Wedding Party Invitations

hbolly2323

I have found wedding party invitations for my bridesmaids but was wondering how soon is too soon to send them out?  I want my friend to help me plan most of it but would really like to ask her and all of them by sending out these really cute cookie invitations.  I am getting married September 3rd, 2011?  Any suggestions would be great!

bablingbrooke

Your friends aren't your wedding planners.  You and your FI (and the planner, if you hire one) are the wedding planners.  Let that expectation go before it gets you into trouble--scroll down the page and see post after post about girls complaining that their BMs wouldn't help plan.  Best not to get your hopes up in the first place--that way you can only be pleasantly surprised.

You don't need to send WP invitations--you can just call them up and ask them or do so in person.  Which I personally recommend because then you get to experience their reactions.  Invites have also been known to get lost in the mail.

To answer your question, I'm of the belief that you can ask the WP once you've crossed the year mark.  Others recommend 6-9 months.  It should at least be after you have the venues booked, rough guest list, and budget.  Wedding plans have been known to change and you don't want to paint yourself into a corner.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:82296385-399e-41df-8407-03ac3ef87ff6Post:9589e1b1-26c8-4283-a43c-7d551f91fb0b">Wedding Party Invitations</a>:
[QUOTE]I have found wedding party invitations for my bridesmaids but was wondering how soon is too soon to send them out?  <strong>I want my friend to help me plan most of it</strong> but would really like to ask her and all of them by sending out these really cute cookie invitations.  I am getting married September 3rd, 2011?  Any suggestions would be great!
Posted by hbolly2323[/QUOTE]

You don't choose a WP based on who will help you plan it.  Your wedding means it's yours to plan and execute.  If your friend OFFERS to help with any details, you're certainly welcome to accept.  However, it is NOT at all the responsibility of anyone but you and your FI to plan your wedding.

As for asking:  If you're getting married on Sept. 3 next year, I'd ask around Christmas at the earliest.  And you don't need a cookie to ask.  Just call up your friends and ask them to do you the honor of standing next to you during your wedding ceremony.

The honor is in BEING asked, not in HOW you're asked. 

suz62984

Don't choose your wedding party based on who will help you plan. This is the biggest mistake you could make. Why? Because when you choose someone with expectations of planning help you will be disappointed. If you need help planning hire someone but don't count on your friends as cheap labor. Also, no one will be as excited about your wedding as you are. When you start talking about plans and a BM doesn't get excited don't decide to boot her. Just remember that not everyone is into weddings or planning them, especially if it isn't theirs.

Honestly, at the 1 year mark you need to begin looking at venues, budgets, and guest lists. Wait until about 8 months out before you ask your wedding party. It will save you a lot of headache!

mbcdefg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:82296385-399e-41df-8407-03ac3ef87ff6Post:9589e1b1-26c8-4283-a43c-7d551f91fb0b">Wedding Party Invitations</a>:
[QUOTE]I have found wedding party invitations for my bridesmaids but was wondering how soon is too soon to send them out?  I want my friend to help me plan most of it but would really like to ask her and all of them by sending out these really cute cookie invitations.  I am getting married September 3rd, 2011?  Any suggestions would be great!
Posted by hbolly2323[/QUOTE]

I would wait until after New Year's to ask anyone to be in your bridal party.

Cookies are fine but not mandatory. Your call. I just asked them in person.

Bridesmaids are not required to help you plan your wedding. And you should not be asking someone to be a bridesmaid mainly because you think she will be a good helper. Ask her because she is a very close friend, and if she wants to help you out then she will offer. (It helps not to get your expectations up because the higher they are, the more you will be disappointed, especially when you expect help but never ask for it.)

It's fine to say once in a while, "Would you mind giving me an opinion between these three bouquets?/If you are free next Thursday, would you be able to come to the DJ appointment with me? No big deal if you can't make it. We can go for drinks afterward, my treat./Do you think you could help me assemble favors at some point? I'll order pizza and buy some wine and we can watch a movie."

But asking for help very often (especially when the girl doesn't offer it) could give a friend wedding burnout. You should turn to your FI for help first. He's the only person besides you who's required to plan the wedding. Or let your hired vendors/a hired planner do the work. Or, if you can't handle it all, scale back the plans so that they're manageable.  

balasj

If you think you could change your mind then wait a little.  If you have no doubt in your mind that you want these girls in your party then go for it whenever you want.  There isn't a date "rule" for this type of thing.

As far as comments go about 'help planning' - everyone is different.  I've seen a lot of posts on here about it not being the girls' responsibilities to help you plan but in my experience, several of my girlfriends and I were more than excited to help one another when asked.  But we're a pretty traditional bunch.  Of course, be sure to ask politely for help, don't just expect it.  'Please' and 'thank you' does wonders as always.

You know your friends best so just your best judgement on this :-)

duckie1905

Your friends aren't your automatic wedding planners.  You hire someone to do that (and pay them for their time/work) or you do it yourself.  It sounds like you are assuming she'll help and so you want to jump and as the WP now so that she can start doing your bidding immediately.  It doesn't work like that.

Choose your WP 6-9 months before to ensure (as much as possible) that your relationships with these women won't change and they really can change.

After that you wait for someone to offer help, you ask for help with the firm understanding that they are under no obligation to say yes, you ask your FI to assist, you scale back plans so you can handle it, or you hire someone.

You do not assume that your BM will be your planner.