her not bringing the friend - her argument will probably be that you've already budgeted for and had a seat for this person.

You seem to have the right attitude about it, so just sit this guest next to your BM and call it a day.

mbcdefg

I can understand being a bit peeved that she just substituted a friend for an invited guest without running it by you first, but I would personally brush it off and let her bring the friend.

aerinpegadrak

Our groomswoman brought a friend instead of her boyfriend.  She didn't feel the relationship was serious enough at that point to bring him to an out-of-town wedding.  We didn't have a problem with it.  (She actually brought two friends, though she ran it by us first.)

I think you're right in letting it go.  It's not like it's affecting your head count, and I doubt you'll even notice the friend.

trix1223

OP:  Good for you for listening with an open mind and accepting suggestions.  I like you.  Come back and play often.

melissamc2

All of our wedding party are allowed a guest each.  I don't really care if it's their favourite check out clerk at the grocery store,  I want them to have whoever will help them have the best time possible at our wedding.  Plus, I already count that meal as paid for, so I want it to be eaten.

agray315

Thanks everyone! Your feedback really helped put things into perspective.  I know I shouldn't worry about the little things so much...I'm working on letting things go and not being so uptight....haha.

Thanks again!