brothers giving me away?

HisCB

i dont have a "real dad"
i have a step dad,, my "dad" and 2 older brothers and a little brother.
i also have 2 sisters who are a MOH and BM

so i was engaged when i was just out of high school in 2001, back then, i got my heart set on my 2 older brothers giving me away.
(we had planned to do a beach wedding, i would walk down the steps to the beach alone and have my 2 older brothers help me over some boulders at the bottom of the steps and walk me up the aisle the rest of the way)
back then, my little brother was only like 10 years old and i was not very close to my stepdad.

now however,  i am somewhat closer with my dad,  so i thought my brothers can walk me up to the back of the chairs (kind of a longer walk where we are having our ceremony) and my dad can walk me up the aisle.

i am closer with  my little brother than my older bros. (he moved in with me when he was 16 and lived with me off and on for 3 years) so i really want to honor him similarly to my other brothers. but i dont see him in the "give her away" role.

my FI is already having a hard time limiting his GM list...

i was thinking he can possibly escort my mom down the aisle.
also when the officiant askes, who gives this woman to be married, all 3 brothers my mom and dad can all say "we do"

or my dad says "her family and i do" (does that sound like he isnt included in my family?)

i am also considering possibly not having my dad give me away, since we still arent super close yet.

anyway sorry this is long,  how can i honor my brother similarly to my other brothers?

blackfire5th

I'll try to break down your questions:

1) Who to walk you down the aisle/give you away- I would say keep it simple.  If you want your brothers to walk you part way and your dad the rest, that's fine.  Or your brothers could walk you the entire way and you could do the father/daughter dance as a way to include your dad.  

Just realize that no one will be paying attention to who is walking you down the aisle, and you will really be more focused on your groom than the guy on your arm.

2) What does your Dad say- "Her family and I" is perfect.  If you are worried about it ask him what he would like to say.  I guess he could say "Her family," but you usually have the "and I" tacked on.  If it's causing you stress, see if you can just cut that out of the ceremony all together, none of your guest will care what you pick and I doubt you will even care at the time because you will be excited to be up at the alter with your groom.

3) Other ways to honor your brother- having him escort your mother or grandparent, or asking him to do a reading are a couple ways.  If you want, you can have him be a groomsman or bridesman (remember, sides don't have to be equal).  You can also ask him what he would like and he may not want to anything but just sit back and enjoy the ceremony.

lalap69

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_brothers-giving-away?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:94226663-0f33-49b8-b9b2-fded6ce0f6abPost:4adf77b9-5300-4dc9-bf51-4d52677c977b">brothers giving me away?</a>:
[QUOTE]i dont have a "real dad" i have a step dad,, my "dad" and 2 older brothers and a little brother. i also have 2 sisters who are a MOH and BM so i was engaged when i was just out of high school in 2001, back then, i got my heart set on my 2 older brothers giving me away. (we had planned to do a beach wedding, i would walk down the steps to the beach alone and have my 2 older brothers help me over some boulders at the bottom of the steps and walk me up the aisle the rest of the way) back then, my little brother was only like 10 years old and i was not very close to my stepdad. now however,  i am somewhat closer with my dad,  so i thought my brothers can walk me up to the back of the chairs (kind of a longer walk where we are having our ceremony) and my dad can walk me up the aisle. i am closer with  my little brother than my older bros. (he moved in with me when he was 16 and lived with me off and on for 3 years) so i really want to honor him similarly to my other brothers. but i dont see him in the "give her away" role. my FI is already having a hard time limiting his GM list... i was thinking he can possibly escort my mom down the aisle. also when the officiant askes, who gives this woman to be married, all 3 brothers my mom and dad can all say "we do" or my dad says "her family and i do" (does that sound like he isnt included in my family?) i am also considering possibly not having my dad give me away, since we still arent super close yet. anyway sorry this is long,  how can i honor my brother similarly to my other brothers?
Posted by HisCB[/QUOTE]
If you want to honour your little brother, ask him to be in your WP.

People still do the "who gives this woman?" thing?

bablingbrooke

What are either dads' expectations?  I'm not close with my father but I know it would have killed him if he couldn't walk me down the aisle, so he gave me away (even though I wasn't his to give away) because I didn't want to take that away from him.  Just something to consider--that moment is more for the dad than for you.

aerinpegadrak

I'm not close to my dad, but he got all butt-hurt when I suggested that I might walk down the aisle alone.

We're not making any mention of "who gives this woman" or whatever.  I'm being escorted, not signed over.

HisCB

my dad and my mom got together when i was 8.
were not doing dancing (until the after party)
i agree that the escorting part is more for dad(or whovever) than me, but its a long walk and id love to have that memory of my brothers walking with me.

i agree that im not anyone's belonging to be given away, i just like idea of my family, showing their love for me and support for my marriage.

the main question was how i can honor my little brother similarly to my older brothers who will be part of the walking down the aisle..

i dont want him to be a BM.

lalap69

If you don't want him to be a BM, then ask him to do a reading or be an usher.  If you don't want to do that, then set aside some time to take a special picture with him and let him attend as a guest.