Has anyone noticed.....

marissa_claire

I see this on here a lot sometimes, but it seems that being a bride is synonymous with being a bad friend.  Seriously, how many girls do we have on here complaining that their friend isn't being a good enough friend because they aren't dropping the world for a wedding?  And every time I see a post like that I'm wondering how horrible that bride is a being just as a friend to someone who supposedly is their best friend in the whole world.  I just wonder if these ladies have any friends left when it's said and done.

jaimed99

I wonder that as well, a good deal of the time. The brides here posting about their friends/BMs/FSILs who have much more pressing issues to deal with, like abusive husbands/bfs, divorces, pregnancies, new jobs, or just plain financial problems, are being made out to look like terrible people because they aren't putting aside their obviously more important issues for what is, essentially, a big party.

I could never imagine making my friends/FSILs put their own lives aside for me. If they are able to make it in the dress, that's fantastic. If they aren't able to get the dress, they are more than welcome to be there as guests...they are my family and friends and I'd like them to be such after it's all said and done

SSaltzman87

I think some brides develop tunnel vision when it comes to their weddings and don't realize that they and the people in their lives have other things going on. Life happens no matter what. Weddings don't make time or life stop.

I'm a big believer in karma and anyone that's being a bridezilla will get a swift kick in the arse sooner or later.

banana468

I also think some people are just out of touch with reality.  A good friend has a sister who seriously just doesn't "get" it.  The choices she makes do have an affect on others ahd I think some people are unfortunately oblivious.

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_anyone-noticed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:889ba03b-9456-4f8f-8c7a-2b77e2d5b0a6Post:8c52b217-ca19-42a2-81cc-a4390e76a95b">Re: Has anyone noticed.....</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I think some brides develop tunnel vision when it comes to their weddings and don't realize that they and the people in their lives have other things going on</strong>. Life happens no matter what. Weddings don't make time or life stop. I'm a big believer in karma and anyone that's being a bridezilla will get a swift kick in the arse sooner or later.
Posted by SSaltzman87[/QUOTE]
This times a million.<div>
<div>I also think that so many girls have planned this day since they were five and some people want to pursue that dream to the point that they don't care anymore how it affects other people.  I also think a lot of girls believe that being a bride means getting <strong>whatever</strong> you want and that no one is allowed to say otherwise.</div></div>

Beachy730

I had never even heard of anyone kicking a BM out until coming on TK.  Its ridiculous how many brides freak when their entire guest list doesn't plan their world around their wedding.  One of my BMs got pregnant during our wedding planning, and was 3 months pregnant at the wedding.  When she told me she was pregnant her exact words were "I have something to tell you but you are the person I'm most afraid to tell because of the wedding."  I was so excited for her, and couldn't believe she was afraid to tell me.  But when I see all the posts on here about "My BM is trying to get pregnant during my wedding planning" I guess I can see why she was worried, although I could have cared less if she was 9 months pregnant.

lalap69

Yeah, I definitely wonder about those same things.  Even just hearing stories from my friends about being in weddings and the crazy expectations brides have had of them....  Maybe they do get tunnel vision, but I can't imagine their behaviour doesn't have longlasting repercussions for their relationships.

[Deleted User]

Ya I've noticed.  I don't even really bring up my wedding planning or ideas to my friends, they are always asking and wanting to know!! (Granted, I'm the first of our "group" to get married, and our "group" is pretty much our entire wedding party)  One of my bridesmaids wanted to cut her hair (cut her hair!! that's not even close to a baby..LOL!) and she was like "the first thing I thought of was your wedding!"  I told her she was silly..as my wedding was still almost a year away at that point and I could really care less if she was bald come next July.
There's nothing I would ever want to do to lose the friends I have.  They're too awesome.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_anyone-noticed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:889ba03b-9456-4f8f-8c7a-2b77e2d5b0a6Post:30a4cb99-d890-4166-bc4b-4c0650a20734">Re: Has anyone noticed.....</a>:
[QUOTE]Ya I've noticed.  I don't even really bring up my wedding planning or ideas to my friends, they are always asking and wanting to know!! (Granted, I'm the first of our "group" to get married, and our "group" is pretty much our entire wedding party)  One of my bridesmaids wanted to cut her hair (cut her hair!! that's not even close to a baby..LOL!) and she was like "the first thing I thought of was your wedding!"  I told her she was silly..as my wedding was still almost a year away at that point and I could really care less if she was bald come next July. There's nothing I would ever want to do to lose the friends I have.  They're too awesome.
Posted by tiffbot1985[/QUOTE]

The same girl who got pregnant asked me if I wanted her to grow her hair out for the wedding so she could put it in an updo.  I told her I would never plan her hair for her, for the wedding or regular life, so she should do whatever she wanted.  I think this came from her being in a wedding of a control freak before, so she was afraid to do anything.  And I know that girl was a control freak, cause I was a BM in this friends wedding with her and she drove me crazy. 

I think people think way too much into the mindset of "this is the biggest and most important day of my life," and forget that its just one day of their lives. 

linguo42

I was absolutely shocked when I asked my girls to be bridesmaids and they each immediately started asking about what they should do to help plan this or that. One of them even said, "I'll still be in in school for the next few months, are you sure you want me? I won't be able to help as much as the others." I gave her a blank look and said, "What the hell kind of weddings have you been in before where your course schedule was a deciding factor in your being a bridesmaid? Is there some bridesmaid slave labour code I'm not aware of?"

Seriously, all I expect of my girls is that they find their own dark-coloured shoes, and that they show up on the day. If they really want to help lick envelopes (an actual offer from one of my maids) or throw me a bachelorette, then that's really sweet, but I certainly don't expect it.

So when I joined TK and started seeing all the "My MOH is too busy to help me choose between ivory and ecru napkins, should I kick her out?" and "Bridezilla is making me spend over $1000 for her wedding" posts, I was kind of shocked, to say the least.

EJCart

I had a friend who was such a Bridezilla that she seemed like a movie character. 18 months before er wedding, she gave me a month-by-month schedule of my "duties" to ensure I was doing what I needed to do to help her. About 8 months before her wedding she realized that I wasnt going to spen $900 on a bridesmaids dress and kicked me out of the wedding . . . . only to then say that she'd "let" me be the guestbook attendant.

;-)

marissa_claire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_anyone-noticed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:889ba03b-9456-4f8f-8c7a-2b77e2d5b0a6Post:2520cad1-fd23-4176-ad5b-1a6265a84041">Re: Has anyone noticed.....</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a friend who was such a Bridezilla that she seemed like a movie character. 18 months before er wedding, she gave me a month-by-month schedule of my "duties" to ensure I was doing what I needed to do to help her. About 8 months before her wedding she realized that I wasnt going to spen $900 on a bridesmaids dress and kicked me out of the wedding . . . . only to then say that she'd "let" me be the guestbook attendant. ;-)
Posted by EJCart[/QUOTE]

Where do they even make $900 BM dresses???? That blows my mind. 

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_anyone-noticed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:889ba03b-9456-4f8f-8c7a-2b77e2d5b0a6Post:7eedd07b-cae5-4a69-9b66-5fc7ca784867">Re: Has anyone noticed.....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Has anyone noticed..... : Where do they even make $900 BM dresses???? That blows my mind. 
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]
Seriously!  My wedding dress cost nowhere close to $900.  It better have had real jewels embroidered into it.

jessienjeremy

I think the show brideziillas sums it up.. I always laugh when the fiance say they fell in love with them bc they are caring and loving people. Then the next clip is them kicking someone out of the weddign cause their grandma died or were in teh hospital. I have had a lot of friends get married and I have seen half of them turn into totally differant people over it.  My mother would slap the you know what out of me if I acted that way.