3 Best Friends- How to Choose MOH?

wpdavis

I just got engaged this past Wednesday (Wedding in Oct 2013), so I know I still have some time to think, but this is driving me crazy. Growing up I lived all over, so I naturally accumulated friends in different states. Problem is, now that I have 3 best friends from different periods of my life (whom all I keep in regular contact with), it's impossible to choose just 1 as a MOH. They are already assuming responsibility themselves.

What's the best way to solve this dilemma??

aragx6

Why not just have them all be MOHs or all be BMs -- when it comes to situations like these I always think it's better to focus on the friends and not the titles. Dont worry about it!

Also, read around for just a little while here and you'll quickly see why we suggest not asking anyone to be in your bridal party until at least early next year.

MiksChick23

I have three best friends too...but I just knew in my heart who my MOH was. You can have all three be your MOH or choose the one who you may already have a feeling that you would pick. Being in a WP (even being a guest!) is an honor and no one should feel insulted if you choose one as MOH and have the other two as BMs.

littleluckypenny

You don't *have* to have a MOH.  If you really can't decide, have 3 bridesmaids or 3 MOHs.

FI had a Best Man and 2 Groomsmen.  I had 4 Bridesmaids, no MOH.  Not the end of the world.

arield53

If they are truly equal then you should have all three as MOH, especially if they know one another because if you pick one, you may create tension. If you only want one and have a feeling of one over the others, go for it. Its your day. Tough decision.

amymaysa

I have this situation too, we have 3 bridesmaids.

Chels&Jimmy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_3-best-friends-how-to-choose-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2d1135c-b632-4d6b-870b-6e54431c3f62Post:71ecbbda-8cfe-4806-9f05-fd419df7fc43">3 Best Friends- How to Choose MOH?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just got engaged this past Wednesday (Wedding in Oct 2013), so I know I still have some time to think, but this is driving me crazy. Growing up I lived all over, so I naturally accumulated friends in different states. Problem is, now that I have 3 best friends from different periods of my life (whom all I keep in regular contact with), it's impossible to choose just 1 as a MOH. They are already assuming responsibility themselves. What's the best way to solve this dilemma??
Posted by wpdavis[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Congratulations on your engagement!!! :)</div><div>
</div><div>You don't have to have a MOH. If it's impossible for you to choose, just ask all three to be BM's. 

</div>

Schmetterling28

Well, I had two and a tough decision as well.  But one of my friends is an awesome viola player.  So I asked one to be my MOH and the other is a bridesmaid, but she is playing my song as I walk down the aisle.  Maybe they each have something special to offer and you can give them something to do along those lines? Or if you think you'll have readings, maybe you can assign them those? 

FabulousJen

I have 2 BFFs and 2 very close friends in my party, so I had my 2 BFFs as my MOH and the other two as Bridesmaids! No one was offended or hurt, they're all just excited to be part of the wedding!

zari19

I am also having three BMs and no MOH. One of them hates public speaking so she will be the witness on our marriage certificate, and the other two will give a speech jointly. I was also previously one of three bridesmaids with no MOH, and the bride did the same division of task for the same reason. (She inspired me actually!)

Canlyo32

Do you have a sister? I had a similar situation and chose my sister to avoid hurt feelings. No one had a problem since I wasn't "choosing "one friend over another.

tinkerken

I In Response to 3 Best Friends- How to Choose MOH?:
I say make them bride's maids and pick a sibling or family member as MOH. Then that way no one's feelings get hurt and they'll all be on the same level playing field.

tinkerken

I started out having 6 BM'S, 1 MOH, and  1 Matron of honor. Started having problems keeping my BM'S due to financial difficulties, then my MOH (sister) decides she doesn't know if she wants to be in the wedding because she doesn't approve of my husband to be. I lost my flower girl because her mother(same sister) pulled her out of the wedding. I'm frustrated and my fiance' says we'll do better just having the minister up there with us and have everyone experience the ceremony from the pews...I keep going back and forth. I wanted my two sons involved, but who would they walk down the aisle with? Each other? One is 2 yrs old( ring bearer) and my oldest is 15. My wedding isn't until May of next year...sigh...what to do???

passion12

This is your day, let God lead your way, who ever needs to be in your wedding will be available for you. Relax let God take care of it for you. I felt like you 1 year ago, my wedding is now 1 month away, I have 19 people in my court, 3  matrons of honor,  2maids og honor  2 flower girls 1 ring bearer. So many people, they are all excited, for this day. So relax, it will be fine. Congradulations to you!

Alice

Arreyn

If you're really worried about them being offended at your choice, maybe talk to them all (separately or together via phone or internet) and get their opinions. After discussing finances, time obligations, and general logistics, maybe one or two of them won't be able to do the job anyway, and so will bow out with that understanding. Or perhaps, seeing what each woman is able to do with any financial, location, or time constraints, you can use that to divide up the traditional MOH responsibilities between them (like the one who lives nearest to you goes with you to your tastings and fittigs, etc, but maybe one lives in a place that would be awesome for a bachelorette party, and the third does your bridal shower-- that sort of thing).

If you don't get a break there, maybe get creative? Come up with different titles for all three of them (if the titles are important) so they're all equal but still know they're special to you. Have each of them (as BMs or MOHs) give a speech at the reception about the time in their/your lives when you were closest... that sort of thing?

If you're not comfortable with that, let fate decide? Lol have them draw straws or pull a name out of a hat? haha I joke (mostly). Really, though, if they're your friends they'll understand your dilemma (just ask them how they'd feel in your situation, if they need perspective) and want to work with you to make your day as happy and special as possible.

Congrats on your engagement!