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Sisterly....something

nickyjohannickyjohan
First Comment
in Wedding Party

I have two younger sisters. To make a long story short, we aren't the closest. We've had many issues--they are two people who will take advantage of you, kick you in the teeth and act like nothing happened the next day and wonder why you are upset at them. 

I don't want either of them in my bridal party. I have chosen 3 people who I love very much and are like sisters to me--more so than my real sisters.

I get that the natural answer is "Why do you want to do anything at all for them, however, I feel like I need to honor my sisters in some way. Mostly out of guilt and because my mother wants me to (I know that sounds terrible).

Any suggestions?

Nicky Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that. Wedding Countdown Ticker
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Re: Sisterly....something

  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Ask them to do readings, or sing/play instruments if they're musically talented. Any role beyond that starts to creep into the "busywork/made-up-out-of-pity" category and will probably piss them off.

    You could get them corsages and have them seated in the processional as persons of honor, and list them in the program under "Family."

    If your mother will start World War III over them not being bridesmaids, and you don't feel like arguing with her for the next 12 Thanksgivings, just ask them to be bridesmaids and expect nothing more from them than to get the dresses and show up to the ceremony (which is all that ANY bridesmaid is required to do, anyway).
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited September 2010
    So I really don't mean to sound snarky, but seriously, were the other four posts on this topic in the last hour seriously not enough for you to get the consensus of this board (including the one you just responded to)?  Your situation is no different.  If you don't want them in the WP, ask them to be readers or guests.  But don't come up with some crap job for grown women to do so they feel "included".

    Some food for thought: I have one sister and she and I are not remotely close and have not been for years.  In our family it's unthinkable to not have a sibling in the WP, so my sister was my MOH.  She was the world's worst MOH: tried to ruin things, threw tantrums, etc.  I mean she actually TRIED to ruin pre-wedding parties.  However, I have zero regrets about asking her.  I would not have done anything differently.  She didn't ruin the wedding, she did everything she was supposed to do (buy the dress, show up, sign the license) and even surprised me by giving a short-but-sweet toast.  I may lose touch with my friends, but she will always be my sister.  If I can feel that way after the wedding, trust me, you can too.  Just something to think about.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary

    Ushers perhaps?

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  • nickyjohannickyjohan
    First Comment
    Well, bablingbrooke , if you didn't mean to sound snarky, you kinda failed. Not that it matters to me, I mean if it made you feel better to get that off your chest, more power to you. Smile

    Anyways, I guess the corsages are enough. mbcdefg :"You could get them corsages and have them seated in the processional as persons of honor, and list them in the program under "Family."
    Maybe that's a good idea to just say in the program : Other special people we'd like to honor or something. Thanks for the suggestion.
    Nicky Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that. Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_sisterlysomething?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:83501e3d-d5ef-466b-92a5-6a0f4b39c7d0Post:bc0cb898-167e-4229-a783-af80a50a7caa">Re: Sisterly....something</a>:
    [QUOTE]Actually I'm not really sure what you are talking about...I responded to a thread on having a 25 year old brother as a groomsman. Other than that I haven't responded to anything. But anyways, like I said, I hope you feel better now. Have a great day!
    Posted by nickyjohan[/QUOTE]

    Passive aggressive much?
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  • knottief7f08860652a16bfknottief7f08860652a16bf member
    Knottie Warrior 10 Comments Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    #1 I like the program  & corsage idea too!

    #2 not everybody reads every thread on all of the boards, so sometimes new brides ask previously asked questions.  How many times have we see the "should SO's be at the head table" question, or "are cash bars tacky?" etc. etc.  It's ok and def. not something you have to justify!  :)  
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Basic netiquette says that you should scroll the first page of a message board to see if your question has already been asked, and if you responded to someone else's question that was asking the exact same thing as you, then you deserve snark.  
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    To PP, the beauty of the boards is that married women STILL post.


    And doesn't it make sense?   I'm pregnant now and I'm not asking my friends who never had kids what childbirth was like.  Why get wedding advice frome people who've never been there?
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  • kathrynhabibtikathrynhabibti member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    [QUOTE]TO ALL OF THOSE ABOVE BEING NEGATIVE ESPECIALLY BABLINGBROOKE..  My question to you is why the hell are you even commenting if you are already married? Are you not happy or satisfied with your life or something?  I am sorry to tell you sweetheart but your wedding is over and I think it is time you get off the boards. 
    <strong>Most would rather have people who have been through it, or are giving advice that they've received through others' experience, help guide them.
    </strong>
    Obviously you dont have anything positive to contribute so stop commenting and try to be mature princess.
    <strong>This just doesn't make sense. Not agreeing/not being positive ≠ not being mature.</strong>

    And who do you think you are to say  "It does beg the question though: Why wasn't the advice on other threads enough for you?  Why did you have to create your own thread...after offering advice on the *exact* same topic to someone else?   Are you serious? I honestly can not believe you even wrote this comment. What is it to you if she posted 20 new topics about the same thing? Once again you have no business making comments like this and once again aren't you married??  This website is to help new brides and gives an opportunity for others to connect on ideas. POSITIVE IDEAS MRS. NEGATIVE  
    <strong>She asked that because, as Brooke said, the OP gave the same advice she's receiving now, on the exact same situation on another thread. Her situation is no different, with the exception of the question having to do with the opposite gender. And not everything has to be positive. Where do people get this idea that it does? </strong>

    At least Nicky has backbone enough to realize that the wedding day is about her and FH and decided to have people in her wedding party that will make her happy.  Instead of "She was the world's worst MOH: tried to ruin things, threw tantrums, etc.  I mean she actually TRIED to ruin <em>pre-wedding</em> parties."    Oh and that sounds like so much fun to have to  have dealt with that on your wedding day. :)
    <strong>Reasonably sure Brooke didn't deal with pre-wedding parties on her wedding day. She said that her wedding day went fine.</strong>

    Nicky I think you can figure out a way to make your sisters recognized but remember this day is about you and FH and you can not always please everyone so dont sweat the small stuff.  Your day will be amazing!
    <strong>I do agree with you there - I believe she'll be able to find a suitable solution and have a lovely wedding day.</strong>
    Posted by kailapennington[/QUOTE]
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  • kathrynhabibtikathrynhabibti member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited September 2010
    [QUOTE]To PP, the beauty of the boards is that married women STILL post. And doesn't it make sense?   <strong>I'm pregnant now and I'm not asking my friends who never had kids what childbirth was like.</strong>  Why get wedding advice frome people who've never been there?
    Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]
    Don't listen to those idiots who've done it before. It's an absolute breeze. It doesn't even hurt, I'm sure of it.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Wow, I didn't see that tirade!  I think I saw my sister for a total of 15 minutes on the wedding day and those 15 minutes went fine.  Our wedding was wonderful--I wouldn't have done it any other way.  That's the beauty of having married ladies on here (and why I always mention my sister): we can tell you that no matter what shiit people pull before the wedding, it makes no difference at the wedding or afterward.  Which is why its' best to let it go.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    No, Stage, clearly I have issues in my life, am depressed, and I have nothing better to do than sit around making engaged girls miserable about their weddings.  Clearly that is what is going on here.  My poor DH is just miserable.  

    I mean all of this is a consequence of having common sense, right?  
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I think it makes us both extra awesome.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
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