No Flower Girl or RB

cowgirlkitkatt

I know its my wedding and i can do as I want but are there many couples that dont use a FG or RB?

jagore08

We didn't have a FG or RB.  

Beachy730

There's not really a norm here.  I don't think you should have a FG and RB just for the sake of having them, but if you have children close to you then you should by all means have them if you want them.

My Godson lived next door to me and I was about as close to him as I could be without being his mom, so he without a doubt was going to be my RB.  I didn't even ask H, and he know he had no choice.  As for a FG it was also an easy choice since of all my young cousins there is only 1 girl, so there were no hard feelings.  I couldn't have imagined not having them in my wedding, but I'm very close with them. 

Do what you and your Fi want.  Not what anyone else wants. 

Simply Fated

My friend didn't use either, even though she has little girls and boys in their families that would have been perfect to use. (I use the word 'use' loosely, because obviously they are children and not commodities to 'use')
Anyway... the procession went fine and no one cared or even noticed, really. it made sense because they weren't allowed to toss flowers, anyway. And it saved them money on things like a pillow and flower petals, not to mention money the parents would have spent on clothes and stuff.If you and your fiance don't want one, then pass on it. It's fine, there is no right or wrong answer here, really.

bablingbrooke

Many people don't.  It's not a role that needs to be filled.  It won't invalidate the marriage license.  A friend of mine got married recently and had no RB or FG.  The wedding police didn't bust the place up; not family members walked out in protest.

In regard to THIS, yes, you and your FI can do what you want.  That's not a carte blanche that applies to EVERYTHING about the wedding; as soon as a decision impacts other people, it stops being all about you.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_flower-girl-rb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9fc8de0f-6d48-4f1d-ba89-d0090ec8bf8aPost:ea71cf2c-bd55-41a7-9537-ac4ab07756cf">Re: No Flower Girl or RB</a>:
[QUOTE]"Normal" couples have a FG and/or RB if they want them and there are children that they are particularly close to.  And if there isn't or they don't want them, then they don't have them. FI and I are having several children as FGs and RBs in OUR wedding.
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]

This.  And I'd lose the "it's my wedding, I can do what I want" thought process. 

"It's my wedding and I want no chairs!  Chairs ruin the pictures and are stubby with their four legs and scraping noises on the floor.  NO CHAIRS."  See?

Presumably you've invited other people and have a fiance.  Their opinions matter, too!

EDIT: oh, and we aren't having a ring bearer or flower girl.  Actually, we aren't really have a wedding party.  ::gasp::  Tide?  Knottie law?  Am I doomed?

emilyinchile

I answered for myself because I can't imagine how I would possibly speak for "normal couples" - we had neither.

suz62984

We had neither. If you, and FI, don't want children then don't include them. Children in wedding just open up a whole other list of things that could go wrong.

SaraAndrew2010

I wouldn't say there is one "normal" way to go for FG and RB.  We are not having either.  We don't have any little kids in our families that we are particularly close to and decided that having children in the wedding party is more trouble than its worth.

However, if you have children you are close to (nieces, nephews, godchild, etc) feel free to include them in the wedding.

jerseydevil

I didn't answer the poll bc I don't think "normal" applies. If you had asked what others are doing it would be possible to answer. 

It depends on whether you and your FI have any special relationship to little ones in your family. In our situation, we're not having either bc no one we're close to have children that we'd want in our WP.

aerinpegadrak

I tend to prefer weddings without child attendants, especially when said child attendants are very, very young.  But I understand when the couple has a young child to whom they are very close (a godchild, their own child, a niece or nephew, etc) on whom they'd like to bestow some special attention.  So I'm certainly not going to look down on someone for choosing to have a FG and/or RB.

FWIW, the only children I really have any ties with are my niece and MOH's daughter; since both were under a year old at the time of the wedding, the moms just dressed them up cute and the photographer took several pictures of them.  Trying to get them down the aisle would have been far more hassle than it was worth.

jesslovespete

I think you can pretty much do whatever as far as FG & RB go. We are not having a FG in our wedding but we are having a RB!

LisaLPharmD

Sorry everyone is jumping down your throat when you're just trying to get some input.  I don't think you need to use either.  I've been to many weddings, and I've seen all sorts of combinations.  If you don't want them, skip it - no one will think anything of it!

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_flower-girl-rb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9fc8de0f-6d48-4f1d-ba89-d0090ec8bf8aPost:aafc86ea-c58f-4db6-a2b6-5850aeb31183">Re: No Flower Girl or RB</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry everyone is jumping down your throat when you're just trying to get some input.  I don't think you need to use either.  I've been to many weddings, and I've seen all sorts of combinations.  If you don't want them, skip it - no one will think anything of it!
Posted by LisaLPharmD[/QUOTE]
Who the hell is jumping down her throat?  Just because no one said, "It's your day, honey, you do what you want!" doesn't mean people were mean.  Sheesh.  Brides don't require coddling by other brides at all times.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_flower-girl-rb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:9fc8de0f-6d48-4f1d-ba89-d0090ec8bf8aPost:aafc86ea-c58f-4db6-a2b6-5850aeb31183">Re: No Flower Girl or RB</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry everyone is jumping down your throat when you're just trying to get some input.  I don't think you need to use either.  I've been to many weddings, and I've seen all sorts of combinations.  If you don't want them, skip it - no one will think anything of it!
Posted by LisaLPharmD[/QUOTE]

Please don't presume that you speak for the board.

megandjay

We had neither. I would have had either or both if we had age appropriate children who were important to us.

slubkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_flower-girl-rb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9fc8de0f-6d48-4f1d-ba89-d0090ec8bf8aPost:ebf2e9a1-4586-48ab-8358-0c1da4999c77">Re: No Flower Girl or RB</a>:
[QUOTE]Other than to honor a niece/nephew or son/daughter, or another special kid. We didn't see a point in just picking a small boy and a small girl just for the sake of filling two roles that don't serve a purpose other than to look cute.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

We're not having a FG or RB either for this same reason.  Our venue isn't especially kid-friendly and we only have one set of friends who will be bringing their kids (1 year old and a new baby, coming from out of state).  I've warned them that their kids will probably be the only kids there.

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_flower-girl-rb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9fc8de0f-6d48-4f1d-ba89-d0090ec8bf8aPost:4a7ec685-8ff2-4e05-9755-590990297d12">Re: No Flower Girl or RB</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No Flower Girl or RB : We're not having a FG or RB either for this same reason.  Our venue isn't especially kid-friendly and we only have one set of friends who will be bringing their kids (1 year old and a new baby, coming from out of state).  I've warned them that their kids will probably be the only kids there.
Posted by slubkin[/QUOTE]

Why is only one family bringing kids?

Soon2BeMrsTing

We had a FG- my goddaughter.  There are lots of nieces and nephews to choose from for either "role", but we decided to ask my goddaughter to be FG because she's the only godchild between us and  because we knew she would light up when we asked her- and she did.  We didn't feel the need for either a FG or RB, per se- our wedding still would have been complete without dolled up moppets.  We decided to have a FG because we knew it would please my goddaugther and her whole family, who loved going shopping with her to choose the perfect "fancy" dress (her requirement, not mine)! 

Here she is in action on the dance floor:

bonnyandtim

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_flower-girl-rb?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:9fc8de0f-6d48-4f1d-ba89-d0090ec8bf8aPost:603b0636-5b47-4699-94e1-e29a0b7173dc">Re: No Flower Girl or RB</a>:
[QUOTE]I answered for myself because I can't imagine how I would possibly speak for "normal couples" - we had neither.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

I agree,

I'm not having either because the kids in our lives are really really too young. The OLDEST turns 2 the day after the wedding. & we have 5 boys & only 1 girl :-P