Maid of Honor

DHushion

So I want to see what everyone else thinks.  Am I completely crazy or does this seem like a good plan.  I have 4 younger sisters, 2 from my mom and 2 from my dad who have each remarried.  I want to include all of them in my wedding party.  The next oldest on each side are 15 and 16, will be 17 and nearly 16 when I get married.  Since I obviously can't choose between them I was going to ask both of them to be co-maid's of honor.  Am I crazy for asking them due to their ages?  On another note, should I be including my fiance's sister as a bridesmaid as well? Please help!!

trix1223

You're planning to have 4 maids of honor?  Seems a bit silly to me.  I'd just call them all bridesmaids and not have any MOH.  Calling everyone an honor attendant pretty much dilutes the "honor" part, doesn't it?

You simply say "I love you all too much to choose among you, so I'm not having any honor attendant."  done and done.

ETA:  Reading Fail on my part.  It seems that you're having 2 MsOH?  That's fine.  And the age doesn't matter, except that if your state requires a witness, you'll have to have someone other than MOH sign.  Witnesses have to be of legal age.  So have your mom sign, or grandma or godmother or any legal adult, and it's good.

GL

frogurt814

You can have two maids of honor, or no maid of honor at all.  They can just all be bridesmaids. 

To clarify, are you planning on having two of your sisters be MOHs and two of them be bridesmaids?  I think that might cause some hurt feelings between the sisters.  I'd probably just have all BMs.  As for including your FI's sister as a BM, if she is someone you are close with and would like to have standing by you on your wedding day, then go ahead and ask her.

FI could also ask her to be a groomswoman if he would like his sister to stand on his side.

lilianne22

If you are having all four of your sisters in the WP, I'd vote for them all to be BM's to avoid hurt feelings.  As for your FI's sister, if you are close with her and want her to stand with you then yes, you should ask her to be a BM.  If you only want to ask her because it's FI's sister, then no you shouldn't.  If he would like her in the WP because they are close, she can always stand on his side.

mbcdefg

You can have as many or as few Maids of Honor as you want. Personally, I don't see an issue with calling them all Maids of Honor, but that's your call (I think 3 or 4 Maids of Honor and 1 or 2 bridesmaids would be silly, personally).

Like PP said, though, if some are Maids of Honor and others aren't, would that cause hurt feelings? If that's the case, consider having all Bridesmaids.

You don't HAVE to have your FI's sister as a bridesmaid, but you can if you wish. Especially if it'll prevent a holy war in your FI's family. Or she can wear a black dress and stand as your FI's groomswoman/attendant. All she has to do is get the dress and participate in the ceremony, either way. Talk to your FI and see if he wants to include her, and if so then talk to her and see if she wants to participate. (And if not, be sure that your FI takes responsibility with his family, because it's ultimately his choice if she's included. You are not automatically to blame since you're both women.) And likewise, if your sisters are four Maids of Honor and she's the only Bridesmaid, maybe re-think having multiple Maids of Honor.

MOH should be your closest friend, regardless of age or what she's able to do for you (assist with planning, throw pre-wedding parties, etc.). It's fine for a teenager to be MOH if she is your closest friend. The friendship is what earns her the honor of being MOH, not what she'll be able to do for you.

So all of this is your call. If I were in your shoes, I'd have the four sisters and your future sister-in-law (assuming she's not a total witch) be bridesmaids, and divvy up the "duties" between them (hold bouquet during ceremony, stand next to you in photos, sign the license, give the toast, etc.).

aerinpegadrak

I think more than two MsOH just dilutes the honor.  I would just call them all bridesmaids.

suz62984

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a4ac33c1-692f-4347-90d7-05d046987991Post:b3aaf9c2-47f7-4ba6-a0cd-576dd3baa3e9">Re: Maid of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]If you are having all four of your sisters in the WP, I'd vote for them all to be BM's to avoid hurt feelings.  As for your FI's sister, if you are close with her and want her to stand with you then yes, you should ask her to be a BM.  If you only want to ask her because it's FI's sister, then no you shouldn't.  If he would like her in the WP because they are close, she can always stand on his side.
Posted by lilianne22[/QUOTE]

THIS!!!

DHushion

Just to clairfy, I only want to have 2 of the 4 be MOH.  The other two are quite a bit younger so I don't think they would be hurt.  I think they would just be happy to be part of the day.

gottahavashorti

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a4ac33c1-692f-4347-90d7-05d046987991Post:b3aaf9c2-47f7-4ba6-a0cd-576dd3baa3e9">Re: Maid of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]If you are having all four of your sisters in the WP, I'd vote for them all to be BM's to avoid hurt feelings.  As for your FI's sister, if you are close with her and want her to stand with you then yes, you should ask her to be a BM.  If you only want to ask her because it's FI's sister, then no you shouldn't.  If he would like her in the WP because they are close, she can always stand on his side.
Posted by lilianne22[/QUOTE]
Ditto this, I think it could lead to hurt feelings since they are all siblings.  You could call them all "Honor Attendant" instead of Bridesmaid or Maid of Honor.  That said, it's fine to have co-MOH and they can be any age.  If your state requires the marriage license to be signed by adult witnesses, someone else might have to do that but no biggie.

mbcdefg

That's up to you, then.

If you're genuinely closer to the oldest two then I think it's fine to have them as co-Maids of Honor. If you're ONLY having them as Maids of Honor because they're the two oldest, then I don't think you need a MOH at all and can have all Bridesmaids.

Again, your call.

suz62984

Well in that case go for it.  Just in case you've seen a vendor's "list of duties for MOH",  just know that a MOH's only duties are too show up in dress, walk down aisle, hold flowers, fix train, & smile for pictures. I don't think the age thing matters as long as you aren't thinking "I will need them to do tasks 1-50 on my list" and "plan my bach party/show up to ALL events."  They are younger so they may not be able to handle tons of wedding talk and planning. You seem like your head is in a good place though.

DHushion

First of all THANK YOU!

I actually want to be in control of the planning, I don't want to put the burden on anyone else, so I don't expect them to be doing a lot of stuff.  The two younger sisters are only 13 and 11 so I doubt they even really know theres much of a difference.  The only reason I want two is because I am close to both of them and could never choose since I don't want either to be offended since they aren't sisters.

mbcdefg

Sounds like a good plan, then!

trix1223

Good for you DH.  Happy engagement.  Happy planning.