Wedding Party

Wedding Party Chaos

So I have a question about my wedding party but for you to help I need to give a little bit of a backstory first.

My brother and his now wife got married almost two years ago. She asked me to be a BM. I accepted and helped with the bridal shower. No one else besides her and her mother planned the wedding which was ok with me. It was her day. Now here's my problem. I recently mentioned about her being a bridesmaid in my wedding. She basically came out and said that she would rather not because my two nieces (which will be flower girls) will not sit during the ceremony and listen to anyone else but her. Now my problem with that is that I think it is just a cop out. My parents have my niece (the other isn't born yet) almost every night due to my brother and his wife working night shift. I truely believe that my niece listens better to my parents than she does her own. Therefore, my niece would be able to sit with them at the wedding. Am I wrong for being upset that she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid when I was one for her wedding?

Ok... so another question...sorry for being so long.
My fiance was a GM for my brother's wedding (same one as above). My brother does not have too many male friends that he is close with and even though he wasn't really close with my fiance (boyfriend at the time) he still asked him because I was a BM. Now the problem is my FI choosing his GM. He has alot of male friends that are extremely close to him. We are only have 3BM and 3GM due to wanting a smaller wedding. Is it rude for him to not ask my brother since he was a GM in my brother's wedding?

Any help is appreciated!
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