Can my select girlfriends be "special guests" instead of Bridesmaids?

[Deleted User]

I would love to have 7 bridesmaids, however my fiance is only having 2. While I know uneven sides is ok, I dont want to ask more than 2 because if I do that - I feel like I need to ask all 7, otherwise feelings will be hurt. I do not like the whole "ask a friend to do something like a reading instead of being a bridesmaid" idea because I do not plan to have any readings at my ceremony. Can I somehow show my special feelings for these 5 additional girls who will not be bridesmaids? ie, can they be "special guests?"  All these girls understand my problem, but I do want to somehow seperate them as "special" from the other general guests. Any thoughts and/ or ideas? thank you!!!

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_can-my-select-girlfriends-be-special-guests-instead-of-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:831df46b-04e3-44be-8d21-57e96389eef7Post:9ed04f2f-ef93-4d7d-b29e-dc5ef9860170">Can my select girlfriends be "special guests" instead of Bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would love to have 7 bridesmaids, however my fiance is only having 2. While I know uneven sides is ok, I dont want to ask more than 2 because if I do that - I feel like I need to ask all 7, otherwise feelings will be hurt. I do not like the whole "ask a friend to do something like a reading instead of being a bridesmaid" idea because I do not plan to have any readings at my ceremony. Can I somehow show my special feelings for these 5 additional girls who will not be bridesmaids? ie, can they be "special guests?" and perhaps still have a corsage or bouquet? or wear my color? would this be tacky? if not, could they still walk the aisle, and just not stand during the ceremony? All these girls understand my problem, but I do want to somehow seperate them as "special" from the other general guests. Any thoughts and/ or ideas? thank you!!!
Posted by riannenrings[/QUOTE]

So you want them to have flowers, wear the same dresses and walk down the aisle but not be BMs? But that's exactly what the BMs will do. I personally would be hurt if a friend said, "I'd like you to wear a BM dress, carry flowers, and walk down the aisle with the BMs, but you won't be able to stand up with me at the ceremony and you won't be called a BM." Do you see where I'm coming from? I would honestly either make them part of your WP or just invite them to your wedding as guests.

OBX2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_can-my-select-girlfriends-be-special-guests-instead-of-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:831df46b-04e3-44be-8d21-57e96389eef7Post:9ed04f2f-ef93-4d7d-b29e-dc5ef9860170">Can my select girlfriends be "special guests" instead of Bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would love to have 7 bridesmaids, however my fiance is only having 2. While I know uneven sides is ok, I dont want to ask more than 2 because if I do that - I feel like I need to ask all 7, otherwise feelings will be hurt. I do not like the whole "ask a friend to do something like a reading instead of being a bridesmaid" idea because I do not plan to have any readings at my ceremony. Can I somehow show my special feelings for these 5 additional girls who will not be bridesmaids? ie, can they be "special guests?" and perhaps still have a corsage or bouquet? or wear my color? would this be tacky? if not, could they still walk the aisle, and just not stand during the ceremony? All these girls understand my problem, but I do want to somehow seperate them as "special" from the other general guests. Any thoughts and/ or ideas? thank you!!!
Posted by riannenrings[/QUOTE]

If you want them to feel "special" then just include them in your WP.  Uneven sides reaaaalllly are ok.  In your own mind, what about having 7 do you not like? 

Maggie0829

Just ask who you want for your wedding party, the rest invite as guests.

Giving them a weird title such as "special guest" is like giving a loser a trophy just so they won't feel so bad.

Being a guest is an honor in itself.

Caitlin192

When my cousin got married, he and his wife only had a best man and MOH- no wedding party. She and I are very close so she invited me, my sister, and her BFF to get ready in the suite with her and her sister. I thought it was a really sweet gesture and we got to spend some time together. When she went to do pictures, my sister and I took our seats at the ceremony.

GoodLuckBear14

Just invite them as guests.  If a friend told me that I was going to be a "special guest" for her wedding, my reaction would honestly be "WTF?!!?"  I have sat as a guest at the weddings of some of my closest friends and was not at all offended at not being in the WP.  Getting a consolation prize definitely would offend me - almost as much as being given a stupid job like guest book attendant.

ETA - and as a non - "special guest", I would be having an ever bigger WTF?!?!?!?! reaction.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_can-my-select-girlfriends-be-special-guests-instead-of-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:831df46b-04e3-44be-8d21-57e96389eef7Post:9ed04f2f-ef93-4d7d-b29e-dc5ef9860170">Can my select girlfriends be "special guests" instead of Bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would love to have 7 bridesmaids, however my fiance is only having 2. While I know uneven sides is ok, I dont want to ask more than 2 because if I do that - I feel like I need to ask all 7, otherwise feelings will be hurt. I do not like the whole "ask a friend to do something like a reading instead of being a bridesmaid" idea because I do not plan to have any readings at my ceremony. Can I somehow show my special feelings for these 5 additional girls who will not be bridesmaids? ie, can they be "special guests?" and perhaps still have a corsage or bouquet? or wear my color? would this be tacky? if not, could they still walk the aisle, and just not stand during the ceremony? All these girls understand my problem, but I do want to somehow <strong>seperate them as "special" from the other general guests. </strong>Any thoughts and/ or ideas? thank you!!!
Posted by riannenrings[/QUOTE]

Please really think about how that sounds.

Summer2011Bride

Why the DD? You were quoted. Changing your title to something like this also entices MORE people to come in and read the thread.

OBX2011

Why the delete OP?  I was being serious when I asked what about having 7 BM's did you not like?

You have to do what is right for you in the long run, we were just giving our opinions on the matter.  It's not a bad idea, so don't think that way at all.

[Deleted User]

ahh sorry i wasnt sure how to say "10-4" so i  thought that might help. ive never used this forum.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_can-my-select-girlfriends-be-special-guests-instead-of-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:831df46b-04e3-44be-8d21-57e96389eef7Post:cc11ef5a-6488-4c40-9f35-1d1a37f2b416">Re: nevermind!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why the DD? You were quoted. Changing your title to something like this also entices MORE people to come in and read the thread.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

[Deleted User]

i heard loud and clear from everyone, some in nicer ways than others, that what i was thinking was a bad idea, so i felt embarrassed and wanted to stop the influx of slaps on thw writst coming my way! I dont like the idea of having 7 bridesmaid on one side and only 1-2 guys on the other. just from a visual standpoint. also, we are having a small wedding, so i think it is sort of silly to have so many up there..leaving....few friends left as guests. My friends all understand my situation and i thought someone might have a good idea as to a way i can honor them somehow, but all i really got back was how offensive it is. so...that's that! :)


In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_can-my-select-girlfriends-be-special-guests-instead-of-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:831df46b-04e3-44be-8d21-57e96389eef7Post:bd45ff64-362f-4ffd-99d6-2b0544f84d53">Re: nevermind!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why the delete OP?  I was being serious when I asked what about having 7 BM's did you not like? You have to do what is right for you in the long run, we were just giving our opinions on the matter.  It's not a bad idea, so don't think that way at all.
Posted by OBX2011[/QUOTE]

OBX2011

Don't feel embarrassed at all.  You asked for opinions/suggestions and you got them.  While some may have been nicer than others in your mind, at least they were honest, right?

The boards can be tough sometimes, but don't take it personally--unless you are being an asshat of course, but that's a completely different subject.  Anyways, ask questions, but don't be afraid to hear comments that YOU personally may not like.  It's part of the dynamics of the boards.  Stick around and you will see

[Deleted User]

thank you very much, I appreciate that :)


In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_can-my-select-girlfriends-be-special-guests-instead-of-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:831df46b-04e3-44be-8d21-57e96389eef7Post:93c42dc8-af40-4f0c-932f-d8596843fc50">Re: Can my select girlfriends be "special guests" instead of Bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't feel embarrassed at all.  You asked for opinions/suggestions and you got them.  While some may have been nicer than others in your mind, at least they were honest, right? The boards can be tough sometimes, but don't take it personally--unless you are being an asshat of course, but that's a completely different subject.  Anyways, ask questions, but don't be afraid to hear comments that YOU personally may not like.  It's part of the dynamics of the boards.  Stick around and you will see :)
Posted by OBX2011[/QUOTE]

cwaggoner07

And just as a general rule, I think it's totally bizarre to have a large wedding party (even or not) and a smaller overall guest list. It's like, fill the seats please!!

mcskatcat

The only thing I would add to everyone else is that maybe you could do a photo of you all if you want to remember them that day.  I agree that asking them to buy all that stuff and do the fanfare isn't really an honor unless they are going to be BMs.