Very lopsided wedding toasts...

alissa.niblock

My fiance has 2 best men and i have 2 maids of honor.  Both of his best men are giving a toast at the reception, but neither of my girls are big talkers.  In fact, a few years ago when my sister (maid of honor 1) got married, we made an "agreement" that I didn't have to give a toast at her wedding, and she wouldn't have to in the future, at mine.  Probably a bad decision on my part, but it sounded great at the time..we are both petrified of public speaking.  But, if I ask someone else to give a toast from my side to make up for it, I know that she will be hurt, and will feel like everyone is judging her as a "bad" maid of honor.  The tricky part here is that my fiance will have TWO of his guys speaking for him, versus NONE for me.  Our wedding coordinator kind of suggested that it might make people wonder why no one has anything to say from my side...

I would appreciate any advice--my wedding is only 2 weeks away!!

Thank you!

aerinpegadrak

I don't think people will wonder why no one is speaking from your side.  They'll just be happy that they can get back to the party sooner.

mbcdefg

I don't think your guests are going to care enough about the toasts to wonder why you don't have a bridesmaid speaking for you.

Plus, most people will probably assume that your bridal party members are representing BOTH of you, not just the same-sex person. I doubt the guys will not mention you in their speech at all.

Most weddings I've attended have only had the Best Man give a speech. At my wedding, my sister/MOH's speech was about two lines wishing us well (20 seconds) that she probably just came up with on the fly, and the Best Man had a prepared speech with lots of jokes that took a couple minutes, and he addressed both my husband and myself in the speech.

You're worrying about something that the guests probably aren't going to give two craps about. Most wedding guests are just interested in a toast being short and not horribly awkward. In fact, the fewer speeches they have to sit through, the better (the sooner they can get to eating and dancing/mingling).

Relax!

mysticl

When I went to weddings as a kid the BM gave the toasts.  In my experience it seems like MOH giving a toast is a relativly new thing. 

Besides the toasts are to the B&G so any toast given should be to the both of you.  Doesn't matter who's giving it.

emilykathleen511

I agree with the previous posters, but I will also add that I don't think there is any reason why you can't ask another one of your bridesmaids to give a toast. It is not a slight on your MOH, it is just one of your close friends toasting you and your new husband.

bablingbrooke

Your wedding coordinator was out of bounds to say that.  It's not remotely true and how dare she say something to make you question things.

No one has to give any toasts.  They're not mandatory and most people really only sit through them politely waiting to get on to the food.

MissButters

I'm not asking anyone on my side to give a toast.  If they want to, then they can.. otherwise, if it's just the best man and no one else, fine with me!  I would hate to put anyone on the spot by making them feel like they have to do something cause I asked (this is just me!  I hate public speaking so I don't want to impose on anyone else).

quotequeen

You certainly don't need anyone to give a toast for you, but if you wanted (and they were willing) one of your parents could give one.

Viczaesar

My only thought when listening to toasts is "Are they done yet?"  The fewer the people giving toasts, the better, as far as I'm concerned.

ehathewa

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_very-lopsided-wedding-toasts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:86f8bd13-1ae8-4cc7-980d-e90d7579797fPost:4b2f7c0d-f87c-43ee-86c8-ce8c5bbab44c">Re: Very lopsided wedding toasts...</a>:
[QUOTE]My only thought when listening to toasts is "Are they done yet?"  The fewer the people giving toasts, the better, as far as I'm concerned.
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

Really?  If it is a good toast, I really enjoy hearing about the couple.  I might also add that I continue to eat through toasts, so maybe that helps :) . 

trix1223

Your guests will only care if there are too many toasts.  They won't think a thing about having fewer toasts.

At my son and DIL's wedding, his best man gave a toast.  MOH doesn't like to be in the spotlight, so she didn't.  I don't think a single person asked why.

At my niece's wedding, FOB (my BIL) gave a lovely speech.  Then MOG gave a speech.  Then Best Man gave a speech.  Then MOH gave a speech.  Then every freakin' BM and GM gave speeches. 

By the time they reached the BM and GM, people had simply stopped listening and returned to their conversations.

Let the guys make a speech.  Don't add any others.  Your guests will adore you.

megk8oz

From what I've been able to gather, the MOH giving a toast is a pretty "new" thing ... most people "expect" the Best Man to say a little something, but that's kind of it. I really don't know where your coordinator came up with that (Or why she was so unprofessional as to say anything about it).

Anyway, like PP said: nobody will notice a lack of toasts, they will notice too many of them, though. Two people speaking (Regardless of their gender or who's "side" they stood on) is fine.