Couple of Questions, need ideas!

selevin13

Heres my dilemna, My FH has picked out our wedding party because he wants to keep it small, on his side his brother and 2 best friends and on my side, my 2 sisters and his sister.  I'm ok with keeping it small but am unsure on how to include my 3 closest friends that I would have otherwise asked to be in it.  I know 2 can do readings but what about the 3rd (all 3 cannot sing so that is not an option)  Any ideas on how to include the 3rd? 

2nd Question- part of the reason for keeping our wedding party small is to include all of our nieces and nephews because we could not pick and choose.  It is 4 nieces and 4 nephews.  I was thinking of having the 2 older nieces  as junior bridesmaids and the other 2 as flower girls.  now for the boys (3 are going to be 3- they were all born within 5 months of each other and the other one is going to be 2)  do you think it would be better to have 2 be ring bearers and walk in together and then have the other 2 boys escort the flower girls or have each flower girl escorted by 2 little boys?

Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated!!!

Viczaesar

Why did your FH pick out your side?  And why does he get to have his best friends up there, but you don't? 

mbcdefg

Ditto PP, why is he the boss?

samscsi

If he wants his sister involved, why can't he have her on his side, allowing you to have your two best friends on your side?  Adding 2 people really won't make a huge difference--you'll have four attendents per side instead of three. 

frogurt814

Yep, ditto PPs.  Why would your FI pick your BMs?  That is ridiculous.  You should pick who you want to have.  You can have uneven sides.  If you want your sisters, his sister, and your 3 friends, then you can have 6 and he can have three.  Or if you don't want his sisters (or your sisters for that matter) as BMs, then don't have them.  If he really wants his sister in the WP then he can ask her to stand on his side and be a groomswoman.  She can wear a black dress or wear the same dress as the BMs.  Whatever she feels comfortable with.

marinabreeze

FI should've only been able to pick out his side, while you should be able to pick out yours.  Why can't his sister stand on his side, and you have your best friends up there with you?  Sides don't have to be even. 

trix1223

Wow.  I echo the pps:  your FI shouldn't be choosing your WP.  That seems pretty controlling to me.  If you want your friends, have your friends.

Then, the part about the kids confuses me.  You said initially that you wanted to keep the WP small, but then you're considering adding EIGHT children~EIGHT?

I get that they're nieces and nephews, but frankly, I'd skip putting any children in the WP, and add your friends instead.

Have your nieces and nephews attend as guests.  Take a picture with them after the ceremony.  Heck, take a dozen pictures with them. 

Adding that many kids will actually make your wedding MUCH harder than adding a couple of adults.

If it were my wedding, and it's not, I'd tell my FI that he gets his WP, and I get mine, and that because there are so many nieces and nephews, we're not going to choose any because we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and/or turn our ceremony into a circus.

selevin13

I appreciate the feedback just wanted to clarify something, I'm ok with only having my 2 sisters and his sister, I am extremely close to my sisters and I am decent friends with his sister so they would be included anyway.  I could never imagine not having the kids in the wedding also which is why I am also ok with only having 3 on each side.  when I said wedding party i was more refering to groomsmen/bridesmaids.  My question is how to include my 3 close friends, I am ok with them doing other roles i just need to come up with one more!  Also to clarify, my FH is not controlling at all in any way shape or form.  There are only 2 things he has asked for, this is one and having our first dance to Faithfully by Journey is the other.  Everything else is completely up to me and since it is our wedding day, i want to let him have say also.

bablingbrooke

If you want them in the wedding, ask them to be in the wedding.  If he wants only 3 GM, brilliant--that has no impact on whether you have 3 BM or 30 BM.  Your side is up to you.

If you don't want them in the WP, don't try to make up a role for them.  Just have them come as guests.  I know I wouldn't be offended if my BFF was having a family-only WP, and I'm sure your friends won't be either.  But no one likes being given a made-up title, or actual work, under the guise of an "honor."

mbcdefg

I would find a way to have three readings*, or just let the three friends be guests and enjoy themselves (and have two family members do the readings).

* Why are you limited to two readings? Is it a religious ceremony and only two are allowed? (I'm Catholic and we had three readers - Old Testament, New Testament and Prayer of the Faithful. We could've had four readers if we had the Responsorial Psalm read instead of having our musician sing it.)

Or are you writing your own civil ceremony and only want two? Can't you add a third short one in that case?

Ditto what Brooke just said.

Viczaesar

Also, 8 kids in a wedding is a lot.  If I felt like I couldn't just pick a few I'd go with none, myself.