Divorce and Bridal Parties

xaster57

This is a very complicated question, and one that is very emotional for me. My brother and sister-in law are in the process of going through a very tough divorce for which he was almost entirely responsible. I had long desired to have my sister-in-law in my bridal party and am now at the point where I must actually make the notifications. Is it still appropriate to include her in the bridal party when I know that her presence at my wedding (which my brother will of course attend) will likely cause drama and posisbly tears?

Help! I'm really struggling to make the right decision for my family and my wedding!

gottahavashorti

Personally, I'd probably keep in touch with the SIL and let her know you are there for her if she needs anything, maybe try to go out to coffee or lunch with her once in a while.  I would probably not include her in the WP, particularly if the divorce is recent/in progress.  If it were a particularly amicable separation rather than a really tough one, I might ask the brother waht he thinks first.

Keep in mind that if your wedding is more than 6 months away, you can wait a bit on asking your wedding party.

gottahavashorti

Just saw that your wedding date is over a year away.  A lot can happen in a year.  You might find that you don't keep in touch with SIL when all is said and done, or that she and your brother are able to quietly avoid each other without stirring up drama.

mbcdefg

Ditto ... wait it out a while and see what happens. The problem might solve itself.

Personally, though, if you haven't already asked her to be a bridesmaid then I would not do so. I'm sure she will understand that you need to remain loyal to your family.

bablingbrooke

Wait until you're 6-9 months away from the wedding then worry about this.  They may have settled things, you may not want her anymore, and frankly your wedding is probably the last thing she wants to think about right now; I know I wouldn't want to hear about wedding plans if I were going through a nasty divorce.  Be a friend to her during this time and ask about the wedding later.  Brace yourself for her to say no, given everything that happened, and not to take it personally if she does.