maid of honor: sister or friend?

shira10

I have two sisters, one older and one younger. I dont get along well with my older sister, never have. She has a good heart overall, but is socially awkward and doesnt usually mesh well in social situations. We dont talk often, we have nothing in common, and she lives about 2 hours away. Therefore, I asked a close friend of mine to be maid of honor for the above reasons. She also lives close by, knows me better than most, and I know she will be an ideal maid of honor. As to be expected, my sister is super angry and upset with me. She also conveniently forgot that when she was supposed to get married a few years ago (broke off at the last minute) she did not want me as her maid of honor and wanted to choose a close friend. My mother is also upset at my choice, and despite the fact that she says she wont get involved, keeps throwing it in my face how wrong she thinks I am. I see that she is hurt, but I was hoping she would be understanding. Should I give in and give her the title or go with my gut and hope she eventually forgives me?

emilykathleen511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-sister-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:946a24c4-2316-4baf-a3c7-d94bb3db4e32Post:6cea3c1d-bf93-4b42-9114-a3e9a2308ff0">maid of honor: sister or friend?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have two sisters, one older and one younger. I dont get along well with my older sister, never have. She has a good heart overall, but is socially awkward and doesnt usually mesh well in social situations. We dont talk often, we have nothing in common, and she lives about 2 hours away. Therefore, I asked a close friend of mine to be maid of honor for the above reasons. She also lives close by, knows me better than most, and I know she will be an ideal maid of honor. As to be expected, my sister is super angry and upset with me. She also conveniently forgot that when she was supposed to get married a few years ago (broke off at the last minute) she did not want me as her maid of honor and wanted to choose a close friend. My mother is also upset at my choice, and despite the fact that she says she wont get involved, keeps throwing it in my face how wrong she thinks I am. I see that she is hurt, but I was hoping she would be understanding. Should I give in and give her the title or go with my gut and hope she eventually forgives me?
Posted by shira10[/QUOTE]

<div>Well, if you already asked your friend, you can't un-ask her. That would be incredibly rude and potentially a friendship ending move. If you want to ask your sister or sisters to be co-MsOH with your friend, you can, but you certainly don't have to. If you think it would save on family drama, it may be easier to just ask them all to be co-MsOH.</div>

gottahavashorti

You could tell your family that you couldn't choose between your sisters, so you decided to have both be bridesmaids and your friend as your MOH.  Or ask your sister to be co-MOH if you think it woudln't hurt the feelings of your MOH.

girl2bewed

You definately can't un ask your friend, that would be a horrible situation. You shouldn't feel pressured into having certain people in your bridal party or certain titles in your bridal party. Sit down with your family and explain to them your choices. To have your sister as your MOH just becuase she is your sister is no reason. Being close to someone and trusting them and wanting them to stand next to you is a reason and it sounds like your friend best fits this. Using the excuse of "well she didn't make me her MOH" probably wont fly but still worth reminding them that you two are not close enough to have each other as the MOH it doesn't mean you love her any less!

emilykathleen511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-sister-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:946a24c4-2316-4baf-a3c7-d94bb3db4e32Post:2c860063-5357-42ba-95f2-89d6091d9eac">Re: maid of honor: sister or friend?</a>:
[QUOTE]You definately can't un ask your friend, that would be a horrible situation. You shouldn't feel pressured into having certain people in your bridal party or certain titles in your bridal party. Sit down with your family and explain to them your choices. To have your sister as your MOH just becuase she is your sister is no reason. Being close to someone and trusting them and wanting them to stand next to you is a reason and it sounds like your friend best fits this. Using the excuse of "well she didn't make me her MOH" probably wont fly but still worth reminding them that you two are not close enough to have each other as the MOH it doesn't mean you love her any less!
Posted by girl2bewed[/QUOTE]

<div>I disagree completely with this. No one wants to hear why they weren't good enough.</div>