Wedding Party

My dad wants me to ask my Stepsister to be a bridesmaid!!!!!

My father just asked me if i would consider including my step sister as one of my bridesmaids or including her in some way in our wedding. He said it would really help him out and get my stepmother off his back, and that he would make it worth it to me. (My father is always trying to bribe me). I've already picked out my bridesmaids and maid of honor and my fiancee has already picked out his groomsmen and best man. We each have 5, which i think is already borderline too many, but i have 5 best friends, so there was no way i was going to leave any of them out. I also have 2 older brothers, neither of which is going to a groomsman, which my mother has already tried guilting me into doing. But I think it's my Fiancee's decision and 1) he doesn't need 7 groomsmen 2) he isn't super close to my brothers 3) my brothers don't even care! I would like to include them in some way, so i was thinking of having them be Ushers and walking my Mom down the aisle. BUT, now my father springs this on me about my stepsister.  She and i have never been close, never got along,  i have never considered her to be a friend of mine, and i really see her now that we're not living at home (and i rarely saw her then, b/c they lived in another state!) so why would i want her in my bridal party? I really don't want her to feel left out though, but i don't know what else i could have her do to make her feel special. My feelings are, if my brothers, who i love and have known my whole life aren't standing up there with me and my fiancee, why would i have my stepsister, who i don't mind and who i've known half my life, stand up there? Any suggestions for other roles she could play so she doesn't feel left out and so that my Dad and Stepmother will be happy too (Mostly so she doesn't feel left out)? Also, any suggestions for other roles my brothers could play?

Re: My dad wants me to ask my Stepsister to be a bridesmaid!!!!!

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    First things first:  you have a fiance.  You're his fiancee.  (congrats!)

    Now~I think having your brothers as ushers is a great idea.  Could your step-sister be a reader in the ceremony?  That would give her a role that's important, but not WP.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    They could all be ushers.  Other honors are reader, candle lighter, carrying up a religious symbol (communion gifts, family bible, etc.).
    My Grandparents on their wedding day.
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    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
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    My maid of honour isn't having me stand up with her. She has a big family, so it will be family members only in the Bridal Party. This is absolutely fine! I'm still there to help her with ANYTHING she needs. (I am also going to be doing ceremony music for her.) Just keep your stepsister included in all the fun girly stuff, (if she's even in town for this) and I'm sure that will suffice. As for your brothers, they sound like they're just happy to be there for you and partying with you! I'm sure it won't take any effort at all to keep them included and make them feel special. Your brothers could stand up and give a speech at the rehearsal dinner or the wedding reception. Are they slightly funny and slightly computer savvy? Ask them to raid the baby photos and facebook accounts and see if maybe they could come up with a fun slideshow for either the reception or another wedding-related event if any. This all depends on the type of wedding you're having and how these people want to be included. (It sounds like they haven't even asked! Just your mom and dad and stepmom.) Just make them feel loved and included. I'm sure that will happen naturally and everyone will be happy.
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    Can she do a reading?  I think that's the best compromise.
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    I agree have her do a reading and keep the family peace.  Win/Win!!
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    edited July 2010
    Just tell Dad that if Stepmother is "on his back" about it to tell her to speak with you since he is not involved in picking the WP. If she does ask simply say "The WP was not something that we decided lightly. We have already made or decisions. Thank you for respecting our decision. We will be honored to have her as a guest"

    While being a guest is an honor, and something to remember in this situation, I would understand if you want to "keep peace." Just have her do a reading.

    I would not have her as a BM. If you don't consider yourselves friends then what is the point? And does the step sister even want to be in the WP or is it just mommy trying to live through the kid? Just wondering.
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    I don't think my stepsister cares, to be honest, but then again, i don't know, because we rarely talk! As far as having her do a reading, we are trying to keep the ceremony very very short, like less than 10 minutes, maybe less than 5 minutes. We aren't religious, so there wouldn't be anything for her to carry really. I do want to keep the peace, but also and mainly, if she does care, i don't want to hurt her feelings by not including her. I've spoken with a co-worker and my fiancee and my maid of honor and they all agree that probably the best title for her would be a wedding attendant. She can greet guests, hand out programs, and make sure everyone signs the guest book. Or is there another name for this?

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    Making a up a job for her is not the answer.  You aren't honoring someone by asking her to work shiit jobs.  Which is what you are proposing here.

    Either ask her to be a BM (she's already going to be at the wedding and in all the formal family photos and at all the pre-wedding events so she's practically a BM anyway--she'd just be wearing the dress) or don't ask her to be in the wedding at all.  But I know in my family, if one of my parents came to me and said I should include my sister in the wedding, that would mean that my sister was upset that she wasn't asked but didn't want to talk to me about it directly.  My sister was obligatory--we didn't get along and we weren't close, she was still my MOH.  I have no regrets about having her in the wedding.  This is family, people are already talking about it, you might as well buy yourself some family peace and ask her.  
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