Man of Honor Dilemma

WhitGun10

I asked my cousin to be my Man of Honor when I got engaged. I have already set aside money in my budget to provide transportation for him. The problem I am having is that he refuses to come to wedding if I do not pay for his boyfriend/fiance to come. I do not have the money to pay for his boyfriend as well as him. I need advice on how to handle the situation.

tidetravel

You're not under any obligation to pay for him to come, thus, are certainly not obligated to pay his date's way as well.

He's being a jerkwad.

trix1223

You do not have to pay for his s/o.  If he refuses, call his bluff.  "We will not be able to pay for your s/o's expenses for the wedding, but we certainly plan to invite him as a guest.  What's that?  You won't come if we don't pay?  I'm sorry to hear that.  You'll be sorely missed."

Whippet8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_man-of-honor-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:860a08ce-194b-452a-8750-35dcc1c8dfa0Post:0d3ed756-1f7c-42d4-9d32-c22defbfb8a1">Re: Man of Honor Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]You do not have to pay for his s/o.  If he refuses, call his bluff.  "We will not be able to pay for your s/o's expenses for the wedding, but we certainly plan to invite him as a guest.  What's that?  You won't come if we don't pay?  I'm sorry to hear that.  You'll be sorely missed."
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

THIS. And, I think he's being a real ass to demand something like that.

saisongbird

At this point, if it were me, I'd rescind the offer to pay for him!  But seriously, call his bluff.  Maybe he's interpreting it as you're not inviting his bf, since you're not paying for him?

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_man-of-honor-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:860a08ce-194b-452a-8750-35dcc1c8dfa0Post:0d3ed756-1f7c-42d4-9d32-c22defbfb8a1">Re: Man of Honor Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]You do not have to pay for his s/o.  If he refuses, call his bluff.  "We will not be able to pay for your s/o's expenses for the wedding, but we certainly plan to invite him as a guest.  What's that?  You won't come if we don't pay?  I'm sorry to hear that.  You'll be sorely missed."
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

That's about as perfect a response as you could ask for.  He's being a jerk and I'd consider yourself well shut of him if he declines to come when you put your foot down.

bbyckes

I'm jumping on the trix train as the response to go with.  That is awfully presumptive of him.  I hope this works out for you. 

WhitGun10

Thanks for all the advice. I talked to my mom and she said they could ride with her up but if he doesn't take that, then I can do nothing else. I just hate to see one of my best friends miss my wedding because of his arrogance.